The choices we make
by rain angst
Summary: Ryuuzaki and Raito grew up together, but Ryuuzaki never told Raito that he was going to become the next L. L leaves one day and a few years later the two meet up again to work on the Kira case. I have re-done the very beginning of this chapter, Please R
1. Chapter 1

L was sitting bored on the floor with his sleeping bag spread out

Title- The choices we make (may change title)

Pairing- Raito/Misa (slightly) it will become L/Raito so stick with me.

Talking ""

Thinking ''

Flashback in _italics _

I always wanted to try an AU where Raito and L are the same age. Yes I know that there is quite an age difference between the two, but I am taking certain liberties with this story. And Raito will be the older one since he has an earlier birthday. Also L might have parents. Yes I know he is an orphan but I might show them, might not we will just have to see. The two are eighteen in this story, and ages will go up. Hope it is enjoyable.

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L was sitting on his sleeping bag that was spread out across the hard floor. He was spending the night at Raito's house again and found it rude of Raito to not be entertaining his guest, even if it was four in the morning. He had gotten about an hour's worth of sleep, but being an insomniac made itself known and made L be wide awake at the moment.

Ryuuzaki stood up from his crouched position on the floor and made his way over to Raito's bed which was only a step away. He perched on the end of the bed and watched Raito sleep for a few minutes, but not wanting Raito to ignore him any longer Ryuuzaki poked Raito until he awoke. "I swear to God Ryuuzaki you better have a good reason for waking me up since we have a final exam in algebra 2 tomorrow" Raito mumbled in an anger sleepy voice. "I cannot fall asleep" Ryuuzaki said like it explained everything. "Not my fault" Raito said as he turned around and faced away from L.

"Raito-kun is being a bad host" Ryuuzaki pointed out casually. "We both know I am not, I let you have three slices of cheesecake tonight and you are just being a bad guest" Raito said almost hissing at L. "The floor is also uncomfortable perhaps if you had carpet instead of hard floor I would not be inclined to awaken Raito from his beauty sleep." Ryuuzaki pointed out and Raito kicked Ryuuzaki off the bed with a satisfactory smirk on his face. L picked himself from the floor not looking amused by Raito's childish antics.

"That was uncalled for Raito-kun" L said pouting, hovering over the bed. Ratio sighed to himself. "If I let you sit on my bed will you be a good house guest and let me sleep" Raito asked finally. "Raito-kun won't let me sleep next to him" L asked fake pouting. "I have a girlfriend" Raito began but was cut off by L. "Who Raito-kun does not care about" Ryuuzaki pointed out and Raito rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Ryuuzaki we have been over this, yes I do not really care about her, but dating her is giving me a better image" Raito said. "What better image is that Raito-kun" L said biting on his thumb and tilting his head to the side.

"It is helping me get more well known since academics only go so far" Raito said rolling to face a now pouting L. "I know that well but Raito-kun should still not be dating her" Ryuuzaki said more to himself than Raito. "Look can we have this talk some other time. It is past four in the morning and unlike you I need my eight hours of sleep a night" Raito said.

"Fine, Raito-kun may resume taking his beauty sleep" Ryuuzaki said. "And people wonder why I look better than you" Raito said rolling his eyes, and L smirked lightly. "I would get beauty sleep as well if I didn't believe it turned a person shallow" Ryuuzaki said amused and Raito threw a pillow at L, and L caught it easily. "If you want to sleep up here get up here now or I will change my mind" Raito forewarned and L sat on the bed next to Raito's chest. 'I'm glad I got a bigger bed' Raito thought as he rolled over to a side on the double bed that used to be a single.

Ryuuzaki often crawled into the bed with Raito after Raito had been asleep for an hour or so. He had been doing that since they were both five. It was the age the two had first met. Since Raito had outgrown his other bed he had asked for a double since Ryuuzaki spent the night almost every week and Sachiko had laughed and said it was for the best.

Ryuuzaki climbed under the blankets as well and stayed in the fetal position while facing Raito's back which was now falling and rising in even breaths and Ryuuzaki knew Raito had fallen back asleep. "Goodnight Raito" L said and figured he try to get at least half-n-hour worth of sleep. After moving a little bit closer to Raito so he could feel the older man's body heat, L shut his eyes and faked sleep.

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Morning came and Ryuuzaki was sitting perched on the bed next to Raito with his thumb in-between his teeth. He glanced over at the clock that read six thirty a.m. L realized he should get Raito up now since Raito acted like a girl and took at least an hour to get ready. Really ironing a shirt until it had no wrinkles and brushing his hair to perfection was ridiculous in L's opinion.

'How to wake up Raito' L thought looking up at the ceiling in contemplation. Ryuuzaki stood up on the bed and walked out of the room making sure to make no noise. He went to the bathroom and came back with a glass of water. Raito still wasn't up yet. 'Perfect' L thought as he moved to stand over Raito, and promptly dumped the glass of water on Raito' face.

Raito upper body shot up from the bed and 'hell has no fury like a women's scorn' Ryuuzaki thought as he saw the murderous intent on Raito face. "I wanted to help Raito-kun shower" L said innocently and tilted his head to the side for affect.

"Ryuuzaki" Raito said in a low voice and rose from the bed silently, Raito's hair covering his eyes, and L smirked lightly. Raito's wet hair was dripping onto the floor. "Yes Raito-kun" L asked raising his eyes to meet the top of Raito's hair since his attention had been focused on the droplets that now lay on the floor.

And Ryuuzaki expected the punch that came flying at his face and he dogged it. L dropped to the floor and used his hands to push up from the floor and kick Raito in the stomach hard enough to knock Raito on the bed but not enough to do too much harm. L quickly got up and pinned Raito to the bed before Raito could retaliate.

"I believe that Raito-kun already got a free hit last night, you turned the situation into an eye for an eye" Ryuuzaki said pinning Raito's arms above his head. "Ryuuzaki I do believe I am entitled to hitting you for your method of waking me up. You couldn't have just shaken me awake and told me to get up like a normal person." Raito questioned raising a delicate eyebrow.

"That would have been what a normal person does, and we both know I am not normal" Ryuuzaki said and Raito rolled his eyes. "Can you get up now, I promise not to punch you" Raito said and Ryuuzaki let go a little reluctantly. He stood up and Raito soon followed, and smacked Ryuuzaki upside the head. "I should have seen that coming" L said and Raito smiled charmingly in agreement. "At least Raito-kun will not have to stand under the shower as long to get your hair wet" L said changing the topic. Raito rolled his eyes. "Perhaps I should thank you then" Raito said sarcastically and gathered his school clothes, 'which were already pressed to perfection' L noted dully. "Are you going to wait for me here, or are you going to go home" Raito asked since L only lived a block away.

"I shall wait for you to get out of the shower, or are you going to be over an hour?" L asked and Raito walked out of the room not dignifying that with a response.

L pushed the door shut behind Raito and locked it. He moved to a small bag he had brought with him that held his school uniform. L really did distaste school uniforms. 'The closet I will get to being part of a crowd' Ryuuzaki thought with slight amusement. He slipped off his white t shirt and pulled on the white button up long sleeved shirt. He buttoned it almost all the way up but left the top two undone. Unlike Raito he cared about breathing.

The shirt was wrinkled up quite a bit and L pulled on the pants without tucking the shirt in. The tie was around his neck and he was not going to wear a chocking mechanism willingly. The jacket hung off the side of Raito's bed and L pulled out a small, worn out book that held a biography on Amadeus Wolfgang Mozart.

Half-n-hour went by before Raito re-entered the room wearing his school uniform. The shirt held no wrinkles and was tucked into the pants. The shirt buttoned up all the way and the tie tight enough to look in place without chocking. "Come on lets go downstairs now" Raito said and L placed the book in his back pocket and stood up from the bed. "Still refusing to un-wrinkle your shirt" Raito said idly and L smirked, "but of course Raito-kun" Ryuuzaki said. The two walked downstairs and entered the kitchen.

"Good morning Raito and Ryuuzaki-kun" Sachiko said smiling at the two. L nodded his head in greetings and Raito said good morning to his mom. "Is Sayu up yet?" Raito asked looking around for his younger sister. "No can you go get her up please" Sachiko asked Raito. "Of course" Raito said as he moved back upstairs. L made his way to the table and sat down at the chair closet to stairs, Sachiko had deemed that to be L's chair, since L always sat there whenever he ate any meals with the family. "How is school going Ryuuzaki-kun" Sachiko asked from the kitchen. "It is going fine Yagami-san" Ryuuzaki responded in a monotone voice.

Sachiko came out of the kitchen and placed the stack of plates down. "I can set up" L offered. "That would be wonderfully Ryuuzaki-kun, thank you" Sachiko said and L stood up from the chair and grabbed the first plate with his thumb and index finger. "Just be careful" Sachiko said worried Ryuuzaki would by accident drop a plate because of the way he held things.

"Any luck with Raito yet?" Sachiko asked and L almost did drop the plate. He glanced back at her slightly surprised. "A mother knows all, and you two are much closer than the usual best friends" Sachiko explained. 'I under estimated Raito's mothers intelligence' L thought wryly. "No, and I would prefer if you did not tell anyone about your observation" L said. "I won't tell anyone else don't worry" Sachiko said and L gave her a little smile in apparition.

"I am not that obvious am I?" L asked titling his head to the side to get a better look at Sachiko's face. "Not at all Ryuuzaki-san, I only said it since you are a tad bit more expressive with Raito. Quite a lucky guess" Sachiko said, and L nodded his head in agreement as he placed the last dish down. "Yagami-san you do not mind how I feel about your son" L questioned. "I would like to see Raito have children but if he does chose you then I will be just as happy, perhaps you two will even adopt" Sachiko said smiling at the idea. Ryuuzaki smiled a little and looked back at the table, with his career choice he doubted that would ever happen, but didn't want to discourage Yagami-san quite yet.

Foot steps were heard coming down the stairs and Raito and Sayu appeared soon after. "You're in luck I just finished breakfast" Sachiko said moving back to the kitchen and coming back carrying a tray of white rice and miso soup. She put all the bowls next to the plates and moved back into the kitchen. A few minutes she came out holding a pot of scrambled eggs. "Both Japanese and American breakfast combined into one" Sayu said happily and looked ready to drive into the eggs. Sachiko put the eggs down in the center of the table and Sayu was the first one to get some.

"Is dad still at work" Raito asked curiously. "Yes he says he will be home around five today, since the case he is working on should be ending around three today" Sachiko said happy that her husband would finally be home again.

Raito and L shared a look but made no comment out loud. L ate some of the rice and eggs but didn't touch most of the food. "You really should eat healthier" Raito said giving Ryuuzaki a pointed look. "My diet is quite fine the way it is Raito-kun. I recently had a doctor appointment and he said I was healthy for my age group." L said moving the food around. "Probably said you were underweight to" Raito said taking a bite of the eggs. "True, but still healthy despite the fact I don't eat like you" Ryuuzaki pointed out. "Your going to get fat one of these days" Raito said even through unless L became a moron that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. "We both know that is false" Ryuuzaki said flatly.

The two stared one another down until Sayu broke. "You two fight like an old married couple. Just a bit more violently" Sayu said remembering the time she walked in on the two have a fist vs. kicking fight. Raito and L broke the eye connect. The two bickered a little bit more, and neither denied that they did indeed fight like that.

They finished and placed the dishes in the sink. "I'll see you later mom, Sayu" Raito said as he moved toward the door holding his backpack with his hand. L just nodded his head in acknowledgement with his backpack stuffed under his arm, and decided to not retire his jacket. The two slipped on their shoes and left while hearing a happy sounding Sayu say a loud goodbye to the two.

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The two had taken the subway and were now making their way to the high school. It was spring and the cherry blossom trees lined the street to the school. "Raito-kun is joining the police force, in the in intelligence analyst department correct?" L said. "Yes, you never said what you wanted to do. What is it?" Raito asked curiously. "I am not sure yet" Ryuuzaki said lying through his teeth. He had not mentioned it to Raito that once he reached age 20 he would take over the position of L. His grandfather had sent him a letter saying he had big news for L, and that he would be there today. As a child his grandfather had left him a trail of clues and if he discovered his grandfather's code name he was eligible to become L. At the age of six he had already known what it was.

_His grandfather visited often since L knew he was his grandfather's favorite and only grandson. The two were sitting in the living room by themselves since Ryuuzaki parents were both working. "Your code name is Watari" L said bluntly, while eating a piece of lemon cake. Watari chuckled lightly, 'just like my grandson to be blunt' Watari thought. _

"_That is correct Ryuuzaki. There are more tests in order to become L. You do know your real name will never be used, and very few people will know your face. Right now you are the best candidate, but because you are so young are you sure you want to do this. There is no backing out of it once you commit to it" Watari explained to L lightly. The current L only wanted smart children who were dedicated to taking over his position. If one of the candidates had high potential over the others he wanted to make sure that child would not change their mind and therefore were not allowed to compete if they were not serious. _

"_I want to catch criminals and make them see justice, I will not back out of this career choice" L said with an unweaving voice and Watari nodded his head in understanding. His grandson could already be very stubborn when he wanted to be. "Alright Ryuuzaki there will be test administrated through out the years and each one will see how you are progressing. By the time you reach eighteen you will know if you will be the next L or not, but are you sure that no one knowing who you really are is ok. Most would want the fame for the cases they solve" Watari said and Ryuuzaki nodded his head in understanding. _

"_I will become the next L. Being in the spotlight is useless to me, I do not like the attention it comes with. And this way I don't have to worry about anyone holding a grudge against me and coming to kill me since they won't know my face" Ryuuzaki said as a fact and Watari smiled at L. "I have a feeling you will be the next L. That was another test, and you passed. Now the next time I come to visit you, you will be given the next part of the test" Watari informed L._

_Ryuuzaki nodded his head, and finished eating his cake. L looked sadly down at his now empty plate. "Your parents won't be home for awhile, let's go out for ice cream" Watari said and L nodded his head happily. _

_The two made their way out of the house and Watari locked the door before the two drove to the closet ice cream shop with L sitting in the back seat. "Have you made any friends?" Watari asked, he didn't believe his grandson was the type to make friends easily. He got bored of people rather fast, so if he did they would have to be on Ryuuzaki's intellueically level. _

"_Yes I actually did" Ryuuzaki said and Watari's ears perked up. "Really, what is there name?" Watari asked curiously. "His name is Yagami Raito" L said staring out of the window, even through he was not concentrating on the scenery. "I'm glad you made a friend" Watari said genuinely but at the same time was concerned. _

"_This is going to present problems in the future isn't it" L said as a fact instead of a question. "You can tell Yagami-kun, but you have to make sure he won't tell anyone, and there is a chance that you will never see him again once you become L" Watari warned. He already knew Ryuuzaki would be the next L, the other candidates were not nearly as smart and he was not being biased, just going by facts. _

_Ryuuzaki went silent and stared out the window, he knew that he would not tire of Raito, but he would more than likely lose the only friend he was positive he would ever have. At the moment he was not fully sure he was willingly to risk losing Raito's friendship for becoming L, and for now a small part of him would regret the loss of a friendship that was bound to happen eventually. _

"_I heard of a new bakery that opened up recently and is close by. We should stop by there on the way home and pick up a cake to share with your parents" Watari said attempting to get his grandson to cheer up. A small smile curved onto L's face. "Can we get two" L asked bringing his thumb up to his mouth. "Of course" Watari said and Ryuuzaki smiled in excitement. _

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"You still there" Raito asked waving a hand in front of Ryuuzaki's face. "Yes and why is Raito-kun waving his hand in front of my face?" L asked titling his head to the side confused. Raito's mouth formed a teasing smile before he answered. "I was asking you another question and you completely zoned out." Raito informed L.

"I see, and what is the question?" L asked as the two began walking toward the school building again. "I was asking if you wanted to stop by the vending machines so you could eat something. You did eat less than usual" Raito said. "A chocolate bar does sound good" Ryuuzaki said and Raito lead the way to the school's vending machines.

"It is surprising to know you don't even have a job in mind" Raito said as he sat on the bench that was located by the vending machines. L put some money in and got out a chocolate Wonka bar. "Just because I have not told Raito-kun what it is doesn't mean I have not decided on a job choice yet" L said tearing open the Wonka bar and eating the chocolate contently. "You have" Raito said sounding a bit upset that Ryuuzaki had not told him.

"I have and once I am a hundred percent certain I have the job, I will tell you" L said not wanting to discuss it quite yet. "Is it a job I have heard about" Raito asked trying to get L to say more about his job decision. "Everyone has heard of it" L said vaguely and Raito sighed in defeat. "Fine I guess I will just have to wait" Raito said dismissively. "Indeed, we should get to class" Ryuuzaki said throwing the wrapper away and the chocolate bar was dangling out of his mouth.

"Are you going to come over today after school?" Raito asked as the two made their way up the stair well. "Can't my grandfather is coming over today" Ryuuzaki said. "Really I haven't seen Quillish-san for awhile. Tell him I say hi" Raito said and L nodded his head in agreement.

"You should still come over today since you left a few things over at my house" Raito said as the two entered the hallway. "I can't, apparently Quillish has something important to tell me and said I need to be home right after school" L said and Raito looked disappointed but didn't say anything.

They reached the classroom and the door was already opened. "Raito-kun does know that I will beat you with the grade and how fast the test is completed" L said. "Taking the test fast means nothing, probably just means you don't get it" Raito said pointedly. "And I do believe that the point says differently from last test" L said and Raito rolled his eyes. "It was a point, and with the extra credit I still got a perfect" Raito said and L smirked.

"Now class it is time to take the final exam" the teacher said looking at Raito and L with disdain. The two went to their appointed desks and the test was passed out to everyone. A half-n-hour into the final L and Raito finished and brought the test up to the teacher.

The two grabbed their things and left the classroom. Last time the teacher had allowed them to stay they both finished the test and the two ended up going through each problem disusing how they solved it and whose way was better. As soon as the teacher had noticed this and all the other students who were waiting for the two to finally say the answer she kicked them out and said that whenever they finished to just leave since there would be no lessons on test days. She had put the two at opposite ends of the classroom but they both still got into arguments over it. The first time they used American Sign Language before they started in hushed whispers since sign language took to long and Morse code had driven the teacher crazy with the taping, which had ended up to the situation of them both just leaving.

"Do you think we will give her a heart attack before we leave this school" Raito asked as the two moved down the stairwell and went back outside to talk since it was a nice day. "There is a 5 that we will since that was one of the last classes" L said looking up at the sky. They made it to the vending machines and sat down on a nearby bench that had a table to separate the two sides.

"RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOO-KKKKKUUUNNN" A high pitched feminine voice rang out. Raito inwardly flinched and L's whole body stiffened. Misa came bouncing over wearing a black tank top and a mini red skirt. Black and blue bracelets decorated her arms and she wore knee high black boots with her hair done up in pig tails. "What are you doing here Misa" Raito asked looking confused and surprised. "I came to visit you silly" Misa said clinging onto Raito's left arm as she sat down next to him.

"Misa the only reason I am out here is because I had a test today" Raito said and Misa giggled. "I know that silly, and knew once you were done you would come out here so I waited" Misa said happily. "Why did you wait out here" Raito asked her not really caring, but sounded concerned. "Because Misa hasn't seen** her** Raito-kun in weeks" Misa said giving L a sharp look that said 'back off property of Misa Amane.' "I didn't know you were developing stalker traits Amane-san" L said flatly. "Misa-misa is not a stalker she is dating Raito not you" Misa said nuzzling her head into Raito's arm, after promptly glaring at L. "Did Amane-san just figure that out" L asked biting his thumb and looked at Misa amused.

Misa head moved back to L so she could look at him. "I have known that for awhile" Misa said angrily and turned to Raito. "Raito lets go somewhere more private" Misa said as she scooted her body closer so it pressed firmly up against Raito's side, a seductive glint her in eyes. L looked ready to leap over the table and kill her. "Umm Misa my next class is staring soon I need to go, but what if we go on a date tomorrow night" Raito said appeasing Misa. "Really Misa-misa can't wait" Misa cried happily and kissed Raito's cheek, and L looked ready to kill her. Raito got his arm back and grabbed Ryuuzaki and the two were off with Misa yelling to Raito she call him later.

The two stopped walking once they reached the inside of the library. "Raito-kun next time we have a test and get out early we are not going outside" L said, and Raito nodded his head in agreement. "I didn't know she was coming" Raito said hoping L's pent up anger would release in a non violent manner. L sighed as he counted down from ten and moved toward the back of the library. "Its fine you didn't know" L said and Raito sighed with relief. "Why is it you two don't get along" Raito asked and L stopped walking. "There is a reason and when I tell you what job I am doing I might also tell you then. You are free to ask Amane-san as well" Ryuuzaki said and started to walk again.

"What are you looking for" Raito asked as he followed Ryuuzaki down another row of books. "I am looking for another book on Mozart." L said and Raito smiled genuinely. "It is probably not healthy to be obsessed with Mozart" Raito said letting the amusement show in his voice. L turned to face Raito and smiled as well. "Mozart is the greatest classical composer and I have seen all the books you have on Bach and it seems Raito-kun has developed his own unhealthy addiction" L said and Raito's face tinged red. "I guess we are even then" Raito said and L smirked. Ryuuzaki found the book he was looking for and grabbed it before going to the front desk to check it out.

"Let's go, are next class is starting soon" Raito said and L nodded his head putting the book in his backpack.

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The rest of the school day passed quickly and the two were walking home. "Are you really going to go on a date with Amane-san" L questioned not liking the idea of those two being around each other. "Misa is not going to turn me stupid, so stop thinking it already" Raito said and L pouted cutely. 'Raito didn't have to sound so annoyed' L thought. "And yes I am. It will be even worse if I tell Misa I will go on a date with her and than don't" Raito said and L didn't want to have to deal with Misa shirking at him again saying that it was his fault that Raito had cancelled the date. Last time she did that Raito had gotten sick but had down right refused tell Misa that. She would try to play nurse and Ryuuzaki had agreed with Raito's plan right away. Instead, he told Misa that he and Ryuuzaki were going to a classical performance that Raito had forgotten about. Misa had bought it but she still blamed L. Raito had to supply Ryuuzaki with cake for the whole week and Raito's wallet had suffered.

Raito's house could be seen and once they reached the gate they both stopped. "Are you sure you don't want to come in, if not just to get your clothes" Raito asked again and Ryuuzaki shock his head no. "I will see Raito-kun later" Ryuuzaki said and Raito said good bye as well before going into his house.

"Raito you are finally home from school" Sayu said happily and looked around. "Your partner seems to be gone" Sayu teased not seeing Ryuuzaki. "Sayu please say that again" Raito asked confused. "I just figured Ryuuzaki-san would be here to, you take the fun out of gay jokes" Sayu said and Raito felt his face heat up. "Sayu we are not dating" Raito informed his sister and Sayu just grinned like she knew something he didn't, it was frightening. "Come on, dad is coming home tonight so we have to make sure everything is set up by the time he gets here" Sayu said grabbing Raito's arm and hauling him into the kitchen.

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L waited until Raito shut the door before he walked another block and made it to his own house. The door was opened before L could twist the knob and Watari stood there holding the door open for L. "Welcome home Ryuuzaki" Watari said in affectionate tone. L nodded his head to Watari and stepped into the house. "Come on lets go the living room" Watari said and L followed behind him. The two made their way in there and L was happy to see a cup of tea and a plate of chocolate chip cookies out. He sat down on the plush crimson couch and stated to eat a cookie.

"Since you are now eighteen it is time I tell you about your future. The current L has recently died, but before he died he named you his heir. That is all I can disclose to you" Watari said pausing for a second to let it sink in. "Now starting next week you will go to Munich Germany and start your first case. Apparently there is a serial killer on the loose and Munich is quite in need of your help. The serial killer has already killed twenty people. There is no evidence at the crime scenes and no sign of a struggle from the victims. Are you still willing to do this" Watari asked since L had stopped eating the cookie and that in itself was a fret. "Of course I am Watari. I will be ready by next week" L said letting no emotion show.

"Good I will go start dinner, since your parents should be here in an hour" Watari said and left the room. L pulled his legs closer to his chest. 'I thought I had more time' L thought ignoring the cookies on the table. He pulled out the small black cell phone out of his side pocket and went to Raito's name on the small list he had. Ryuuzaki's finger hovered over the call button for a few minutes, but, in the end he just snapped the phone shut.

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End of first chapter.

I always wanted to do an AU and hope the first chapter is interesting. My gosh this is the longest chapter I have written so far, pretty sure about that. So what did you all think of it? I think it may skip around a bit but not in a bad way, or is that just me. I will forewarn you all now that there will more than likely be more OOC'ness.

Raito knows Quillish name instead of Watari since it is Watari that is the code name.

The wonka bar is quite yummy and I love eating those.

L's parents might make an entrance next chapter, and L just might tell Raito about his job will have to read to find out.

I switched between L and Ryuuzaki so one name was not dominating the other and I thought it made the sentence's sound better.

Review and tell me what you think of it. Cause I don't think it is horrible and please review. I really should be studying for the test I have tomorrow and it is already pass nine, crap. Anyway hope you all enjoyed and review!

Rain angst


	2. Goodbye

Title- The choices we make

Title- The choices we make

Pairing- Raito/Misa (will change), L/Raito eventually

Talking ""

Thinking ''

Bold is text messaging. If it does not show up I apologize in advance, but it should be obvious, if not whoops.

Warning's- OOC'ness

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L stood up from the couch and made his way over to kitchen. "Watari you have the paper work done for my fake transfer to a college abroad correct." L said leaning against the entrance to the kitchen not wanting to walk completely in. "Yes, all the arrangements have been made" Watari said cooking Somen. "I guess we will be telling the parents tonight" L said in a bored tone. "It is short notice to them but yes" Watari said and Ryuuzaki nodded his head and went to his room that was on the top level. It was the last room down the long hallway.

L opened the door and stepped into his room before re closing the door softly. His dresser was off to the far right and L wanted to be rid of the school uniform. He moved to his dresser undressing on the way. The tie had been crossed once and he pulled it up and over his head and tossed it onto the floor before unbuttoning his pants and letting them slide of his boney legs and onto the floor. L stepped out of them and unbuttoned his shirt. The shirt was off by the time L got to his dresser and he tossed it onto the side of his bed. His ribs were sticking out slightly and his stomach was completely flat.

L opened the top dresser drawer and pulled out a white long sleeved t-shirt before opening another drawer and pulling out dark denim blue jeans that hung loosely on his hips. L sighed lightly feeling better about his clothes and crouched on his bed.

L brought a finger up to his mouth and wondered if he should tell Raito about his job choice and his feelings. A word he truly hated. Having emotions would not make a good detective. And emotions were much more complex to L then solving an Astrophysics problem. If you wanted to have a decent relationship with someone friend or otherwise you have to take the other persons emotions into account and make sure you didn't say something that would hurt their feelings.

L had been lucky to meet someone like Raito who really didn't care about what others thought about him, and didn't care that L was as blunt as he was. But that had been on everyday things, nothing like admitting to your best friend that you had secretly loved them for six years. This would affect both him and Raito, and L did not like it that he had to go out of his comfort zone. Social interactions were Raito's things not his. And there was no way he would tell Raito that he loved him and wait for the other's response. Ryuuzaki was more than fifty percent sure that telling Raito how he felt and then leaving would make Raito hate him for a good long while.

He would take that over waiting for Raito's answer, for it could change his resolve on leaving that night and L refused to risk his job. 'Even if it was for Raito' L thought sadly. There was over an 80 chance that he would try to stay if Raito felt the same way and L could not have that, so telling Raito at the last moment was the only thing to do.

And a person should live for their job not an emotion which could one day just disappear. Life was not like the fairy tale books where two people met and fall in love instantly and somehow livid happily ever after. Half of all marriages ended in divorce and even then, finding an ideal ending would never happen. Some people called it pessimistic but L preferred realistic.

And L did not think Raito would appreciate it if he swept Raito of his feet and whisked him away with him to foreign countries. Mainly because Raito would want praise for his work, and Raito would not want to solve cases if there was no notice from the public. L was praised for his work but at the same time no one would know his face and Raito would want his face to be seen.

Raito had always wanted to be seen. As kids he would make sure to participate in the class so the teachers would recognize him and they would know they had a genius in the class. Ryuuzaki preferred to ignore what the teacher was saying and read ahead in the book. It made the teachers very upset with him whenever they called on him and he would say the right answer even without having paid attention to the lessons.

L bit his thumb in annoyance. 'I will tell Raito that I love him the night before I leave' L decided and knew it was a coward's way out, 'but at least if Raito regets me I won't have to deal with it.' L thought and he could make a clean break before Raito said anything. 'And the job will not be mentioned' L thought and knew he was a liar, as was Raito, but the truth was too much of a nuisance to reveal all in one night. He just take his chances and hope Raito wouldn't hold a grudge for to long though that might be asking for to much.

A small knock was heard on the door and Watari stepped into the room. "I have gotten a call from your parents saying that they will be late today" Watari said and L nodded his head. "I was not really expecting them any way's since they are working on a large project for work" L said and Watari chuckled lightly. "Would you like some dessert? I came into possession of a red velvet cake" Watari said and L smiled lightly and stood up from the bed. "That would be nice" L said and followed Watari out of the room.

"It seems we will have to tell your parents at a later time" Watari said entering the kitchen with L making a beeline to the table. Watari put a large piece of red velvet cake down in front of L and moved to sit across from Ryuuzaki while placing his plate of somen in front of himself. The two ate silently and L ate half of it before stopping. "Ryuuzaki I know that leaving your friend is going to be hard, but you should still eat, you are underweight" Watari said concerned and L nodded his head. "I will be back to normal soon enough, there is no need to worry Quillish" L said and stood up from his chair and left the room.

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Soichiro entered the house for the first time in three days and was surprised to see Sayu and Raito at the door. "Welcome home dad" Sayu said happily and hugged Soichiro right there. "Your case is finally done right" Raito asked and Soichiro smiled up at Raito. "It is, we were able to arrest her without much difficulty. So I guess Ryuuzaki won this bet" Soichiro asked knowing the wager that Raito and L had going on. "It would appear so" Raito said and Soichiro put a hand on his son's shoulder. "If it helps Yamato was Shuya-sans accomplice, and they were not strangers like they first seemed to be" Soichiro said and Raito eyes brightened up a little at that. The three of them entered the kitchen.

"Let's not have any police talk at the dinner table" Sachiko said and Soichiro kissed his wife cheek in apology. The four sat down and stated to eat. "How did your test go today" Soichiro asked Raito not remembering what subject it was. "It was easy, through the last problem was a little tricky" Raito said and Sayu rolled her eyes. "You and Ryuuzaki probably found it to be quite easy" Sayu said and Raito smiled at his sister. "Compared to your math skills it was a breeze" Raito said and Sayu stuck her tongue out. "And you and Ryuuzaki are going to talk to at the opening ceremonies for To-oh correct" Soichiro asked. "Yes since we both scored the highest, the college wants us to do the opening ceremony speech together" Raito said. He would be bored if Ryuuzaki wasn't around. "That is great, and I will try to come" Soichiro said knowing he couldn't make any promises. "If you can't that is fine. I understand that your work can be quite busy." Raito said and Soichiro smiled at his son proudly. 'He turned into a fine young man' Soichiro thought.

"Raito do you have any girlfriends yet" Sayu asked poking her brother in the ribs and having a teasing look on her face. "I do actually" Raito said a bit hesitantly. Three mouths dropped to the floor and Raito looked around surprised. "What is with the look" Raito asked looking confused. "Do you think you will get serious with her?" Sayu asked seriously. "I have not really thought that far ahead but at the moment no" Raito said truthfully and Sachiko and Sayu shared relieved looks.

Dinner finished with no other incidents and Raito moved up to his room to study even though he didn't have any more tests to take. He opened his door and noticed the random clothes Ryuuzaki had left behind. 'Truly a slob' Raito thought going around and picking up the clothes. He hated seeing messes and refused to have any in his room. He folded the three clothes items and placed them on the edge of his bed, debating if should

return them to Ryuuzaki or not. His thoughts were interrupted since his cell phone started ringing. He pulled it out from his pocket and looked at the caller id. Raito sighed and opened the phone without putting it next to his ear.

"RRRRAAAIITTTOOO-KKUUNN GUESS WHO IT IS" Misa said from the other line; "Misa I know it is you" Raito said feeling like he was talking to a five year old. "Really? what gave it away" Misa asked, and Raito refused to dignify that with an answer. "So I was thinking that tomorrow we can go to this new restaurant that just opened up. It is supposed to be a very romantic restaurant and we can finally have some privacy" Misa said happily. "Misa it is probably going to be a very pricy restaurant" Raito said. "Well I can pay since I have a job" Misa said before realizing something. "No offense to you of course Misa-misa was just saying since Misa is able to have a job that I should pay for it is Raito mad at Misa-misa" Misa asked sounding ready to cry. "No Misa I am not mad at you" Raito said and Misa let out a loud cry of happiness.

"Misa I think we should go somewhere where it isn't so expensive" Raito said not wanting to go to a romantic restaurant with Misa. "Misa-misa also was thinking about going to the movies since this new movie came out and Misa-misa wants to see it" Misa said excitedly. "That is fine. I will meet you at downtown Tokyo Movie Theater tomorrow at seven ok" Raito asked and Misa made a sound of agreement. "I'll talk to you later Misa" Raito said. "Love you Raito, bye bye" Misa said and then the phone line went dead. Raito sunk in his chair in relief that it was over.

He closed his phone and leaned back in his chair. 'Breaking up with Misa is a very tempting idea' Raito thought placing his cell phone on his desk. He glanced over at his calendar and saw that it was a Thursday.

His cell phone buzzed alerting him that he just received a text message. Raito flipped the phone open and hoped it wasn't Misa.

**Raito-kun can I spend the night on Wednesday**

That was all it said and Raito smiled as he picked the phone up and typed in his message.

**You don't even have to ask**

Raito typed and sent the message to Ryuuzaki. A few minutes later the phone buzzed and Raito looked back down at it.

**Does this mean I get free reign on the sweet contents?**

Raito rolled his eyes before answering

**You already do and have for quite awhile, now I am**

**going to bed so goodnight**

Raito typed in and waited for the message to come.

**Good night then**

With that Raito turned his phone off. It was only eight o clock and his body wanted rest. Dealing with Misa was always mentally draining, and not in a good way. Raito changed into some night clothes and fell asleep in his bed soon after.

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The next day came and L and Raito were off for their last day school. "I don't see the point in going to school after all the exam's are done with, and especially since all we are going to do is watch boring movies" L said flatly. "Well you do have to return that library book that you got out yesterday" Raito said. "I know that but still don't see the point. Dropping of the book and then just going home is a much more appeasing idea" L said and Raito rolled his eyes.

"You're starting to make me feel like bad company" Raito said. "Raito-kun is the only salvation I have from boredom" L said seriously and Raito grinned lightly "if it makes you feel better than you are also my salvation" Raito said and L gave Raito a knowing look. A small feeling of guilt emerged in L. He would go off and at least be able to solve difficult, interesting cases while Raito reminded here, and would not know what really happened to his best friend. 'I'm a horrible friend' Ryuuzaki thought bitterly but pushed the thought away for now.

"How are you going to handle Amane-san today" Ryuuzaki asked as the two walked through the school gates. "She said something about going to see a movie" Raito said offhand. "Raito-kun deserves to be suffering through those awful chick flick movies" L said and Raito glared at him. "Why do I deserve that torment" Raito asked and L grinned before answering. "Because you are willingly dating Amane-san" L said like it justified Raito's pain. Raito paused and thought about it. "I concede" Raito said and Ryuuzaki smirked in victory.

The two entered the classroom and the teacher pulled out a DVD. "Alright class we are going to be watching KamiKaze girls today" the teacher said and put the DVD in. A mixture of cheers and groans were heard throughout the class. 'It is going to be a long day' L thought glancing at the T.V. wearily.

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Ryuuzaki made his way to the library and dropped his book off in between his classes. First they had to watch KamiKaze girls, which L found slightly amusing that the two main girl characters in the film were complete opposites and turned out to be the best of friends at the end, and L suspected something more. Through Raito would be Momoko if not just because she cared more about her appearance than Ichigo. He felt like the movie had somehow mocked him, which did not broad well with him, especially the line 'humans are cowards in the face of happiness.' L sighed he was over thinking this was way too much.

Raito was standing outside of the library's door and holding a small bottle of water and a snickers bar. L took the snickers bar and ate it in peace. "Is it just me or did that movie remind you of you and me for some reason" Raito asked and L smirked at Raito. "I think

Raito-kun is putting too much thought into it" L said and Raito glared. "Though I think those two girls are more than just friends, so would Raito-kun say that about us as well" L said in a teasing tone. Raito's face went a little pink but he quickly covered it by taking a sip out of the water bottle. "No I would not Ryuuzaki since we are straight" Raito said. "As straight as a circle in your case" L said with a teasing smile. "I have a girlfriend while you do not" Raito said slightly defensive. "True but I believe that there is a 60 chance that Raito is hiding in the closet" L said and Raito gave Ryuuzaki a small glare. "If I am hiding in the closet you must be in there too" Raito said with a small grin on his face, and L chuckled in amusement.

The two walked in a comfortable silence before Raito broke it. "Only one more class and we can leave. Can you come over today" Raito asked glancing over at L. "Yes, and I was right about the case" L said triumphantly. "You were right about the Shuya-san being the murderer, but Yamato was the accomplice. This is why I bought you the snickers bar, since you would have bought a food item anyways" Raito said and L nodded his head in agreement.

A small pause went by before L spoke. "Raito-kun would you notice my disappearance if I left" L asked not intending to ask the question. Raito stopped walking as did L and the two faced each other. "You know I would, did something happen" Raito asked concerned. "Nothing of importance, we are going to be late if we don't hurry" Ryuuzaki said and Raito and him speed up. "I'll see you later" Raito said since the two did not have the same last class. "Indeed" L said taking the hallway that went right and Raito made his down the left hallway, not being fully able to shake off the feeling that something was wrong.

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The school bell rang and Ryuuzaki was the first one to make it to the school gate. He stood at the entrance and waited for Raito to come out of the building as well. His back was slouched more than usual and many students hurried by him not making eye connect with him.

Four minutes went by and Raito came out surrounded by a small group of other friends he had. He noticed L right before the group made it past the school gate. The others said goodbye to Raito and continued to walk by L while whispering to each other that they didn't get how Raito could be friends with someone as weird looking as L. Ryuuzaki ignored their comments since he was used to them by now. There had been a few girls

who had asked him why he was friends with Raito and he stare the girls down until they apologized and ran away scared.

"Sorry it took me so long, are you ready" Raito asked politely and Ryuuzaki just started walking in the direction of Raito's house. "You're not mad are you" Raito asked since L was being more silent than usual. "No, I just have a lot on my mind. Did you already start thinking about what you are going to say for the opening ceremonies" L asked and Raito smiled. I already have it written down" Raito said. "It mentions cherry blossoms in it right" L said a glint of amusement in his eye. "You make me sound like I wrote something girly" Raito said rolling his eyes. "Perhaps you did" L said knowingly and Raito smacked L upside the head once they were out of view of other classmates.

"That isn't very nice Raito-kun" L said rubbing his head. "You called me speech girly" Raito said. "Which leads me to believe that it is girly because you smacked me while not denying the fact" L said and Raito released his death glare of doom upon L who smirked back at Raito. "If only the people could see Raito not being a goody toe shoes. Your fan girls may have decreased in their numbers" L said and Raito rolled his eyes. "At least they didn't attack me this year, so as long as they behave they can think whatever they want" Raito said not caring about their opinions.

The two soon made it back to Raito's house and entered through the front door to remove their shoes and put on the slippers. Raito made his way into the kitchen area with L trailing behind him. Soichiro was sitting on the couch reading the newspaper with Sachiko dusting off the furniture. "Welcome home dear, and to you to Ryuuzaki-kun" Sachiko said smiling at the two. Soichiro folded his newspaper and looked over at the two. "It has been awhile Yagami-san" L said in a baritone monotone voice and Soichiro was still a bit creped out with how deep Ryuuzaki's voice truly was.

"It has Ryuuzaki-kun. How are your parents doing" Soichiro asked placing the newspaper on the coffee table. "They are doing well. Quillish-san is in town at the moment as well" L said and Soichiro and Sachiko shared a smile before they faced L again. "How is he doing? You and your family should come over sometime and eat with us" Soichiro said and Sachiko nodded her head in agreement. "Perhaps" L said not knowing how busy his parents would be this week.

Raito come out of the kitchen holding an apple, and also holding five small cups of Reese's peanut butter cup for L to take. "Well be up in my room if you need us" Raito said as him and L climbed up the stairs to Raito's room.

They entered the bedroom and Raito shut the door behind him. "Your clothes are on my dresser" Raito said taking a seat on his bed with L climbing up on the bed to have a seat as well. "Would Raito-kun like to play a game of chess" L asked titling his head to the side. "Sure" Raito said placing his apple on his night stand and making his way over to the closet. The chess board was made of hard glass with white and black chess pieces as the opposing colors. Ryuuzaki had bought it for Raito sixteenth birthday.

"I am going to beat you this time" Raito said placing the board on the bed and dividing the pieces. Once they are separated L takes the black pieces and sets them up on his side of the board while Raito did his own side. The bed was firm enough to keep the board from falling over in case either Raito or L shifted sitting positions while playing the game.

The two played a game of chess that took three hours before Ryuuzaki came out the victor getting Raito's king into check. "One of these days I am going to beat you" Raito said and L grinned at Raito, "that will be the day" L said leisurely and laid down on Raito's bed still in a fetal position. Raito stood up and gathered all the pieces and put them back into the box and then moved to the closet to put the game away along with the pieces.

The clock read six o'clock and Raito started to get ready for his date. Raito removed the tie and pulled his jacket of. He hanged up both the tie and jacket before starting to un button his shirt. "Is Raito-kun letting me get a free show" L asked with his knees propped up in the air and his head hanging of the side of the bed. Raito threw his shirt at L, so it landed on Ryuuzaki's face. "That wasn't very nice Raito-kun" L said pouting and Raito put on a dark blue button up shirt. "No Ryuuzaki you don't get a free show" Raito said. "Now shut your eyes so I can take off my pants" Raito said tapping his foot on the ground impatiently.

"Is Raito-kun ashamed of a certain something" L teased looking directly at Raito's crouch area with a curious look on his face. Raito's face heated up in a blush and anger. "No I am not, and perhaps I do not want my friend ogling my goodies while I am trying to change." Raito said in an angry voice. "Ogling your goodies" L said while chuckling to himself and Raito's face heated up more. "I will kick you out" Raito said in a warning tone that threatened painful removal from the room. L stopped laughing and closed his eyes "happy" L asked and Raito made an affirmative sound before turning around and pulling his pants off.

Ryuuzaki opened one eye slightly open and got a glance at Raito's boxers. 'Red silky boxers and a nice ass' L thought and shut his eye before Raito noticed. "Is Raito-kun's favorite color red" L questioned and he heard Raito pause in his movements before loud footsteps came his way and L hit the floor quite painfully all of a sudden. Ryuuzaki glanced up to see a very mad looking Raito 'without pants on yet' L noted quite happily. "Raito-kun did not have to do that" L said rubbing his head which was dully aching. "Oh I did. No wonder Misa calls you a pervert" Raito said his voice rising slightly. L hummed before he swept his legs over Raito's and knocked the older teenager onto his butt.

"I feel like we are even now" L said and Raito rubbed his butt which was not quite score from hitting the hard floor. "If I did not have to be there in less than an hour" Raito said leaving the empty threat in the air. "That is nice for Raito-kun, but shouldn't you put on pants now" L asked staring at Raito's lower half and noticing Raito did not have hairy legs. "Does Raito-kun by any chance shave his legs" L asked and felt a punch connect with his face, and it sent his head smashing up against the side of the bed. L recovered quickly and used his legs to kick Raito in the gut which had Raito land on his back with a small thud sound. And L crawled on top of Raito.

"It isn't nice to hit people when there are only asking a question" L said in a deadpan voice as he hovered above Raito's face. Using his knees to kneel in between Raito's legs and his arms placed on either side of Raito's shoulders. Raito felt his body flush with how close L was, and wearing no pants was not helping Raito. He felt his lower stomach muscles clench and a hot feeling was beginning to start in his lower regions. Raito used his right hand to push L backwards so L was sitting on his own legs. Raito stood up quickly and was glad L had noticed his semi-hard erection. He moved to the dresser to grab a pair of black dress pants and quickly pulled them on. L stood up and grabbed his clothes from the dresser and followed Raito out the door and down the stairs. Soichiro was still sitting on the couch along with Sachiko and Sayu who were all watching a movie of some sorts.

"I have a date today so I should be home no later than eleven" Raito said and Soichiro stood up and faced the two. "Alright I will see you both later then. Have fun on your date Raito, and don't forget what I said Ryuuzaki-kun" Soichiro said and L nodded his head and said his own good byes and the two left the house.

"I forgot how much of a pervert you could be" Raito said once the two made it to the front gate and Raito shut it behind him. "Raito-kun does not seem to mind" L said and Raito rolled his eyes. "I'll see you later then Ryuuzaki" Raito said. "Have fun on your date" L said and they both knew L didn't truly mean it, but neither was going to say anything about that. The two parted ways, going in opposite directions again.

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Raito arrived at the movie theaters fifteen minutes before he was supposed to meet Misa. Five minutes went by and Raito felt Misa automatically hug him. "Misa misa is so happy that she and Raito get to go on a date again" Misa said in a sing song voice. "We should

buy the tickets now Misa" Raito said and patted her on the head for good measure. Misa let go reluctantly and the two made their way to the ticket booth, and were able to get the tickets rather fast.

"Misa misa has heard great things about this movie" Misa said once the two had taken their seats in the middle of the theater. "Misa why is it that you and Ryuuzaki don't get along" Raito asked curiously. "Because Ryuuzaki-san is always insulting Misa misa intelligence and he wants to take Raito away from Misa" Misa said hugging Raito arm close to her chest. "I will not allow that" Misa said burying her face into Raito's arm and nuzzling it like a cat. "I see, but what do you mean take me away from you" Raito asked deciding to use Misa own words. But Misa refused to elaborate and only took her head away from Raito's shoulder once the movie started.

Once the movie ended Misa said she had to go home since she had a big photo shoot the next day. She kissed Raito on the cheek and waved bye to him cheerfully before making her way home.

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The rest of the week went by uneventfully and Wednesday came around rather fast. L had already packed all the things he would need to bring with him and his parents had taken the news of him leaving quite well. They had all spent a dinner at the Yagami household and L had told them after they had gotten back home that he was going to Oxford College instead of To-oh.

L grabbed his smallest bag from his room which held a pair of blue jeans and long white sleeved shirt. He made his way out of his room and down the stairs. Watari was waiting at the bottom. "The flight is at six a.m. sharp so remember to leave the Yagami household by four thirty at the latest" Watari said and L nodded his head. "I will probably still be up" L said. "Have fun" Watari said smiling at L and Ryuuzaki nodded his head in agreement before turning and leaving the house. Both his parents were at work again and L had already said his goodbyes to them.

It was exactly eight o'clock when L made it to the Yagami house. Before he knocked on the door it was opened up by Sayu. "Welcome back Ryuuzaki" Sayu said smiling and opening the door for him. "Raito is in his room so go on up" Sayu told him and L removed his slip on sneakers before putting on the slippers and making his way up the stairs.

Ryuuzaki didn't bother knocking on Raito's door and just entered the room to find Raito sitting at his desk and reading a book. L made his way over to Raito and leaned over his shoulder. "What are you reading" L asked and Raito shut the book abruptly. "Just a law book" Raito said standing up and placing it back on his bookshelf.

"Raito-kun did not have to stop reading just because I am here" L said before sitting down on Raito's bed and laying on his back stretching like a cat. Raito stared at him like he had never seen L before. "L you stretched" Raito said in disbelief, but took a seat next to L before laying down beside him. "Even I need to strech my back muscles every so often" L said in a bored tone and Raito rolled his eyes. "You say that now but it is always surprising to see" Raito said and L laid on his side facing Raito.

"Did Raito-kun want to do anything in particular" Ryuuzaki asked and Raito turned to lay on his side facing L. "You're the one who asked to spend the night" Raito said, "I did say that" L agreed before lapsing into silence.

"Are you going to tell me what job you want to do now" Raito asked curiously. "No, I am not" L said and Raito sighed before lying on his back. "Why have you been so busy this week we barely hanged out and it is summer break before college starts" Raito said. "I have been doing a numerous amount of things, but cannot tell you" L said and Raito hid his hurt feelings and went with a neutral face.

"You are no longer a blunt person" Raito said and L Frowned at the comment. "I am still blunt but there are things I cannot tell you, and the job occupation just happens to be one of those things at the moment" L said.

"And here I thought you were going to tell me what your job was once you knew for certain" Raito said "Things change" L said resting his head on Raito's shoulder and felt Raito's left arm hug him loosely. It was a natural habit for the two, mainly to show how comfortable they were around each other. Raito's grip tightened before he continued talking. "It stills bothers me. You act like you are going somewhere without me" Raito said wearily. "Raito-kun should know I would not go anywhere without telling him for good reason" L said and Raito sighed before he let go of L and made his way to the closet.

He rummaged through his closet and came back holding the chess board and pieces. "I think it is only fair to me to get a re-match" Raito said and L sat up on the bed. "If Raito-kun wishes to lose again so soon than I am willing to let him do so" L said and Raito glared. "What makes you think I am going to lose" Raito said setting up his pieces. "Because Raito-kun has never beaten me, and I do not believe he will do so anytime soon" L said setting up his own pieces. "We'll see about that" Raito said and L made his first move.

The two stayed up until three thirty playing chess before Raito deemed he was going to fall asleep soon and needed his rest. "Raito-kun has yet to beat me" L said amused that Raito had lost three games straight. "There will be other opportunities, and I am going to fall asleep if I don't get to bed now" Raito said as he picked all the pieces up, and the board. Then he put it back in the closet before moving to his bed and getting under the covers. L got under the covers as well and laid down next to Raito. Raito was laying on his side facing L, and Ryuuzaki watched Raito steady rising and falling chest for forty minutes committing to memory the way Raito looked when sleeping since L did not know if he ever see it again. The clock read four ten in the morning.

'Only twenty minutes' L thought before he poked Raito's chest a few times and Raito woke up sleepily. "What do you want now Ryuuzaki" Raito asked rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "There is something that I have wanted to tell Raito-kun for awhile now" Ryuuzaki said not making eye connect with Raito, and moving into his usual sitting position.

"What is it" Raito asked more awake now and he sat up to get a better look at L's face since it was dark out. "I love you in the sense of romantic feelings that goes beyond friendship" L said bluntly and Raito eyes widened and his mouth opened slightly in shock. 'Perhaps he was wrong about Ryuuzaki no longer being blunt' Raito thought, How was he supposed to respond to that? Raito had not expected Ryuuzaki to ever say that. It was a joke right, Ryuuzaki was just trying to lighten the situation up since he would not tell Raito his job occupation.

"I am not lying Raito-kun, so stop thinking otherwise" L said and Raito didn't know what to do. L glanced at the clock which now read four fifteen a.m. He was going to have to leave soon. "I hope Raito-kun will forgive me for this" L said and Raito looked confused at L. "For what" Raito asked and L scooted closer to Raito and connected his lips to Raito's in a chaste kiss. Raito's eyes widened slightly before his eyes closed. He was debating if he should kiss back or not, but L pulled away and Raito's eyes re-opened.

The two stared at one another and L broke the eye connect first. Ryuuzaki moved off of the bed and grabbed the small bag he had with him.

"Where are you going" Raito asked not facing L, even though he knew L was standing at the door; Ryuuzakis hand hovering over the door knob. "It will be for the best if I leave now. This way Raito-kun can think over what I said" L said opening the door.

"I'll see you later Ryuuzaki" Raito said. "Of course, goodbye Raito-kun" L said and with that stepped out of the room and shut the door behind him. Raito let out a sigh and laid back down on his bed and looked up at the ceiling he didn't think he would be getting any more sleep tonight.

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L shut and locked the door behind him; since the Yagami's had given him a key when he was eleven saying he could use it whenever he needed it.

Watari was standing next to the car that was parked in front of the Yagami's house. "Have you said your goodbyes L" Watari asked. "I have" L said and Watari opened the back car door for L. Ryuuzaki tossed his bag on the opposite side of the car before stepping into the black Rolls Royce car. Watari shut the door and L glanced back at the house. There was a fifty fifty chance that he may never see Raito again. The

car rumbled to life and began to pull away from the house.

'Looking back was for people who have regrets' L thought, and he would not regret this choice quite yet.

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Raito had gotten no sleep that night. He got out of bed and followed his normal routine. "Where is Ryuuzaki" Sachiko asked as Raito came downstairs and didn't notice a hunched form following her son. "He said he had to go do something" Raito said vaguely and sat down at the kitchen table. Sachiko came over and handed a plate of pancakes to Raito. "To bad he would have loved having pancakes today" Sachiko said and Raito nodded his head in agreement.

"Raito you are being quieter than usual, did something happen between you and Ryuuzaki-kun" Sachiko asked and Raito looked up at his mom. "No, he just had to leave earlier than usual" Raito said smiling and Sachiko accepted the answer. "Alright dear make sure to eat all of it" Sachiko said going back into the kitchen to wash some dishes. "Just so you know your father is in his study and Sayu went out with some friends" Sachiko said from the kitchen. "Thanks for telling me and for breakfast" Raito said in a polite tone. "No problem" Sachiko said and the two lapsed into silence.

Hours went by and Raito had not contacted Ryuuzaki yet. The clock said six o'clock and Raito finally decided it was stupid for him to sit around and ponder the thing with Ryuuzaki any longer. He stood up and made his way out the door, after telling his mother where he was going. She seemed to be relived he was going.

Raito didn't know how he felt but it was something close to love. And hopefully Ryuuzaki wouldn't probe him to much until he could come up with his own conclusion.

Taking a deep breath he knocked on Ryuuzaki's door and waited for someone to answer. A moment passed and Ryuuzaki's mother opened the door. "Raito-kun it is good to see you again how have you been" Mrs. Lawliet asked him as she opened the door wider. Ryuuzaki had told Raito once that they used his mother's last name since his father had been adopted and had not felt close to his adopted parents. Their last name had come from Britain since L said his mother grew up there before moving to Japan when she was fifteen.

"I have been doing well and you Lawliet-san" Raito asked smiling. "I have been doing fine as well, but I must admit I already miss my son" Mrs. Lawliet said sadly. 'She misses her son' Raito thought. 'But she only has one son, what could she possibly mean by that unless.' Raito thought and asked the question that would tell him if he was right or wrong. "Is Ryuuzaki not home" Raito asked confused and Mrs. Lawliet looked at Raito mirroring his look. "He did not tell you" she asked hesitance in her voice like she had heard Raito wrong. "Tell me what" Raito asked curiously. "He is going to Oxford College instead of To-oh" she said calmly, and Raito smiled at her. "I was not informed on that matter" Raito told her honestly. "I apologize for Ryuuzaki not telling you it must have slipped his mind." She said and Raito made a sound of agreement.

"Thank you for your time Lawliet-san, it was nice seeing you again" Raito said and Mrs. Lawliet nodded her to. "If I hear anything from him, I will tell you" She said and Raito nodded his head in thanks before turning around and leaving.

Raito made it back to his house and slipped of his shoes in a daze. Sayu called out to him, but Raito walked by her and up to his room. Once he got there he shut his door and locked it. 'Ryuuzaki is gone' Raito thought blankly and his world began to crack.

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End of chapter 2

So what did you all think of it. Ok I do realize Raito is OOC at the end but at the same time his best friend left without directly telling him, so I think it is justified. And with the whole L telling Raito he loves him that was believable right, like something L would really do? I am pretty sure there are still a lot of grammar mistakes but I wanted to get the chapter up today and if I had to read through it one more time I was going to go crazy. I should probably find a beta.

More of Raito's thoughts on L leaving will be in the next chapter. I wanted to end this chapter with Raito learning that L was gone. And I even added a kiss and L seeing Raito in his boxers do I get credit for that?

**Somen**  
Like Udon noodles, somen are Japanese noodles made of wheat flour, but they are much thinner than Udon and Soba. Somen are usually eaten cold. (Wikipedia).

**KamiKaze girls-** are a novel and movie. I hope the reference I made to it goes well with the story, if it dose not sorry about that.

**Astrophysics** is the branch of astronomy that deals with the physics of the universe, including the physical properties (luminosity, density, temperature, and chemical composition) of celestial objects such as stars, galaxies, and the interstellar medium, as well as their interactions. The study of cosmology is theoretical astrophysics at the largest scales where Albert Einstein's general theory of relativity plays a major role.

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. And please leave a review, they make me happy and want to update faster. Thourgh the next chapter won't be up until sometime next week. I have to write a final paper and a rough draft this week and that is going to take me ahwlie. But please review, pretty please with a cherry on top.

Rain angst


	3. Sinking in

Title- The Choices we make

Title- The Choices we make

Pairing-Raito/Misa will be gone soon enough L/Raito eventually

Warning- OOC'ness

Talking ""

Thinking ''

Flashbacks in _italics_

I am really sorry it took me long to update. Between work and school I had no time to write at all and sorry about giving you all false hope. I myself hate it and feel quite bad for doing that to you all. With the poll I am so happy most of you don't want Raito owning the death note. 'Cause that would have been a bitch to write and as some of you pointed out would of taken away from the fun angst times. Anyway hope the chapter was worth the wait for you all.

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Raito sighed as he lay down on the bed, and buried his face into the soft pillow.

'More like Ryuuzaki's pillow' he thought blankly, since it was Ryuuzaki who usually slept on the left side of the bed. L had deliberately left Raito behind.

'There were signs' Raito thought lying on his side. Ryuuzaki would have never asked if Raito would miss him unless it was something important, and even though he had gotten a feeling he had ignored it, and he truly regretted that choice.

'I know he meant what he said, but leaving right after that was the coward's way out. And what could he possibly be doing that is better than being with me' Raito thought moodily. He turned around to face the outside of his sliding glass door.

'Maybe he was just lying to me all these years. I know that Ryuuzaki lies, and perhaps it wasn't really any different with me. Probably easier to lie to me since he knows I would believe him. He probably didn't even mean what he said about loving me' Raito thought bitterly. He was more upset at the idea of Ryuuzaki lying to him about loving him, than Ryuuzaki just leaving without telling him the reason.

'The pillow smells like strawberry shampoo. Ryuuzaki loved sweet things' Raito thought idly, enjoying the smell, and buried his head deeper into the pillow and sighed inwardly.

It wasn't right that L had left him, and now he felt a black void within himself that would not be filled again until he saw Ryuuzaki again.

If Misa had just up and left it would not have bothered Raito at all, and it was a shame that Misa was one the one who remained and not Ryuuzaki.

'"_I love you in the sense of romantic feelings that goes beyond friendship" _Was the whole thing a lie? Something Ryuuzaki had said because he had an early flight and did not wish to tell Raito where he was really going. When Ryuuzaki had told him he loved him that of course he had been surprising, but the feeling had not repulsed him like he first thought. And kissing Ryuuzaki had felt as naturally as breathing.' An everyday occurrence and one Raito knew he would not grow bored of. School got repetitive fast, but with Ryuuzaki it had never felt repetitive, and whenever Raito talked to him it was like a breath of fresh air. He did have other friends but none of them could hold a candle to Ryuuzaki. Not one of the other friends had ever made him feel so at ease and not having to cover up his intelligence just so other people wouldn't feel inferior, even through they were.

'But Ryuuzaki left me without a backward glance' Raito thought sitting up on the bed.

He glared at the pillow like it was the pillow's fault for Ryuuzaki leaving.

'I knew he leave one day, but I at least thought he take me along' Raito thought bitterly, and grabbed the pillow roughly before throwing it against the glass door and the pillow landed on the floor softly.

'If Ryuuzaki thinks that saying goodbye to me in that context is going to excuse him, he is sadly mistaken' Raito thought angrily. Taking a deep breath, Raito re lay back down on the bed and blew his bangs out of his eyes.

The anger dissolving as quickly as it had came.

'It's pointless to be angry, it's not like Ryuuzaki is going to show up and tell me why he left' Raito thought dully. His body sprawled out so he was horizontal on the bed and not vertical.

A soft knock was heard before Sayu voice called out to him.

"Raito dinner is ready" Sayu said and Raito got up from the bed and moved to unlock the door. Sayu was looking at him worriedly and a question on the verge of leaving her mouth.

"Let's go down then," Raito said smiling reassuringly at his sister.

"Are you okay now?" Sayu asked still looking like she wanted ask something.

"Yes, now let's go down before it gets cold" Raito said and started walking down the hall.

Sayu glanced into Raito's room and noticed a pillow missing, she moved into the room to see it lying on the floor.

'Why it is there, did nii-san throw it?' Sayu thought confused. She had never seen her brother be angry enough to throw anything expect in Ryuuzaki's case, but never any of his own possessions. Moving out of the room silently, Sayu walked down the stairs to see everyone sitting at the table, expect her father who was working another case again. "Sorry 'bout that" Sayu said happily and sat down next to Raito.

"How is summer vacation so far" Sachiko asked her children curiously.

"It's going great. Kikyou and I are going to the mall tomorrow to get Ryuuga Hideki's latest album" Sayu said excitedly.

"What about you nii-san are you and Ryuuzaki going to do something?" Sayu asked turning her attention to her brother.

"No, he seems to be busy again" Raito said offhandedly.

"What is he doing? It is summer vacation, and it is not like he has to do any homework since you guys are going to college" Sayu said looking confused.

"He already went off to college," Raito said in a tone that stated he did not want anyone to ask any more questions.

"What he already went, did he leave you behind?" Sayu asked surprised and Sachiko gave her daughter a disapproving look. Raito stood up abruptly and Sayu and Sachiko looked at him slightly surprised.

"I'm not hungry, but thanks for dinner" Raito said and with that left the table not having eaten anything.

"You shouldn't have said that Sayu" Sachiko said in a low voice.

"It slipped out. Do you think nii-san will be ok?" Sayu asked looking at the stairs concerned.

"I'm sure he will be, but we should give him some space for now. I will ask Lawliet-san what happened tomorrow," Sachiko said starting to eat again.

"I think the two may have had an argument" Sayu said in a low voice incase Raito came back down for some reason.

"Why do you say that?" Sachiko asked interested in her daughter's response.

"You know how Ryuuzaki usually sleeps on the left side of the bed," Sayu said and Sachiko nodded her head yes.

"Well it looked like Raito threw that pillow against the wall" Sayu said glancing at the stairs again.

"I'm sure it is nothing," Sachiko said.

"But Raito willingly threw something that was in his room. He never does that and he left the table just now. It has to be more than Ryuuzaki just leaving." Sayu said taking a bite of her salad.

"It might be, but for now let's wait and don't ask your brother any questions." Sachiko said and Sayu looked ready to protest.

"Wait until tomorrow at least I can ask Lawliet-san what happened and we can go from there" Sachiko said and Sayu nodded her head in agreement.

Raito let out a sigh as he re-entered his room.

'Away from prying younger sisters' he thought relived.

'But at the same time back in memory lane' Raito thought and couldn't help but think he was in a lose-lose situation.

He took off his shirt and pants and folded them neatly before placing them in his hamper, and then going to put on indigo pajama pants. Pulling the covers back Raito got into bed, and waited for sleep to claim him.

"_Come on Raito-kun, we have to go see the new neighbors" Sachiko said walking into the living room where Raito was sitting on the couch and reading a paper he had gotten in class the day before. It was two o'clock in the afternoon. _

"_Do we have to go?" Raito asked looking curiously at his mother. _

"_Of course, we should welcome new neighbors who live close by, even if they do not live on the same street" Sachiko said smiling at Raito. _

"_And?" Raito said knowing there was something more to it. She couldn't get anything by her son. _

"_I also heard that they have a son your age" Sachiko said, and Raito stood up from the couch and waited for his mom to join him. _

"_Ready to go" Sachiko asked holding a small basket in her head that had some brownies. 'Still fresh from the oven' Raito noted idly. She moved closer to Raito and took his hand before turning around and walking past the couch to exit the front door. The two moved outside and Sachiko let go of Raito's hand to lock the door before re-taking her son's hand and the two were off. _

"_Where is Sayu" Raito asked as they walked down the street. _

"_She has a play date with Kikyou" Sachiko said. _

_For the rest of the way Sachiko made small talk on what the new neighbors could be like and Raito said nothing. The two made it to the medium sized house and Sachiko let go of Raito's hand to knock on the door. A moment passed before someone answered it. _

_The door was opened wide enough for the other person to be seen. _

"_Hello there, I am Sachiko Yagami, and this is my son Raito-kun. We have come to welcome you into the neighborhood" Sachiko said pleasantly and the other women smiled. She had a petite form, and her hair was a hazelnut brown, but she had wider eyes and it was obvious that she was not Japanese. _

"_Thank you so much for coming. Come in, and your son can go meet mine." The woman said, excited. She was fluent in Japanese. She opened the door wider and let the two in. They walked into the front hallway and took off their shoes, and put on some green slippers. Boxes were everywhere and the lady blushed in embarrassment before talking. "I apologize for the mess, but because we just moved in, things are not in order yet," She said nervously. _

"_It is fine, and already seems to be such a lovely home," Sachiko told her and she smiled in thanks. _

"_I just realized I have not told you my name yet. It is Jenny Lawliet," She said bowing slightly. _

"_A pleasure" Sachiko said bowing back in return. _

"_The stairs are right here, if you take them up and go to the last door at the end of the hallway you should find my son" Jenny said and Raito nodded his head in understanding. _

_Sachiko placed her hand on Raito's back and encouraged him to go up the stairs. _

"_Thank you for telling me" Raito said smiling politely and moving up the stairs gracefully. _

"_Such a polite son you have" Jenny said as she and Sachiko made their way to the kitchen. _

"_Raito-kun is polite to everyone. What is your son like" Sachiko asked, making sure it didn't sound like she was bragging. _

"_Well Ryuuzaki, my son, is very anti-social" Jenny said worriedly. _

"_He is shy?" Sachiko asked, as the two entered the kitchen._

"_Nothing like that, he just doesn't like talking to people who are not as smart as him" Jenny said truthfully. _

"_I'm sure him and Raito-kun will become great friends, Raito is quite smart for his age as well" Sachiko said with no hint of bragging in her voice. _

"_That's a relief, would you like some tea?" Jenny asked turning to Sachiko. _

"_That would be wonderful, thank you," Sachiko said sitting down at the kitchen table and she and Jenny continued their small talk. _

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_Raito moved up the stairs steadily and couldn't help but wonder what Lawliet's son would be like. His feet padded against the hard ware floor, and Raito finally made it to the end of the hallway. He knocked on the closed mahogany door and waited for an acknowledgement. A small 'come in' was heard and Raito opened the door slowly. _

_The first thing he saw was a boy his age sitting on a bed directly in front of Raito. His hair was messed up looking like it hadn't been brushed in weeks, and he wore a lose fitting blue shirt with dark blue jeans. His legs were against his chest and he was playing a game of chess against himself. Raito moved closer, shutting the door behind him, and standing besides the bed. _

"_Are you playing chess?" Raito questioned looking at the board. _

"_Yes" the boy said not looking up at Raito. _

"_Wouldn't it be more interesting to play against someone?" Raito said as more of a challenge than a question. Ryuuzaki's hand stopped inches away from a pawn he was about to take and looked over at Raito. _

_Ryuuzaki took in Raito's appearance. The boy was wearing a maroon shirt and brown jeans. His hair was a dusty brown, and the shirt helped show a darker brown color of the boy's eyes. _

"_I'm Yagami, Raito" Raito said smiling at the other boy before he glanced over at the board. _

"_Lawliet, Ryuuzaki" he responded in a monotone voice. _

"_I was just about done anyways, you may take a seat across from me" L said and Raito stepped out of the slippers, and sat on the bed facing Ryuuzaki. _

"_Where did you move from" Raito asked gathering up the white pieces while Ryuuzaki grabbed the black. _

"_England" He said disinterested, and Raito made a humming sound. _

"_Did the area you live in rain often" Raito asked finishing putting his pawn into the last place. _

"_Everyday" Ryuuzaki said finishing setting up his side. Ryuuzaki moved his pawn two spaces on white and waited for Raito to make his move. _

"_What school will you be attending" Raito asked as he moved his own pawn two spaces on black. _

"_Sakura elementary" Ryuuzaki said using another pawn to move further up on the board. "I go there as well, perhaps we will have some classes together" Raito said flashing Ryuuzaki a smile before making his next move. _

"_Would Yagami-kun want to be in the same class as me?" Ryuuzaki asked focusing his attention on the board._

_Raito glanced up at Ryuuzaki before his eyes moved to the board. _

"_I would, because you seem like a very interesting person. No one else I know knows how to play chess." Raito said rearranging his legs so that they were spread out on either side of the board. _

"_Also you can call me Raito-kun. If you want I can be your friend" Raito said in an honest voice. He wasn't sure why he wanted to be friends with a person who sat so weird, but he was drawn to Ryuuzaki, and he might finally have a friend who was worth being around._

_Ryuuzaki glanced up at Raito and the two met each other's eyes. Raito's being sincere and Ryuuzaki's not giving any emotion away. _

"_I would like that. Raito-kun is about ninety percent as smart as me" Ryuuzaki said, not breaking eye connects. _

"_What is the other ten percent?" Raito asked not knowing if he wanted to hear it or not. "We have only just met and because I just took one of Raito-kun's pawns I believe that makes me the smarter one at the moment" Ryuuzaki said smirking lightly. Holding up Raito's pawn and moving it from side to side before placing it down on the side of the board. Raito scowled a little, and then a small smirk graced his own lips as he took one of Ryuuzaki's pawns. _

"_Have the percentages risen?" Raito asked moving the pawn from side to side like Ryuuzaki had just done. L pouted, and Raito found it cute, but didn't say anything. He placed the pawn down and the two continued playing. _

"_They have risen by a point," Ryuuzaki said, and Raito just smirked without saying anything. _

_The two finished playing a game with Ryuuzaki as the victor and Raito fought of being tired. _

"_If Raito-kun is tired he should go to sleep" Ryuuzaki said shoving all the pieces on the board and putting the board under his bed, before coming back to sit on the bed. _

"_You put it under your bed?" Raito said shocked and L rolled his eyes. _

"_Most children are messy and I am no exception." L said and Raito laid down on the bed that only had a bed cover and a sheet on it. Boxes were still scattered across the floor. _

"_How long have you been in this house?" Raito asked feeling his eyes to start to droop. "Two days" Ryuuzaki said and pulled the sheet up over Raito since it had been hanging half way off the bed. _

"_You should sleep too" Raito said tiredly. _

"_I am only mildly tired" Ryuuzaki said remaining in his seated position. _

"_Do you have anything else better to do?" Ratio asked raising an eyebrow. L sighed as he lay down as well. Raito gave him a small victory grin, before promptly passing out and Ryuuzaki soon following. _

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_"It is already five" Jenny said looking over at the clock surprised. Sachiko looked at the clock to._

_"Oh my, I really should get going then. We should continue this conversation another time," Sachiko said and Jenny nodded her head in agreement. The two stood up and made their way over to the stairs. _

_"I'm surprised we didn't hear the boys," Sachiko said following Jenny up the stairs. _

_"They probably fell asleep," Jenny said and Sachiko did know it was past her son's naptime. _

_Their feet padded softly against the floor and Jenny opened the door to Ryuuzaki's room slowly. She stepped into the room with Sachiko behind her. _

_Raito was lying vertical on the bed with his back firmly on the mattress. Ryuuzaki's head was on Raito's stomach and he was curled up into a fetal position. _

_"The two look comfy." Jenny said smiling at the scene. _

_"I have never seen Raito-kun be so comfortable around anyone his age before" Sachiko said surprised her son was letting another kid's head rest on his stomach and looking content. _

_Jenny pulled out her cell phone and took a picture with it. _

_"Would you like a copy?" Jenny asked showing the picture to Sachiko. _

"_That would be wonderful, please give me a copy when you can" Sachiko said smiling. "Of course, I guess we should wake them up" Jenny said sadly. Sachiko moved to the other side of the bed and shook Raito awake. His eyes blinked a few times before meeting his mother's stare. _

"_We should go soon," Sachiko whispered to her son, not wanting to break the quiet atmosphere. _

"_Okay" Raito said and lifted his arm up so he could put his hand in Ryuuzaki's hair. _

"_Oi Ryuuzaki wake up" Raito said shaking Ryuuzaki's head slightly. L opened his and met with Raito's. L grabbed Raito's hand and pulled it out of his hair before sitting up and releasing Raito's hand. _

"_Make sure to come over and visit anytime you want" Jenny said happily. _

"_Would it be all right if I came over tomorrow" Raito asked sitting up as well. _

_L smiled lightly and Jenny nodded her head in agreement. _

"_That would be fine" Jenny said and Sachiko nodded her head in agreement. Raito smiled at the two and slid off the bed, _

"_I'll see you tomorrow Ryuuzaki" Raito said slipping on the slippers and giving a small smile to L. _

"_Of course, perhaps Raito-kun will actually beat me in chess one day" L said lightly. _

"_I will" Raito said determinedly and him and Sachiko said their final goodbyes before leaving the house. _

"_Did you have fun?" Sachiko asked her son, holding his hand and gripped the basket handle a little tighter. _

"_I did, Ryuuzaki is really interesting" Raito said happily. _

"_I'm sure the two of you will always be best friends," Sachiko said smiling at her son. _

"_I think so too, and this way I can always have someone with me" Raito said quietly. Sachiko didn't say anything, but she squeezed her son's hand in agreement. The rest of the way home the two walked in silence. _

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Raito awoke from the flashback and glared out the glass door. It wasn't fair he was remembering Ryuuzaki while he slept. He was supposed to be able to get away from the insomniac not remember how the two first met.

'It's not like he's dead. Ryuuzaki just left me behind' Raito thought bitterly and glanced over at the clock it read three o'clock a.m.

He probably should go to sleep, but he was no longer tired. Sighing lightly to himself, Raito stood up and made his way over to the desk and sat down at it. He pulled a blank sheet of paper out and grabbed a pen of his desk and debated if he should write Ryuuzaki a letter.

'This is ridiculous he has only been gone for a day' Raito thought standing up and going back to his bed.

'Only one freaking day and I already seem like a desperate girl wanting to write a letter to her boyfriend who went on a family trip' Raito thought bitterly and with that thought, fell asleep ten minutes later.

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"Good morning" Raito said as he entered the kitchen to see Sayu and his mother sitting at the kitchen table.

"You seem more cheerful today, did something happen" Sayu asked curiously.

"No, but doesn't mean I can't be happy" Raito said and Sayu grinned

"Onii-san woke up on the good side of the bed today" Sayu said happily and Raito nodded his head in agreement.

"Are you going to do anything today" Sachiko asked aiming her question at Raito.

"I am going to go to the book store and get a few books I have thought about reading" Raito said and Sachiko nodded her head.

"I'm glad you are doing something today" Sachiko said and Raito smiled at his mother.

"I have to get going now since I have to meet Kikyou at the mall," Sayu said putting her empty plates in sink and going to the door to put her shoes on.

"See you all later" she said and left the house.

A few moments later Sachiko finished as well and stood up from the table to put her dirty dishes in the sink as well. She washed her and Sayu's dishes before coming back out ten minutes later.

"Raito, are you really alright? I heard from Lawliet-san that Ryuuzaki-kun went to Oxford College without telling you" Sachiko said hugging her son lightly.

"I'm fine, I was just surprised that is all" Raito said pleasantly.

"Are you sure, you can tell me what really upset you. I know Ryuuzaki-kun leaving is a great part in that, but I think there is something else as well" Sachiko said concerned.

"I promise that I will be fine" Raito said turning his head so his mom could see him smile at her reassuringly.

"If you say so, but if you ever need to talk come talk to me" Sachiko said hugging Raito a little bit tighter before letting him go.

"I'm going to go to the book store now, thanks for breakfast," Raito said and Sachiko took his dirty dishes before she walked back into the kitchen.

"Have fun at the book store" Sachiko said and Raito gathered his wallet and left the house as well.

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The hotel in Germany was expensive but was well suited for the case L was taking on. "Watari will you bring me some of those files about Nicholas Rian, and Kaspar Faden." Ryuuzaki asked sitting on a small green padded chair, with a cup of tea in one hand and a document of the newest murder victim.

"Of course" Watari said and moved over to the coffee that was on the other side of the room and picked up the two files; he made his way back over to L and handed him the folder

"Do you need anything else?" Watari asked politely.

"No that will be all" L said putting the small glass on a mini table that was right next to him and opened up the file on his main suspect.

Balder Onslow a man in his mid thirties with brown hair and blue eyes. As a child he liked to torture small animals. Eventually it moved up to bigger animals. He was the perfect candidate for the recent case of serial murders. The serial killer let animal prints on the victims as his signature.

L grabbed the laptop off the ground and began to type up the profile of the killer, and having Watari give orders to the other policeman who was focusing on the case. It was a simple task, but the latest victim had left few clues as to whom the attacker was. And then the other victims seem to lack a common thread, and L started going through who everyone else know to see if there was a common person.

Balder Onslow knew all the victims. Each one had somehow owned Balder money, and each one went over today to pay it back.

Ryuuzaki sighed slightly as he did all he could for the night and still had some four hours before Watari would go to the police station and L would be able to speak through the computer, and tell the police he found the common thread in all the murders. Know they had to interview Balder and see what his alibi was for the night of the twenty-seven murder victims. Torturing it out of Balder would be much easier since he highly doubted the man would recall all twenty-seven murders.

Watari came back into the room and placed a piece of lemon pie on the small table. "Thank you Watari" L said digging the fork into the pie and taking a bit.

"Ryuuzaki I know I don't have to tell you this again, but you should remember the only people you can connect on the outside is your parents and no one else" Watari said regret seeping into his tone.

"I know and it is probably for the best that I do not talk to Raito again," L said placing the fork down and standing up.

"It would not be a good idea for me to have any feelings. There is a 65 percent chance that it would end badly if I got involved in a case and still have connections with Yagami-kun could cause me to screw up. My judgment could be impaired because of it. I will try my best not to make any connect with him," L said in a monotone voice staring outside of the glass windows.

"I'm sorry you are losing your only friend Ryuuzaki" Quillish said placing a hand on L's shoulder and squeezed it lightly before letting go.

"Will that be all than L?" Watari asked and L nodded his head.

"You may retire for the night" L said starring blankly out of the window.

He heard Watari walk out of the room and L stood up from the chair and made his way over to look out of the hotel window. The city lights were bright, but not nearly as much as Tokyo's.

'At least the feeling isn't festering anymore' L thought blandly not at all thrilled with the situation. The only friend he would ever have would now hate him.

'Perhaps that is for the best, I do not believe Yagami-kun should forgive me. I left him behind without a backwards glance. I should just let him hate me. Raito-kun is very good at expressing anger' L thought slightly amused by the fact.

'I'll just bury my feeling's for Raito and make sure they never come back out' L thought and nodded his head in agreement.

He would take over the full personality as L, and bury his Ryuuzaki side deep within himself. To function as the best detective in the world his clients would have to see him as a computer. A system that never made mistakes and displayed no emotions at all, he would earn more respect this way.

Emotions got people killed, but being L the greatest detective in the world would make him immortal and being Ryuuzaki Lawliet would get him killed.

The decision was easy and killing the human half of himself really wouldn't be that hard, since he had been working on doing that for years. High school had been a wonderful way to practice.

L faced toward the piles of documents speared out across the floor in an orderly fashion. He knew where each victim profile was and who it was. The case would be ending soon all evidence pointed to Balder and they just needed either fingerprints or a confession before Balder would be put away in jail.

'These cases are going to have to get more difficult if I want to forget Yagami-kun' L thought and grabbed his piece of lemon pie and resumed eating its sugary goodness.

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The rest of summer passed by quickly and the fall came around with the introduction ceremony for To-oh. Raito sat in the first row waiting to be called up to give his introduction speech and he didn't want to be there. It wasn't right that he was sitting there with classmates who may have gotten into the prestigious college but none of them were Ryuuzaki. He was supposed to be sitting next to Raito and making teasing comments about how Raito's speech was girly, but Ryuuzaki wasn't there.

The spot next to him was instead filled by a girl who kept glancing at him and blushing. 'Another fan girl' Raito thought flatly. This situation wasn't right; it wasn't supposed to be like this. Ryuuzaki should be sitting next to him not some girl who looked ready to start small talk. It was all wrong and Raito could do nothing to change it.

"Now would Raito Yagami please come up to the stage and give his speech?" The president of To-Oh said kindly. Raito stood up and made his way up the stage and stood in front of everyone. A charming smile graced his lips and everyone in the auditorium was quiet as they waited for Raito to talk.

The word spilled from his mouth gracefully with everyone in the auditorium enticed by his speech.

'The speech Ryuuzaki was supposed to recite after me' Raito thought during a pause in the speech. It ended and he threw another charming smile to the audience before he walked off the stage and made his way back to his seat.

The sound of another's footsteps was supposed to be behind him, but there was nothing and it was not right that Ryuuzaki was not there.

'He should be here making comments about how corny the speech was. Ryuuzaki shouldn't just be gone' Raito thought taking his seat again. His eyes moved to the seat where the girl was and not Ryuuzaki.

'She shouldn't be there. This is Ryuuzaki's seat not hers' Raito thought but withheld the anger he felt swelling up in his chest.

'No use getting mad at the girl, it is not her fault Ryuuzaki left' Raito thought and with that calmed down. His eyes refocused on the stage.

He did not believe that Ryuuzaki had gone to another college; the two had talked for years abut attending the same college and within the course of a week Raito highly doubted that Ryuuzaki had just changed his mind and left without telling him. There was a reason, but unless Ryuuzaki told him there was no way of knowing. It would probably be years before he knew if the two of them kept going at this rate.

Mrs. Lawliet had told him that Ryuuzaki was doing fine, but that was it. She never told him that Ryuuzaki said sorry for leaving without telling, which Raito doubted he would have, but she also never told him that her son had told her to tell him specifically hi or ask how Raito was doing.

Ryuuzaki had made no form of connect with Raito at all. He had spent the last few months waiting for a text message or an e-mail that at least said hi, but nothing from Ryuuzaki ever came. The only text messages he got where from Misa wanting more dates, and from lesser friends asking if he wanted to hang out.

Not one message had ever been from Ryuuzaki.

'How could Ryuuzaki just tell me he loved me, leave and then not even send me any messages? It's not right he could have told me something' Raito thought with a blank face the whole time. No need to let anyone know his inner turmoil.

The introduction ceremonies soon ended and Raito stood up with the rest of his classmates to leave.

"Umm, I was wondering if you want to go get some coffee," the girl who had been sitting next to him asked.

"I'm sorry, but I am meeting up with my girlfriend" Raito told her giving the girl an apologetic smile.

"Oh, maybe I will see you around campus then" she said smiling nervously and then hurrying away.

Raito sighed inwardly, it had been a lie. Misa was in Osaka doing a fashion shoot for a teen magazine. He was not quite sure which one, but did not care, for it was of no importance to him.

Taking the metro to the college was the quickest way and Raito hurried to make sure he made the next one. He didn't want to get lost in thought while standing in the subway station. As soon as he stepped onto the platform the metro pulled up and Raito stepped into it. It wasn't a rush hour, but most of the seats were taken. A seat was unoccupied in the middle of the cart and Raito sat down, as soon as he sat down the metro pulled away from the station.

His father had not gotten out of work and Raito was relieved about that. At the moment, he did not want to have to deal with Sayu sending him pitying looks, since she seemed to catch on to how much he really did miss Ryuuzaki. He played it down in front of his family and told them that getting into Oxford was quite an accomplishment and that even through the two would not be attending the same college he was still genuine happy for Ryuuzaki.

At times his mom would throw him pitying looks as well, but Sayu always did whenever college was bought up. He really wish she stop, it was only making the situation worse. Because her looks always had the same meaning and Raito did not know how much more of those looks he could take before admitting to his family that he may indeed be in love with his best friend who had left him behind. And that Ryuuzaki hurt him a lot more than he was willingly to show.

No he would just have to learn a way to get around Sayu's looks. He be damned if he ever admitted that aloud to his family.

The metro came to a stop and Raito stood up and made his way off of it quickly, not wanting the doors to shut on him. Once he was safely off Raito walked back home with his head held high and looking perfectly calm. If he didn't have such a strong sense of justice he would of gone into the acting the world.

He opened the front door to his house and stepped in. Slipping of his shoes and putting on the slippers Raito made his way into the kitchen to grab an apple before going up to his room.

"Welcome back Raito-kun, how did your speech go?" Sachiko asked from the kitchen table, Mrs. Lawliet sat across from her sipping some green tea.

"It went fine everyone seemed to enjoy it" Raito told his mother pleasantly.

"Always nice to see you Lawliet-san" Raito said bowing slightly.

"You don't have to be so formal Raito-kun I have known you since you were five" Jenny said waving the idea of being polite to her off.

"Old habits die hard" Raito said chuckling slightly.

"I'm sure they do. A shame that Ryuuzaki couldn't have gone to To-Oh; don't get me wrong I am happy he got into Oxford, but it would have been nice to see the two of you continue your schooling together" Jenny said wistfully.

"I agree, but as long as Ryuuzaki is happy at Oxford then I don't mind. Have you spoken to him lately" Raito asked hiding the eagerness in his voice.

"Yes I have. He said that school is going well, but can be quite boring since it is not challenging enough" Jenny said laughing at her son's antics of not being challenged enough even through he was going to a prestigious school.

"I see I am glad that his schooling is going well," Raito said pleasantly.

"I am happy for him to. You know I find it odd that he never asks about you, or tells me to tell you something" Jenny said looking up at the ceiling in deep thought.

"He is probably just busy with schoolwork I am sure it just slips his mind" Raito said turning around and heading for the stairs.

"He isn't the type to do that. At times Ryuuzaki can have an amazing memory" Jenny said quietly.

"Did you two really not get into a fight before he left" Jenny asked turning to Raito. He turned around smiling lightly.

"I promise we did not get into fight" Raito reassured Jenny easily.

"Next time he calls I will ask about it" Jenny said,

"That isn't necessary" Raito told her politely.

"It is no trouble at all and I will be more than happy to find out why he has stopped talking to you" Jenny told him earnestly.

"There is a good chance that even if you ask he will not tell you. I really do appreciate the offer, but I would like to talk to him about it myself" Raito said somewhat pleadingly. "All right, but if you change your mind tell me" Jenny said and Raito agreed before turning back around and heading upstairs.

It was so easy to put a mask on; no one was ever able to see through it. At times like these Raito couldn't help but wonder if he truly loved or hated his perfected mask.

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A week passed by and Jenny sat by the phone waiting for it to ring. Ryuuzaki always called every two weeks to tell her he was doing fine and asking how things back home were doing.

"He will call don't worry so much" Hatori said taking his wife hands and squeezing them slightly.

"I know but he is pushing his only real friend away and it worries me," Jenny said.

"He may not want to be close to Raito-kun right now, since he is so far away from home" Hatori said and Jenny gave him a skeptical look.

"We both know that is a bunch of BS" Jenny said and Hatori shrugged his shoulders.

The phone rang at exactly eight o'clock and Jenny picked it up.

"Hello" she asked waiting to hear if it was her son or not.

"Okaa-san everything is going fine" Ryuuzaki monotone voice said.

"That's great Ryuu-chan. Your father and I have been doing great. Are you going to come home for winter break?" Jenny questioned happily.

"I am not sure if I will be able to, but we should talk about it later since it is still a few months away" Ryuuzaki said in a bored tone.

"Of course, you are right after all" Jenny said and she could imagine her son smirking at the comment.

"Hold on a second dear" Jenny said and covered the mouthpiece.

"Hatori can you please go make me some tea," Jenny asked and Hatori nodded his head. "Tell Ryuuzaki that I say hi" Hatori said kissing Jenny on the cheek and leaving the room.

"Your father says hi as well dear," Jenny said bringing the mouthpiece back up.

"Tell him I say the same," L said.

"I will, is there anyone else you would like me to tell that to" Jenny questioned innocently.

"No there is not," L said in a monotone voice.

The phone was quiet for a bit longer and L heard his mother sigh from the other end of the line.

"I won't pry since Raito-kun asked me not to, but Ryuuzaki do not lose the only real friend you have ever had. I want to see you happy" Jenny said concerned.

"I will try" L said and knew it was a lie and could tell his mother believed so as well from the small sigh he heard from her again.

"I will talk to you later than Okaa-san tell dad I also say bye" L asked.

"Of course, talk to you later Ryuu-chan" Jenny said smiling. After that comment the phone line went dead.

"How are your parents doing" Watari asked from besides L.

"They are both doing fine" L said flatly.

"That is good news and Raito-kun" Watari asked sounding hesitant in asking.

"He will live" L said and with that stood up from the new hotel chair he was in and made his way over to the living room to throw himself into his newest case.

"Would you like anything to eat," Watari asked before L disappeared out of sight. "Strawberry cheesecake" L said not even pausing and walked into the living room sitting on the floor and hunching over the scenes from the newest crime scene.

If he stopped eating whenever Raito's name came up he would never get over the older boy and soon enough he be able to get over Raito. That would be a greater accomplishment then solving the murder cases he worked on. Not seeing Raito or being around the places the two had been together was quite helpful.

What was in the past should stay in the past. His past with Raito no longer held any future for the two and he kept telling himself it was for the best. Know if he could only get his Ryuuzaki side to believe that as well.

Watari came in holding a slice of strawberry cheesecake with a cup of green tea. He placed it besides L and left the room quietly. He didn't need distractions from his newest case and was glad that the case and cheesecake was helping him throw himself into work and not having to come back out for awhile.

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The first day of school came and Raito was not looking forward to it. A few of the friends he had made in high school got into To-oh as well and Raito continued to talk to them.

"I'm surprised you're not hanging out with Ryuuzaki" Shin said looking around for a black mop of hair.

"I told you he went to Oxford" Raito said for the thousandth time. He was getting tired of having to tell people where Ryuuzaki was supposed to be.

"Still man you two were almost inseparable. If I hadn't met your girlfriend I would have sworn you two were gay for each other" Shin teased, but his voice held a serious note under it.

"You and everyone else" Raito said offhandedly.

"How is your girlfriend, she has one sweet ass" Shin said and Raito rolled his eyes. "Fine, I think she is coming back from Osaka in a couple of days" Raito said nonchalant. "Really you're not going to tell me to not look at your girlfriend's ass" Shin said looking at Raito skeptical.

"I don't really care, through you shouldn't stare at girls butts as much as you do. It is the reason you don't have a girlfriend," Raito said shrugging his shoulders.

"Man most guys would be pissed that I dare make a comment about their girlfriends butt and you don't care. Only got eyes for Ryuuzaki then" Shin said elbowing Raito in the ribs. Raito felt his eyebrow twitch and his face heat up from the remark.

"Holy crap man I was kidding" Shin said laughing as the two walked to their next class. "This is not blushing, it is from surpassing my anger from you" Raito said flatly and speed up his walking.

"Come on I was kidding, jeez you can act like such a girl at times. I bet you'd be the uke in a relationship," Shin said catching up to Raito.

"I do not act like a girl," Raito said facing Shin and crossing his arms over his chest. "Sure and why didn't you admit to not being the uke?" Shin asked raising an eyebrow and Raito scowled at him.

"I know that I would not be the submissive one in a relationship and felt no need to justify it to you" Raito said uncrossing his arms.

"Whatever man you're clearly in denial, but I shall be the bigger man and drop it" Shin said proudly. Raito didn't feel the need to say anything to that and kept his mouth shut. "Words of advice through dump your girlfriend and let me date her. If you're not interested then don't lead someone on" Shin said seriously.

"I'll think about it" Raito said and Shin grinned.

"See even us less intelligent people can say smart things every so often" Shin said grinning from ear to ear.

"I guess so," Raito said and Shin knew it wasn't meant to insult him.

"One more word of advice, solve what ever issues you have with Ryuuzaki. It is obvious you two are closer than friends, so figure out whatever the hell it is and make up already. And don't give me that crap about him being in the United Kingdoms. Talk on the phone, or text message, but figure it out already so I don't have to hear about you whine and bitch about it later" Shin said.

"If I can get him to talk to me then sure and I do not whine about him being gone" Raito said wanting to figure that out as well.

"Good now let us enter the wonderful class of criminology 101," said Shin walking into the classroom and taking a seat in the back. Raito sat next to him and waited for the class to start.

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Raito's phone rang once he got home from school a couple days later.

"Hello" Raito said waiting for the person on the other line to talk.

"Raito why haven't you called Misa-Misa while she was away" Misa said in a pouting voice.

"I apologize Misa, but I got distracted" Raito said vaguely.

"You were hanging out with Ryuuzaki the whole time weren't you. You have been having an affair while Misa-Misa is a way" Misa said sounding close to tears.

"No I have not. Ryuuzaki left toward the beginning of summer" Raito said flatly.

"Really Misa is so relieved" she said happily.

"Look can we stop talking about Ryuuzaki" Raito said getting fed up with everyone. They just had to keep bringing him up.

"Misa-Misa completely agrees" Misa said and Raito could imagine her shaking her head vigorously in agreement.

"Misa-Misa just got back, we should go on a date today" Misa said and Raito found himself agreeing.

"So meet me at the park at six and we can go see the old romantic movie they are playing tonight" Misa said excitedly.

"Sure" Raito said and the two hanged up.

Six o'clock came and the two met up at the entrance of the park.

"I'm so happy to see my Raito again," Misa said throwing her arms around Raito's waist and hugging him tightly. She was wearing a short denim mini skirt with a black tank top. "It is nice to see you to Misa" Raito said placing his hands on her shoulders and pushing her back slightly.

"Let's go find a spot before all the good ones are taken" Misa said dragging Raito to a small tree that was at the very end of the wide opening. Most of the other couples sat in the clearing and the big screen was attached to a small stage that was done for outside musicals every so often.

Misa sat down against the back of the tree and Raito sat a few inches away from her. "Misa-Misa had so much fun in Osaka and their accents were just so cute. A little kid asked for Misa-Misa autograph with this strange accent and I hugged him right there even though he was kind of chubby" Misa said and Raito zoned her out.

'It shouldn't be this easy for a person to rumble on about useless things' Raito thought nodding his head whenever he thought Misa was expecting it.

The movie started at exactly six thirty and Misa finally went silent as the movie started. She scooted a few inches closer to Raito and pressed her shoulder against his arm while keeping her focus on the movie.

'Should I break up with Misa? I guess it is not fair to lead her on since I have no intention of making this relationship a serious one. But if I do stay with her and do meet Ryuuzaki again someday it will annoy the hell out of him' Raito thought smiling slightly at the idea of that.

'But at the same time there is a chance I will never see him again and I don't think it is worth keeping Misa around for who knows how long' Raito sighed inwardly. It all came down to if it was worth keeping Misa around to annoy Ryuuzaki or not.

'If I had known for a fact that Ryuuzaki was leaving then I probably would keep Misa around since I know I would see him again. But because there is a low possibility of meeting Ryuuzaki again I don't think I will keep her around. She should find someone who actually cares about her and with college homework, as simply as it might be, I don't need anyone around who will annoy me' Raito thought and came to his conclusion.

Misa had tired a few times to sit in his lap, but failed all three times.

"Misa let's go," Raito said as the movie credits started to roll.

" 'Kay, do you want to go anywhere else Misa-Misa has off tomorrow" Misa said taking Raito hand in her own and he lead her off to the side where there was a bridge that overlooked the water. The park had street lamps and the moon was full that night, so it still pretty bright out even though it was passed eight o'clock.

"Raito is being so romantic" Misa cheered happily as they stopped on the bridge and Raito turned to face Misa.

"Look Misa, I don't think it is a good idea for us to be dating anymore," Raito said looking Misa straight in the eyes to make sure she got it.

"What are you talking about, Raito and Misa are perfectly happy together, why would you break up Misa-Misa" Misa asked her voice shaking slightly.

"Misa I am not happy with you, but if you want I will still be your friend" Raito said earnestly.

"But Misa and Raito are supposed to stay together we make a beautiful couple and Misa-Misa loves Raito very much" Misa said her voice cracking.

"Misa it is a one-sided love and I am really sorry to say this but I will never love you in the way you want me to" Raito said gently.

"Misa-Misa can change that, I can make Raito fall in love with Misa," she said grabbing a hold of Raito's shirt and looking up at him with tears starting to fell from her eyes. "Misa you can't make a person fall in love with you. It just happens and I don't feel any romantic feelings towards you" Raito said calmly.

"Then why did you date Misa-Misa if you knew that" Misa said with more tears falling from her eyes.

"Misa we both know that I do not love you. We have known it for a long time, so take your part in the blame because you knew and did not want to let go" Raito said in a quiet reprimanding tone.

"Of course Misa knew, but Misa-Misa saw the way you looked at Ryuuzaki and did not want you to turn gay" Misa said.

"Let's not talk about Ryuuzaki, after all this is about you and me" Raito said firmly.

"It is the reason though. You finally figured it out and after I tried so hard to make you love me," Misa said crying harder.

"What did I figure out Misa" Raito said confused and Misa looked up with tear stained cheeks.

"Then Misa still has hope. Stay with Misa-Misa and Misa can show you love. He can't love you the way I do and it won't be as fiercely as I love you so stay with Misa" Misa said putting her head on Raito's chest.

"I am not going to stay with you Misa" Raito said pushing Misa away lightly.

"But why would you leave Misa know, Ryuuzaki is gone and I can be your happiness now" Misa said desperately.

"He is not gone," Raito said flatly.

"But he is I heard he left you without saying goodbye. Misa-Misa would never do that choose Misa over him and Misa-Misa can make you happy" she said and Raito pushed her fully away.

"He may have done that Misa, but I can never choose you over him. You were never a source of my happiness" Raito said and Misa sobs became harder.

"Look Misa I do want you to find someone who can make you happy but it will never be me. Let the thought go and find someone else" Raito told her sincerely and Misa knees hit the bridge as she sobbed harder.

Raito sighed as he took a few steps to be standing in front of Misa and knelt beside her. "Misa you are a pop idol and I know you will find someone else, so cheer up," Raito said stroking her hair lightly.

Misa continued to cry hard for a few more minutes before claming down.

"Will Raito walk Misa-Misa back to her hotel" Misa asked looking up at Raito and hiccupping slightly.

"I will" Raito said standing up and letting his hand fall in front of Misa face. She accepted the gesture and used Raito's hand to help her stand up.

"Can we at least hold hands until we get to my hotel" Misa asked sounding slightly perky.

"Only if you don't take it as a sign that we are dating" Raito said seriously.

"Misa promises she won't" Misa said smiling lightly, but her tears had left stain marks down her face and her mascara was running slightly. Raito used his free hand to pull out a handkerchief and gave it to Misa.

"Thanks" She said taking it and wiping most of the mascara of.

"You can keep it Misa I don't really need it" Raito said and Misa put it in her purse gently.

"I'm ready to go," she said quietly and Raito and her started walking toward her hotel.

The two walked back to her hotel since it was only a few blocks away. It was silent the whole time, but neither one minded.

"So Misa-Misa can still be Raito's friend" Misa asked as they stopped in front of her hotel.

"Of course" Raito said.

"A friend with benefits" Misa asked innocently and Raito chuckled slightly.

"No Misa, now go get some rest you look tired" Raito told her and Misa giggled slightly. "Had to try" Misa said and Raito smiled lightly.

"I know and for future reference it is never going to work," Raito said letting go of Misa hand.

"You never know. You may give up your feelings for Ryuuzaki and come crawling back to Misa-Misa" Misa said laughing and winking at Raito.

"I highly doubt that" Raito said.

"Night Raito, oh and if Ryuuzaki ever hurts your feelings I will beat him up for you" Misa said determinedly.

"I'm sure, good night Misa" Raito said.

"Bye bye Raito" Misa said and with that entered the hotel building.

Raito waited until she was inside before leaving.

'She may be clingy, but still bearable' Raito thought and walked back home.

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Eight months went by and Raito still had heard nothing from Ryuuzaki. He was hoping that Ryuuzaki would at least connect him today since it was his birthday. There was a strong doubt that anything would happen, but he still felt hopefully that Ryuuzaki would at least send him something. A text message would be acceptable.

"Happy birthday onii-san" Sayu said as she came into his room and jumped on his bed grinning like a mad women.

"Hello Sayu" Raito said sitting up, but was knocked back down with the force of Sayu's hug.

"Turning nineteen, you are getting so old" Sayu said playfully and sat back up on the bed. "Getting more mature with age" Raito said and Sayu grinned.

"I don't know if you can get more mature," she said teasingly. Raito smiled back at her and got off his bed.

"I need to get changed, so if you don't mind please leave," Raito said ruffling his sister's hair.

"Does that count as your birthday wish" Sayu asked and Raito smiled

"No" he said simply and Sayu left the room without compliant.

He changed into brown kakis and a red button up shirt. It was still a school day and all of his classes were in the morning and early afternoon.

"You should ditch your classes today" Sayu told Raito as he came downstairs.

"I am not going to miss school, there is a chance I may miss something important" Raito said.

"I am sure everyone in your classes would be more than happy to tell you what it is you missed" Sayu pointed out.

"I think it is a good thing that Raito is going to his classes, shows dedication," Soichiro said from his spot at the kitchen table. He folded the newspaper he was reading and glanced up at Raito.

"Happy birthday" he said smiling and then took a sip of the coffee he had in front of him.

"Thanks dad" Raito said grabbing an apple and saying his goodbyes before heading off to school.

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He arrived back home at three o'clock in the afternoon and saw that he was the only person in the house. Sayu still had to go to school, his father was at work, and his mom was out in the grocery store buying Raito's favorite foods to cook tonight.

There was nothing to do and he lay down on the couch bored out of his mind. Ryuuzaki cell phone was out of service and Raito knew he had changed it without telling him on purpose.

'He obviously doesn't want to talk to me anymore' thought Raito glaring at his own cell phone. It read no new texts and Raito had checked his e-mail at school getting multiple happy birthdays from people he hardly knew and only really talked to them in classes. The one person he wanted a text from he would not get it.

He placed his phone down on his chest and shut his eyes.

'Why am I still hoping to get a message from him? It has already been eight months and still nothing. Luckily I don't love him, or else this would actually hurt my feelings' Raito thought snorting at the thought. His phone vibrated on his chest and he sat straight up grabbing the phone and looking to see whom the text was from.

'Only from Misa' Raito thought deflated and opened his phone to look at the message. Refusing to admit to himself that he had hoped it would have been someone else.

'Happy b-day Raito, we should hang out soon love Misa-Misa' it read and Raito shut the phone and placed it on the coffee table.

Raito pulled out his textbooks and opened the first one up.

'The inner workings of a criminal mind' was a required book he had to read and he might as well get started.

Two hours passed by before he heard the door open and close and Sachiko stepped into the living room.

"Happy birthday Raito-kun" Sachiko said smiling at her son and moved straight to the kitchen with her hands full of grocery bags.

"Do you need help?" Raito asked putting the book down. He had already gotten past the first 200 pages and only had a hundred and twenty seven left.

"No you just rest since it is your birthday. I got things covered" Sachiko said from the kitchen and Raito started reading the book again.

"Onii-san it's your birthday" Sayu said hugging Raito from behind twenty minutes later. "Oh you figured it out," Raito teased and Sayu let go of him while hitting his arm playfully.

A few more hours passed and the family gathered around the table. Raito thanked his mother for the dinner and blew out candles on the cake but did not eat any. He hated sweet things. For gifts he got a laptop, new version of 'Paradise Lost' by John Milton, Yo Yo Ma Bach CD, and some new clothes items.

After that was all done Raito thanked his family again and went upstairs. He placed all the gifts down on his bed before gabbing one at a time and putting it in its proper place. The cell phone was placed on the nightstand and Raito sat on his bed and started up the laptop.

For a couple of hours he played around it with uploading files into it and checking his e-mail every so often. The clock read ten o'clock and Raito shut of his laptop and put it on his desk. He turned the TV on and the first thing the news talked about that night was how L had solved yet again another difficult case.

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There were no cases for him to solve at the moment. He had been juggling five cases and all of them had been finished within the week. The worst part for him was that it was Raito's birthday and he couldn't decide if he was going to call or not.

The phone had been mocking him all day long. It figured that a small dry spot happened on the day of Raito's birthday. The one day no one decided to kill someone or have a hostage situation was the one day L wanted to be swamped in work.

'Karma really is a bitch' Ryuuzaki thought darkly and made his way to another room where Watari had been looking for cases for L to solve.

"Any luck yet Watari?" L asked standing at the entrance of the room and noted that it was five o'clock p.m. Russian time.

"There have been same small cases, but nothing that would interest you" Watari said turning his chair around to face his grandson.

"I am willingly to work on smaller cases if there is nothing that is demanding my attention" L said in a monotone voice.

"This wouldn't be because it is Raito-kun's birthday and you just want to throw yourself into work" Watari asked.

"That has nothing to do with it Watari, even smaller cases need my help at times" L said flatly his facial expression giving away nothing.

"There are no cases that need your attention, perhaps tomorrow they will need it" Watari said, and L withheld a sigh.

"You are punishing me for not talking to Raito-kun" L said flatly and Watari smiled at him.

"No I am not, but if you feel that way then maybe you should call Raito-kun up" Watari said innocently.

"I can find other ways to entertain myself for the rest of the day" L said leaving the room and entering the kitchen. The fridge was on the far right side of the room with the counter space opposite of it. In the center was a long wooden table that was set for six people, one chair at each end of the table and two sets of chairs on the opposite sides of the table. L made his way over to the fridge and opened the door. It revealed various items of sweet food and L grabbed the chocolate covered strawberries that had cheesecake in-between the chocolate and strawberry. He sat down at the table and ate ten of them before putting the other five back and going back out to the main room where his computer was.

His computer had access to the case files but he wanted to prove Watari wrong in this matter; that he could handle not talking to Raito on the older boy's birthday. Of course his mother had told him that Raito said hi for when it was his birthday. But he refused to feel guilty about this.

His cell phone was buried in his front pocket and mocking him. It was a new phone since his old one could be traced back to the people he knew. This one had no names on it at all. The main computer had the numbers of every important politician in the world.

Ryuuzaki set the computer down and pulled out the cell phone holding it in front of his face.

'Calling Raito would be so easy. But it would defeat the whole purpose of driving him away. I am not going to break it to make Raito-kun feel better. I'm sure Raito won't even notice.' L thought and shoved the cell phone deep within his pockets. He started a new game of solitaire on his computer, while ignoring the feeling of guilt eating away at his consciousness.

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It was past midnight when Raito decided to call it a night,

'As I thought he never called' Raito thought angrily.

'Did he really want to push me away that much? If this is his way of rejecting me before I could reject him then he must seriously lack any confidence in my answer' Raito thought feeling his eye twitch again.

"The bastard didn't even let me reply" Raito mumbled and threw his phone at the wall where a loud smacking sound was heard before the phone fell to the ground.

He lay down on the bed and humped to himself.

"If he doesn't want to be my friend or potential lover anymore then I will stop waiting around for the call" Raito told himself lightly. He would just slip on another mask and pretend everything was ok.

He had filled the small gap in his chest with hope, but that had disappeared and the emptiness came back in full force. It had spread deeper than it had when he first realized that Ryuuzaki was gone and not coming back. Raito knew he had been in denial and held onto the small hope that Ryuuzaki would come back, but eight months without a single message was enough to help keep him awake.

'He is not coming back' Raito thought and the statement finally hit him at full force. Tears sprang to his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. The feeling was suffocating him and before he fell asleep Raito wondered if he would feel like he was drowning for the rest of his life.

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End of chapter 3

Tora Kitsune gets many thanks for editing this chapter. I really do appreciate it hugs.

Finally finished chapter 3 yay! Hope all you enjoyed it. Now to clear a few things up, first I am not going to make Shin and Misa a couple cause it would take away from story and I do not care enough about Misa to do that. I downright dislike her, but didn't want her to be as annoying in this story, so I am trying to play it down a bit.

L and Raito will meet again in the next chapter, but I will have a span of quite a few years passing before they do. I realize that Raito is probably really OOC, but angst Raito is just so much fun to write, I can't help it. Through I am hoping that most of my characters did remain in character. I do have Ryuuzaki referring to Raito as Yagami-kun, Raito-kun and Raito on purpose. Attempting to show a distancing method that hopeful worked.

I apologize for having three other characters and hope you did not get bored with their personalities. Hopefully L's case he was working on did not bore any of you; I am trying to get a feeling of what it is going to be like for later chapters.

I will stop the author's note now since most of you are probably wondering why the hell I am still talking. Hope you will all review and tell me if you did like this chapter or not.

Poll results for 'Should I turn the story 'the choices we make' into a story where Raito has the Death Note or not?'

77 percent no, 13 percent you decide since it is your story, and 9 percent yes. I am actually relieved that the Death Note will not be in this story. Thank you all for voting!

Rain angst


	4. Decisions

Title- The choices we make

Title- The choices we make

Pairing- L/Raito eventually

Warning- OOC'ness.

Talking ""

Thinking ''

Dream are in **bold**

Flashbacks are in Italics Decisions

I have edited it and hopeful it has become better. Some dialogue has been changed, for example, Raito's thoughts before he goes back to sleep after the second dream sequences. Anyways hope you all enjoy it!

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**The sky was completely grey, not a single speck of blue was anywhere in sight. Raito glanced downwards and realized he was standing on water, his head shot up and looked in all directions. There was nothing but water. **

'**The same dream again' Raito thought; he had been having this dream ever since Ryuuzaki left. **

"**Why does Raito-kun almost come here almost every night" Ryuuzaki's voice asked from behind Raito. He could once again feel his body stiffen and would refuse to let him turn around to face Ryuuzaki. **

**A thin arm wrapped around Raito's waist and he felt Ryuuzaki cool breath against his ear. "Why" L's voice said again.**

"**I don't know" Raito admitted keeping his head facing straight ahead; giving nothing away in his voice. **

"**Is it because Raito-kun misses me" L's said in a mocking voice. Ryuuzaki dipped his head down slightly and kissed Raito's collarbone. **

**Raito felt an involuntary shudder run through his body. L smirked against Raito's skin before lifting his head back up again. **

"**Why did you leave" Raito asked tightly and didn't expect an answer. **

"**We both know I am not going to tell you that" L's voice said and began to stroke Raito's side with his thumb. **

"**Though there is something that I will tell Raito-kun" L's voice said directly into Raito's ear. L dipped his head down to plant a few butterfly kisses on Raito's neck.**

"**Oh and what is that?" Raito asked, already knowing the answer. He ignored the feeling curling around his lower stomach. **

**L lifted his head up and molded their bodies together. "I have never missed you, nor will I ever" L's voice whispered into Raito's ear, like he didn't want anyone else to hear it. **

**Raito's body began to slip under the cold ocean water and unlike the dreams before he was able to turn his head around to meet L's gaze. The younger man wore a blank stare with a hint of malice lurking behind his eyes. **

**Raito grasped onto L's pants leg trying to remain afloat, his legs kicking fiercely in the water. L bent down so that his eyes were level with Raito's, "I lied" L said simply and Raito knew he was talking about saying he loved the older man. **

**L took Raito's hand that was still holding onto his pants and intertwined their hands. "Goodbye Raito-kun" L said letting go of Raito's hand and watched the water pull Raito underneath the surface. **

**Raito kicked with his legs trying to no longer sink down, but was only able to remain where he was. L would not help him and he did not want to sink further into his own despair. Raito was at a standstill and he truly hated where he had ended up. **

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Raito's eyes shot open and he sat up in bed; sweat forming at his forehead and running down his face.

'I really hate that dream' Raito thought staring down at his legs.

The clock read six in the morning and Raito decided to get up. He grabbed a new set of clothes and made his way out of the room to take a long hot shower.

When Raito re-entered his room it was six forty in the morning; he had gotten dressed in the bathroom. No one would be getting up until at least seven thirty.

Raito grabbed 'Paradise Lost' off of his dresser and moved downstairs to read that while waiting for the news to come on.

When the clock read seven a.m. he marked his spot in his book and turned the TV on.

At seven thirty Sachiko came down stairs and saw her son watching the news. "Good morning Raito-kun, you're up early today" Sachiko commented walking over to her son and standing behind him. "Good morning okaa-san" Raito said turning the T.V. off.

"Why are you up so early?" Sachiko asked curiously. "I just wasn't that tired" Raito said easily and Sachiko nodded her head in understanding. "I see that happens to me as well" Sachiko said and Raito smiled along with his mom.

"I'm going to go start breakfast any requests" Sachiko asked not moving from her spot behind Raito. "What ever you make is fine with me. Do you want any help" Raito asked smiling. "No thank you, breakfast should be ready in about twenty minutes" Sachiko said moving to the kitchen.

Ten minutes later Sayu came down followed by Soichiro. The two said their good mornings before Soichiro started reading the newspaper and Sayu stole the T.V. to watch a music program.

"Breakfast is ready" Sachiko said ten minutes later and everyone gathered around the table to eat.

"I have an announcement to make" Raito said after everyone had finished eating. "What is it Raito?" Soichiro asked and Sachiko and Sayu both looked at Raito curiously.

"I have been thinking this for awhile now, but I think it would be for the best if I moved out" Raito said calmly.

"What? why dose onii-chan want to move out?" Sayu exclaimed looking shocked.

"Since I am in college now I figure it would be good for me to live on my own. This way I can live closer to the school and it is also a good way to become independent" Raito said folding his hands neatly on the table.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with Ryuuzaki, right?" Sayu asked and Raito didn't even tense up. He turned his head to look at his sister and a small smile came up to his lips.

"It has nothing to do with Ryuuzaki" Raito said lying through his teeth. "I don't see any problems with you moving out" Soichiro said and Raito looked over to his father slightly shocked.

"You honestly don't mind" Raito said feigning surprise. "Not at all; it is good for someone your age wanting independence. Of course I can pay for your rent" Soichiro said proudly. "I will get a job to help out as well" Raito said glad it was going smoothly.

"You should be more concerned with your schooling" Soichiro told Raito sternly. "I am, but I can still get a part time job. It wouldn't feel right to let you pay for all of my school and rent. Not to mention I will need to buy food and have spending money in case I need to get something" Raito said and Soichiro seemed to think about it before finally conceding.

"Alright Raito, when do you want to move out?" Soichiro asked. "In the next month" Raito told him and Soichiro nodded his head in approval.

"I will come with you, for apartment hunting" Sayu said cheerful and Raito smiled at Sayu fondly. "That would be nice" Raito said and Sayu had a big grin sweep across her face.

"You will still come home every so often and eat dinner with us right?" Sachiko asked concerned. "I will come home at least once a week" Raito said and Sachiko smiled relived at the answer.

Raito stood up and moved his way back up to his room. Homework was not going to finish itself.

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After completing his homework Raito moved to his new laptop and went to find apartment listings. Two bed rooms and two bathrooms, a largely furnished living room and kitchen for 3,000 dollars a mouth.

Raito frowned, 'way too much.' Raito thought clicking on another apartment that was being sold and once again found it to be too much. After searching for two hours and not finding anything Raito turned his computer off and decided to look later.

He stood up from his desk and stretched his arms over his head and grabbed his wallet off of his nightstand before making his way downstairs. "I'm going out for a bit" Raito said to his mother. "Alright Raito, try not to stay out to late" Sachiko said smiling fondly at her son.

"I promise I won't" Raito said "and if I do stay out later for some reason I will call" Raito promised and Sachiko nodded her head in agreement. "Alright then, have funs" she said not looking behind her.

Raito slid out of the house quietly and grabbed his coat since it was still chilly out.

He didn't have a destination in mind, but he needed to be out of the house. 'I'm glad it went well' Raito thought letting his feet carry him in no particular direction. He had been concerned that he wouldn't be able to move out and his family would put up more of a fight.

Sayu was of course right, he was moving out of the house to get away from the memories of Ryuuzaki. They were haunting him and every time he stepped foot into that house he felt like his dream would become reality. The cold water from his dream felt like it was swallowing him whenever he entered his house.

His home was supposed to be a place of freedom, but that had all ended. The house was still cheerful but Raito felt like he was drowning. He couldn't stand it; every room had a memory of Ryuuzaki attached to it.

The strongest places were the bedroom and kitchen.

L had spent many days stealing sweets and calming them as his own. Sachiko had banned Ryuuzaki from the kitchen form the age of six to eight. When Ryuuzaki turned eight Sachiko deemed he had better control over his sweet tooth and was once again allowed to enter the kitchen. Ryuuzaki had just got sneakier and was able to steal more cookies while managing to have an alibi of not being in the room at the time.

The place Raito hated the most was his own bedroom. Ryuuzaki and he had spent many hours in there arguing over different theories and why L should eat healthier.

The worst part of the bedroom was that L had admitted his supposed love for Raito and kissed him. The room felt like a mockery of their supposed friendship. 'Most people aren't assholes and say they love someone and then just up and leave that same day.' Raito thought bitterly.

The sun was sinking in the horizon and Raito decided he would grab some coffee before heading back home. After all he had nothing better to do.

The café was crowed with people stopping in to get something before heading home for the night. The line was mildly long and if nothing else it gave Raito plenty of time to decide what he wanted to get.

The TV was on a news station and muted so that the words were up on the screen. 'In recent news the world renowned L has yet again solved another case. In France there had been a hostage situation and the ransom was over one million dollars. L easily negotiated with the kidnapers and got everyone out safely. In other news.' Raito stopped reading the TV there.

'Jenny-san had said that Ryuuzaki was going to France on a school trip. He never comes home for holidays, or birthdays and Jenny-san said that he is constantly working.' Raito thought and was now only two people away from the front.

'Ryuuzaki never took long on school work. Even my college load does not require a lot of actually work. He may have never told me what he wanted to do as a job, but I knew that detective work always interested him. Ryuuzaki can't be L. L has been around for over fifty years now. He would need successors and Ryuuzaki could have taken' Raito thoughts stopped abruptly once he reached the counter.

"What would you like sir" a young girl asked. Her hair was dyed a light blue color and she was looking at Raito bored. "A medium black coffee to go" Raito said politely pulling out his wallet. "That will be three dollars" she said ringing up Raito's purchase.

He handed her the money and she disappeared for a few seconds before coming back and holding a medium coffee for Raito. He left a dollar tip in a small jar beside the cash register and made his way out of the crowed café.

Taking in a deep inhale Raito was glad to be out of the café.

'What was I thinking about' Raito wondered vaguely, but couldn't remember. 'Must not have been that important' Raito decided and made his way back home.

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Dinner time came around and Soichiro was not home again. "Dad already working on another hard case" Raito asked sitting down at the kitchen table.

"Yes I heard on the news that L is taking the case" Sachiko said and Raito eyes widened slightly.

"The case is that serious" Raito asked surprised.

"It would seem so, but let's have no more talk of police work" Sachiko said sitting down across from Sayu.

"What is so great about L" Sayu asked curiously. "Sayu he is the world's best detective. Every case that L has ever worked on he has solved it, while catching the right person using cold hard facts against them" Raito said slightly shocked that his sister didn't know.

"So that's who it is. I heard some people at my school talking about L but didn't know who they were referring to. It's weird that he never shows his face to the public" Sayu said taking a bit of her spaghetti.

"For someone who has never heard of L you still seem to know a bit" Raito teased his sister. "That is what the group of guys was saying" Sayu said smiling back.

"L is just overly paranoid, but for good reason since if any of the criminals every got out and knew his face they would go hunting for him" Raito said and Sayu nodded her head in agreement.

"You two remind me of your father when you talk like that" Sachiko said smilingly at the two.

"I guess we won't be seeing dad for awhile" Raito said putting some cheese onto his spaghetti. "Yes he is quite busy. Have you had any luck getting a hold of Ryuuzaki-kun" Sachiko asked curiously.

"No he got a new phone and it doesn't feel right using Jenny-san to got a hold of him" Raito said using a spoon and fork to make a neat spaghetti ball.

"You two are morons. Jenny-san would not feel bad about it at all; she already said she would help you. Pride is a stupid thing to cling onto" Sayu told her brother flatly.

"Why is that Sayu?" Raito asked taking a small neat bit.

"Because neither one of you are willingly to keep your friendship. Both of you are not willingly to admit that you miss the other openly and you are both to prideful to make connect with the other just to admit it. It doesn't even faze you when I bring up Ryuuzaki-kun name. Fourteen years of friendship down the drain all because he went overseas" Sayu said huffing.

Sachiko stood from the table and left the two to talk about it.

"It is more difficult than that" Raito said staring at his plate. "What could have possibly have come in-between you two. The two of you were almost conjoined at the hip" Sayu said trying to lighten the mood she had created.

"I don't know what it is" Raito said half truthfully.

"He finally told you" Sayu said surprised. "When he gets back I am so scolding him. Ryuuzaki said he give me the details" Sayu said angrily.

"What are you talking about" Raito asked confused at his sisters ranting.

"Oh umm yeah me and mom have know for awhile about how he felt for you" Sayu said. "Oh and what exactly do you mean by telling you details" Raito asked already fearing the answer.

"You know I figured it out almost right away. For being a genius you can be really dense" Sayu said and Raito felt his eye twitch.

"I told Ryuuzaki-kun I wouldn't tell you how he felt as long as he gave me the details on what happened" Sayu explained.

His eye twitched some more and Raito took in a calming breath.

"So what happened tell me? I need details" Sayu said excitedly moving her chair closer to Raito's.

"Girls really do have weird moods" Raito mused aloud and Sayu glared.

"If you don't tell me then I will go ask Jenny-san if I can talk to Ryuuzaki next time he calls" Sayu said evilly.

"Go ask Jenny-san because I am not telling" Raito said messing up Sayu's hair and putting his half eaten dinner in the trash before putting the plate in the sink .

"That is cruel nii-san" Sayu whined as Raito made his way up the stairs.

Sayu stood from the table and moved to the phone and dialed the Lawliet's number.

"Hello" A feminine voice said from the other line of the phone. "Hi Jenny-san it is Sayu-chan" Sayu said happily.

"Sayu-chan how have you been" Jenny asked politely. "Fine and you" Sayu asked twirling the phone cord in her hand.

"I have been wonderful. Do you need something" Jenny asked concerned.

"Actually yes; I was wondering if I could talk to Ryuuzaki-kun next time he calls" Sayu asked politely.

"If you want to talk to him you should come over now since he is due to call in half-an-hour" Jenny said "Thank you very much I will be there soon" Sayu said and the two hanged up.

"Mom I am going over to the Lawliet's house for a bit" Sayu said. "Alright, tell Jenny-san I say hi" Sachiko said. "I will" Sayu said and left the house soon after.

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"It is so nice to see you again Sayu-chan" Jenny said opening the door to let Sayu in.

"It is nice to see you again as well Jenny-san and kaa-san says hi" Sayu said smiling. "Tell her I say hi back and that she should come over and visit me soon" Jenny said leading Sayu into the sitting room. "I will" Sayu said taking a seat on the couch next to Jenny.

"Why do you want to talk to Ryuuzaki?" Jenny asked curiously. "I failed trying to knock some sense into my brother so I am going to give Ryuuzaki a shot" Sayu said determinedly.

"Good luck" Jenny said and Sayu smiled in appreciation.

The phone began to ring and Jenny picked it up. "Hello" Jenny said and a smile came to her face when she heard Ryuuzaki's baritone voice.

"Hello" L said from the other side and the two talked for a few moments before Jenny had the chance to give Sayu the phone.

"I will be back in minute Ryuuzaki I have to go check on the brownies I am making" Jenny said and Ryuuzaki made a sound of acknowledgement.

"All yours" Jenny said handing the phone over to Sayu and standing up to go check on the brownies that she was really making.

"Hey Ryuuzaki" Sayu said happily. "Sayu-chan" Ryuuzaki said with a hint of surprise in his voice.

"So I found out today that you finally told nii-san you love him. Why the hell did you not tell me sooner" Sayu said hurt.

"My apologies Sayu-chan I have been very busy" L said. 'I was not expecting that as the first thing out of her mouth' L thought amused by Sayu.

"I want details since nii-san wouldn't tell me anything" Sayu said in a voice that said she would except no protests.

"Only if Sayu does not interrupt me" L said licking the frosting off of a chocolate cupcake.

"Agreed" Sayu said happily.

Ryuuzaki told Sayu what had happened and finished within three minutes.

"Didn't even get to lay him, how sad" Sayu said and L chuckled in amusement.

"Sayu I know that you want me and Raito-kun to start calling each other but it is not going to happen" L said sternly.

"Why not" Sayu asked and L heard the pout from the other side.

"People change and I do not miss Raito-kun at all you can tell him that" L said and Sayu winced at the coldness in his tone.

"So fourteen years of friendship means nothing to you" Sayu said angrily. "He will be much better of without me around" L said flatly. "Why do you say that? If Raito hasn't picked up on your bad eating habits now I doubt he will" Sayu said.

"I don't mean in that way Sayu-chan. It is much safer for the both of us this way and Raito-kun does not need to know anything. Is that all you wanted to talk about" L asked flatly.

"Raito won't say it aloud, but he really does miss you Ryuuzaki and I believe it has developed into love. Just keep that in mind when you continue to push my brother away for whatever reason you are" Sayu said quietly.

A small pause was took place before Ryuuzaki responded "Goodbye Sayu-chan" and with that the phone line went dead. A small sigh escaped Sayu's lips and she put the phone back on the medium wooden table next to the couch.

"No luck" Jenny asked coming into the room looking disappointed.

"Not really" Sayu said standing up. "Thanks again for letting me talk to him" Sayu said earnestly.

"It was no problem at all" Jenny said smiling reassuringly.

"Would you like to take home some brownies" Jenny asked. "That would be awesome" Sayu said cheerful. The two moved into the kitchen and Jenny gave Sayu a plastic plate that held half of the brownies she had made.

After obtaining the brownies Sayu and Jenny said there goodbyes and Sayu went home feeling disappointed that she had not been able to get either one talk to the other.

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The case was going slowly but they were proceeding faster with L on their side.

A subway serial killer who killed anyone he deemed to be in his seat. The killings always took place after midnight and the murder weapon was a small handheld knife; that would be used to stab the victims to death.

Soichiro found it to be an honor to work with L and Watari was still mysterious as ever.

He wasn't quite sure why, but L reminded him of someone with the way he talked, even through his voice was being alternated with a computer.

"Yagami-san have you found any new leads" L voice asked from the back of the room. He was not there in person but had an L on his computer. And unlike the investigation room L could see everyone and they could not see him at all.

"Recently Toshio Niwa, 23 years old was released from prison. As a child he had murdered his sister for no apparent reason at all. When authorities had asked why he killed his sister his response was that the two were playing a game. He was put into a juvenile delinquent center and because of his good behavior the detention hall has released him. Even through there are no witness, subway camera's have caught him getting on a subway and not seen him exiting" Soichiro said professional.

"Good work Yagami-san. Have someone tail Niwa-san and see if they catch him in the act. If so arrest him" L's voice said.

"Of course" Soichiro said.

"Good that will be all for today" L said. Watari turned of the computer and waited for everyone else to leave before he did as well.

Soichiro was the only person left in the room.

'It's Ryuuzaki that is who L reminds me of' Soichiro thought gathering up his papers and deciding he would head home that day.

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Soichiro opened the door to his house at eight thirty it had been awhile since he had been able to be home this early.

"Dad your home" Sayu said opening the door a minute later and hugging him.

"The case is going more smoothly then we first thought it would be." Soichiro said hugging Sayu back.

"What is L like?" Sayu asked curiously. Soichiro glanced at his daughter surprised. "Raito and I were talking about him during dinner" Sayu explained.

"I see why don't we go and get your brother and I can tell you both" Soichiro said.

"Kay met you at the kitchen table in five minutes, oh and take these brownies into the kitchen as well, thanks" Sayu said happily handing the brownies to her father and ran up stairs to go get Raito.

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"Raito dad is home" Sayu said skipping over to her brother who was sitting at his desk.

"Oh, I didn't think we see dad for awhile" Raito said shutting off his computer and turning around to face Sayu.

"He says he is going to tell us his opinion about L" Sayu said excitedly. "Interesting how that worked out" Raito said standing up and stretched his arms over his head.

"It is, but you should know that I talked to Ryuuzaki-kun today" Sayu said quietly. Raito's stretch paused and he looked down at Sayu. "What did he say" Raito asked trying to sound nonchalant.

Sayu looked around the room slightly uncomfortable. "Ryuuzaki-kun says that he does not miss you and that it is for the best that you two never see or talk to each other again." Sayu said looking at Raito apologetic.

"I see" Raito said putting his arms down and looking completely neutral.

"Nii-san is handling this way to well" Sayu said looking at Raito suspiciously.

"I have been expecting this for awhile. Let's go downstairs and hear dad's thoughts on L" Raito said ushering his sister out of the room.

"Raito" Sayu said grabbing the doorframe and stopping her brother from walking any further. "Yes" Raito said stopping his movements as well.

"Your best friend does not miss you and pretty much never wants to see you again. This is supposed to bother people more than what you acting like. He told you he loved you. Do you not get the full meaning of that? Ryuuzaki-kun wanted to always be with you and now that he is gone you now acting like it doesn't bother you. Keeping things bottled up is not good for a person's health" Sayu said looking Raito in the eye.

"I know that Sayu. Took a lot of psychology classes" Raito said off handily. "Perhaps you should go back then. When he first left you showed that it bothered you but now you don't and I am worried about you" Sayu said sincerely.

"I appreciate the concern, but I really have been expecting this for awhile now" Raito said smiling at Sayu reassuringly. "We should head downstairs now since dad is probably waiting" Raito said and Sayu's hands released the door frame.

"You're both impossibly" Sayu said in an exasperated tone.

Raito just smiled at Sayu and the two walked downstairs.

"Hey dad" Raito said coming into the kitchen with Sayu behind him.

"Hello Raito" Soichiro responded. His two children sat across from him and waited for him to begin.

"What do you want to know exactly" Soichiro asked not sure how this was supposed to work. "Does his personality remind you of Ryuuzaki" Raito asked wanting to test out his theory since he had remembered his idea of Ryuuzaki being L.

"In some ways L does. I myself thought that today" Soichiro said. "Is there any reason you wanted to know that" Soichiro asked a little surprised that had been the first question. "Not particularly" Raito said shrugging his shoulders.

"Is it true that he never appears in person" Sayu asked curiosity seeping out of her.

"Yes he has an assistant named Watari. He is the only person with a direct link to L. It is a computer that has the L insignia on it, but he can see every one in the room but we cannot see him" Soichiro said.

"Should you really be telling us that part" Sayu asked not sure if the public knew that.

"It is almost common knowledge and the only way that information could bring harm to people is if they knew the real identity of L and Watari" Raito said and Sayu made an O shape with her mouth.

"Is there anything else that you really wanted to know" Soichiro asked. "What does L's voice sound like" Sayu asked leaning over the table slightly, her eyes widening in curiosity.

"I don't know when he talks his voice is alternated by the computer" Soichiro said honestly and Sayu looked disappointed as she leaned back to sit in her chair correctly.

"So you can't tell if he is trying to express an emotion" Sayu asked slightly confused. "It is harder to tell but not impossibly" Soichiro said and Sayu nodded her head in understanding.

"If I think of any thing I will ask then" Sayu said smiling and hugged her father. "That would be fine" Soichiro said and Sayu left the table to go and call one of her friends.

"Do you think that Ryuuzaki is L, or somehow connected to L" Soichiro asked turning to face Raito after Sayu had left.

"I am not sure yet, but at the moment I think there is a possibility" Raito said seriously.

"Would you like me to act on that or not?" Soichiro asked wanting to help his son contact his old friend somehow.

"No even if you did ask there is no way L would tell the truth" Raito said withholding a sigh. "Your right, but if you change your mind just tell me" Soichiro said in a genuine voice. "I will, so how is your case going" Raito asked wanting to change the subject.

"L decided to look up people who had recently had been released from prison and see if any of them showed up on the camera fed at the subway. The murderer always kills on the same line around the same time. At the moment we have narrowed the suspects down to one person" Soichiro said and Raito nodded his head.

"That is some luck" Raito said and Soichiro smiled at his son. "It is, but the case has been going a lot better with L on the team. We believe that the case should be ending soon" Soichiro said and Raito heard the relief in his father's voice.

"That is great" Raito said earnestly.

"Perhaps you will work with L one day" Soichiro said.

"I have heard many great things about L, it would be an honor" Raito agreed smiling lightly. 'Perhaps I can meet someone else who is on my intelligence level and not think of Ryuuzaki so much' Raito thought and was relieved at that thought of finally finding a way not to think about him as much.

'Then again dad said his personality did remind him of Ryuuzaki and there is a chance that Ryuuzaki could be L' Raito thought frowning at the thought. 'Just can't win' Raito thought and withheld the sigh wanting to be released.

"Do you know where Sachiko is?" Soichiro asked wanting to spend a few hours with his wife. "I believe she is in the bedroom" Raito said and Soichiro stood from the table. "Goodnight Raito" Soichiro said smiling at his son before he went upstairs.

The kitchen light was still on and Raito stood up slowly from the table and made his way over to the light. He flicked it off and whole room became dark.

'He said he doesn't even miss you' Sayu had said. At that time Raito didn't want Sayu to see how much that one line had truly destroyed the small hope Raito had clung onto.

He did not resort to kneeling on the floor, or get into a fetal position like it would somehow protect him. He stood firmly and looked at nothing in particular. 'Ryuuzaki has finally stopped caring' Raito thought numbly. It didn't feel right to think that.

"_Raito-kun if we ever do become separated for a long period of time, you should know that we will always be friends" an eight year old Ryuuzaki said. _

"_Why do you think we would be separated for a long time" Raito asked confused. His hand stopped working on the math problem he had almost finished and looked up to met Ryuuzaki's gaze. _

"_Just a feeling, but Raito-kun should remember that" L said seriously. "I will" Raito said smiling reassuringly at L. "Good now does Raito-kun have cake" Ryuuzaki asked looking around the kitchen. _

_Raito stood up from the table and made his way over to the fridge to pull out a slice of cake. He shut the fridge door and grabbed a fork from the drawer next to the sink and placed the plate in front of L. Ryuuzaki gave Raito a toothy grin before digging in. _

"_Even if we are separated for a long time you won't ever change your mind about being my friend right" Raito asked now feeling the unease L had started. _

"_I promise" L said sticking out his pinky finger. Raito smiled as he connected his pinky with L's. "Pinky promise, if you tell a lie I'll make you swallow a thousand needles, now pinky promise made" the two said. Both felt slightly weird doing that but it made it feel official and they shared a smile. _

'I should make Ryuuzaki eat a cake that has a thousand needles in it, that will show him not to break promises' Raito thought slightly amused by the idea.

'But I didn't think our friendship would ever just end' Raito thought and unwillingly his knees buckled and he feel to the floor, barely making a sound.

'Stupid Ryuuzaki' Raito thought angrily feeling a few tears fall down his cheeks. He used his palm and wiped the tears away angrily.

He sat there in silence for a few more minutes before standing up and heading upstairs.

Once he was in his bedroom Raito shut and locked the door. No one was going to come in; it was more of a pre-caution. He got dressed in a loose white shirt and a pair of black shorts.

'I didn't think Ryuuzaki would seriously not want to be my friend anymore. Not like I love the asshole' Raito thought unlocking his door and turning the light of. He sat down on the side that had been deemed Ryuuzaki's side.

At times he would sleep on Ryuuzaki's side since it would make him feel like his friend had never left. Today would be the last day he would do this. He would make sure to find an apartment soon and then perhaps Raito would not feel like he was drowning so much.

'Still has a faint smell of strawberries' Raito thought getting under the covers and inhaling the fading scent of things that could have been.

'I guess the promise of our friendship was never meant to last' Raito thought and felt his eyes close slowly and he fell into a restless sleep.

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**Raito awoke within the dream world again. The skies color had become a darker grey and the ocean now had violent waves. **

**None of the waves touched Raito. Instead, they surrounded him and the only calm part of the ocean is in a ten foot radius of him. **

"**Raito-kun really does come here to often" L said in a bored tone. **

**Raito turned his body around and faced L. 'Why can I move my body around' Raito thought surprised that he could turn his body at will. But now was not the time to think about it. **

"**Ryuuzaki was it all really just a lie" Raito asked narrowing his eyes. "Raito-kun still believes differently. Manipulating emotions is quite fun and I always wondered what it would be like to destroy something beautiful" L said standing only two feet away from Raito. **

**Ryuuzaki's hand came up to stroke Raito's hair. "Your like a china doll, beautiful to look out, but if not handled with care it can easily shatter" L said his spidery fingers entangling in Raito's smooth brown locks. **

"**I am not a china doll" Raito said offend. **

"**Has Raito-kun not seen his reflection yet" L said forcing Raito down on his knees and moving behind the younger man; Ryuuzaki's hand still entangled in Raito's thick hair. **

**Raito looked at his reflection in the icy depths of the water and his doe eyes widened. He was not wearing a shirt and only the black shorts he had on remained, but what surprised him were all the small cracks he had running down his whole body. **

**Many of the cracks were shallow, but the one over his heart was deep and if someone put even a small amount of pressure on it Raito was sure it would cave in. **

"**Does Raito-kun still not believe me" Ryuuzaki asked, his arm leaving Raito's hair and L kneeled down so his arm could encircle Raito's waist. His free left hand came up to glide over Raito's small cracks and paused at the big one.**

"**Ryuuzaki don't" Raito said in a small voice. The sound of waves crashing became louder in Raito's ears. **

"**Why not Raito-kun we both knew it would come to this" Ryuuzaki said lightly tracing around the large crack. **

"**If you do that than I will be" Raito began but didn't want to say the last word. Heartbroken was so cliché and he had no desire to say such a demeaning word that would inflict wounds on his already damaged pride. **

"**Then you will what Raito-kun" L said mockingly making the circles slightly harder with his index finger. **

"**Ryuuzaki please don't" Raito said bringing his hand up to rest loosely on Ryuuzaki's moving hand.**

**Both were looking into the water and Raito saw a smile smirk grace Ryuuzaki's face. **

**He didn't know what happened but Raito ended up on his back with Ryuuzaki straddling his stomach. "Destroying something beautiful has been fun, but alas our playtime is over with Raito-kun" L said against Raito's lips and their breath mingled with each others. **

"**What are you talking about Ryuuzaki" Raito said hiding the small shaking sound in his voice. Raito was staring into Ryuuzaki's bottomless black eyes and felt an end of something drawling closer. **

**Ryuuzaki pushed their lips together in a slow kiss and once Raito started responding he pulled their mouths away after a minute passed. **

"**Goodbye for good this time Raito-kun" L said placing his hand over Raito's heart. **

"**Ryuuzaki please don't I don't want to loose this feeling. I love you, you moron" Raito said letting a few tears slip out. His hands grabbed Ryuuzaki's arm to try and stop it, but Ryuuzaki had an iron grip.**

"**The feeling has already left me and now it will leave you" Ryuuzaki said pulling his shirt up with his free hand and Raito saw a hole where Ryuuzaki's heart should be. **

"**You have a whole to" Raito said looking at L surprised. "But of course Raito-kun" L said releasing his white shirt and letting it fall back down to cover his pale chest. **

**Ryuuzaki's free hand came to wipe away the tears on Raito's face gently. "Raito-kun should have said it much earlier" L said sadly and with that pushed his hand deeply into Raito's chest feeling the internal collapse. **

**A loud scream left Raito's mouth and the older boys' eyes widened in shock and pain. L pulled his hand out quickly and put it into his front pocket to retrieve a small object. **

"**If there is ever hope again this should help" Ryuuzaki said and Raito barely heard him over the crashing of the waves. Ryuuzaki put the small object into Raito's chest and leaned forward to put his mouth against Raito's right ear. **

"**I'm sorry" Ryuuzaki said in a low voice and kissed Raito's lips in a short sweet kiss before he got up and began to walk away. Raito's blurry eyes watched Ryuuzaki go and saw the younger man disappear like a mirage in the desert. **

**The water slowly pulled Raito under. The pain was overbearing and Raito let the darkness wash over him and drag him further down into the darkest water not even trying to fight his way up. **

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"Raito wake up already" Sayu said her voice sounding desperate and her hands grasping Raito's shoulders so she could shake him awake.

Raito's eyes shot open and he sat up quickly and ran his hand over his heart. 'So there isn't a whole good' Raito thought laying back down on the bed, his heart still pounding in his ears loudly.

He met Sayu's eyes and could tell she was wondering why the hell her brother had just made sure his heart was still there.

"What are doing in my room" Raito asked his throat feeling sore and wanting to distract Sayu from asking the question in her eyes.

"I was going to the bathroom when I heard a small scream. I followed the sound and it was coming from your room. When I walked in here you were thrashing around and then went completely still" Sayu said having already moved a few feet away so her head would not have been hit by Raito's.

"I'm sorry for worrying you" Raito said and felt a slight dampness to his face. 'I was crying again. This has to stop" Raito thought annoyed that his body was betraying him.

"I'm just glad you are ok, but nii-san are you really ok? It looked like you were making sure your heart was still there" Sayu asked concern laced in her voice.

"I am fine Sayu there is no need to still be worried. It was just a weird dream" Raito said smiling at his sister reassuringly.

"Do you want to tell me" Sayu asked sadly already knowing the answer.

"No" Raito said feeling guilty; he knew Sayu was just worried, but at the moment he just couldn't talk about it.

"Do you want to go apartment hunting with me tomorrow" Raito asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Of course I do, there is no way nii-san is living somewhere I do not approve of" Sayu said smiling brightly.

"Good, now go back to bed because we getting up early tomorrow" Raito said. "How early" Sayu said titling her head to the side.

"We leave at eight am" Raito said firmly.

"But that is so early couldn't we leave at like noon" Sayu said looking at Raito mortified.

"No, now go to bed because I am not going to drag you along tomorrow" Raito said.

"Fine, night nii-san" Sayu said moving off of the bed. "Night" Raito said and waited for Sayu's footsteps to fade away.

'Maybe Ryuuzaki is deliberately pushing me away. And what is with the dream I am having. Ryuuzaki didn't seem to care in earlier dreams, but know he is talking about hope' Raito thought putting a hand over his heart.

'Ryuuzaki doesn't even make sense in dreams. Why the hell are they always sensual dreams to, but it could be because my inner self admitted love for Ryuuzaki' Raito thought staring at his ceiling blankly.

'I love him, why did it settle in now and not months ago things could have been different, Ryuuzaki may have never left' Raito thought mentally kicking himself.

'But at the same time it could be how it is now and what ifs will only make this situation worse. Like that saying goes don't know what you got till it's gone' Raito thought his right hand coming up to grip the pillow lightly.

'If that was your plan all along to make me see how much I would miss Ryuuzaki then you succeeded' Raito thought smiling humorlessly.

'Ryuuzaki could die before I get to see him again' Raito thought unhappily. 'I couldn't handle that. Ryuuzaki being in another country is one thing, but him being dead' Raito thought and felt his throat close up.

No he couldn't think like that. Even through he felt like he was drowning knowing that Ryuuzaki was alive kept him afloat. 'We could still see each other again, but death is final' Raito thought not pleased with his thinking.

'I shouldn't even love the insomniac jerk and if he does tell me that it was a lessen he wanted to teach me Ryuuzaki will be banned from sweets for a month' Raito thought feeling anger began to swirl around in his body.

It was cliché to love and hate the insomniac and Raito was well aware of that. The feeling should not be there, with Ryuuzaki ex-communicating himself, but the feeling still stayed firm and his dream be damned. He was going to find Ryuuzaki and make sure he knew what exactly he was putting Raito through.

Raito turned his head so it was facing outside his window. "Ryuuzaki I will find you" Raito said quietly. He turned onto his side facing the window and tried to fall back asleep.

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It was three forty am in Japan and Ryuuzaki hadn't slept for four days straight now. His original plan had been to take a few hours of sleep that day, but the thought had been destroyed after he had talked to Sayu.

Resting would be a good idea, but the guilt was acting up and when L shut his eyes an image of Raito would appear. A clear look of betrayal on the elder's man's face and no matter how much L tried he could not push the image out of his head.

The guilt was well deserved, he knew that quite well. Not many friends would turn their back on their only friend and refuse to talk to them, or even acknowledge them. 'Even if it is for the friend's best interest' L thought bitterly.

It was moments like these that Ryuuzaki truly hated being L. Controlling justice was a wonderful job, but moments like these where he sacrificed his only true friend for a job did not always seem worth it.

'To become great sacrifices must be made' L thought wearily. It was well known and very true, but this sacrifice he had made continued to come back and hunt him.

It wasn't right that L sleep that night. He had told his best friend sister to tell Raito he didn't miss him at all. 'A big fat lie' L thought glaring at the strawberry cheesecake Watari had left out for him.

'It would be a complete mockery to Raito-kun if I slept tonight. Sleeping on the day I destroyed our friendship, no I don't deserve that' L thought bringing his thumb up to his mouth to bite on it.

'Raito-kun is going to suffer much more than I am and sleeping on this is just an insult to him' L thought biting his thumb hard enough to draw blood.

L pulled his thumb away from his mouth to watch the blood leak out and began to move down his thumb in a slow river. 'Blood takes life and gives all things life, perhaps by removing myself from Raito-kun I have slowly began to destroy him' L thought and then let out a loud humorless laugh.

'Raito-kun would not destroy himself over me; instead, he will rise from the occasion and perhaps become colder to people but he will not break. His pride will not allow such a thing' L thought as his laughs died away and only a humorless smile rested upon his thin lips.

L heard some footsteps moving closer but did not turn around to face Watari.

"Ryuuzaki what is wrong" Watari asked in a concerned voice and L still refused to turn around and face Watari's concerned face. He did not deserve the concern that was aimed at him.

"Nothing is wrong Watari, go back to bed since we have an early appointment with the NPA" L said staring deliberately at the cheesecake.

It was silent for a few minutes and Ryuuzaki knew that Quillish was determining on whether or not to pursue the subject or not.

A small defeated sigh was his answer. "As you wish L, but try to get some sleep" Watari said still not moving from his spot.

"I will try" L said and they both knew he was lying.

Watari did not say anything else and moved back to the room he was staying in that night.

Sleep would symbolize L making peace with his now ruined relationship with Raito.

He would never truly be at peace with this decision he alone had made. Destroying a beautiful friendship all because he could not tell Raito who he really was, he was much more than just a horrible friend.

But the decision was made and he would not go back on it, no matter how much he wanted to call Raito. The first few months had been the hardest. But as time went by he thought of Raito less and for a short while even thought he had beaten his feelings for the older man.

It had not turned out that way. That one call from Sayu had bought all the emotions he had locked up crashing back down upon him. Like a tidal wave wiping out a surfer. All the guilt and love L had been able to push back came back and he felt like it was drowning him.

It had been a huge shock to have all that emotion came back at once and after that phone call Watari had noticed that L was not being as efficient as he usual was. Neither one said anything; since Watari had known the phone call had something to do with Raito.

It was almost taboo. Neither one would ever bring Raito up, after the birthday incident L had simply told Watari that Raito was a name he did not want to hear since there was a 65 chance it would interfere with his work and Watari had agreed not to bring up the name again.

For a short while L had thrown himself into work sometimes taking five cases at once just so he couldn't have any time to think about Raito. It had been working to until Sayu had called and was making him re-think where he stood as L and Ryuuzaki.

He couldn't be L and Ryuuzaki, one of them had to go. Even though he had chosen Ryuuzaki to go, he couldn't bring himself to fully become L. Moments like these where he envied robots from movies for not feeling.

Feelings got in the way and he could not become the best detective in the world with emotions holding him back. L could be apathetic with everything expect for Raito.

His love for Raito made him weak.

L stood up from the couch and raised his left leg up in the air before bringing it horizontal down onto the thin dark brown coffee table. The table snapped in half and L watched the as the wood splintered all around him and the cheesecake fell into the center of the broken table.

All the pent up anger he held against himself was released against the now broken table.

Watari did not come back out even through a loud crack sound had erupted during the process of destroying the coffee table and L was grateful that Watari had not came out to ask about it.

Paying for the table would be easy, but it would not be easy for him to let go of Raito. He had been doing so well for awhile and now it all came crashing back, all because of a single phone call.

His resolve should not have been so easy to break, but it ultimately had been and he would have to rebuild all over again.

L ignored his throbbing foot and the splinters that had became stuck in his foot. Instead, his focus reminded on the broken table and wondered again if the decision he had made had truly been the right one or not.

End of chapter 4

I know I lied the two didn't meet in this chapter. I swear I had every intention in doing so but you know things change and it didn't quite seem to work out that way. I swear that they will meet in the chapter.

I have no idea how yen works so I am going with American currency.

So how was it? I am really interested in knowing what you all thought about it, especially the dream sequences. I hope they weren't cliché. Thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter! Makes me very happy to read reviews. So please review!

I kind of re-edited it so yay, I think. Anyways hope the scenes I slightly altered were all to your liking and for those of you who have not left a review, please review and tell me what you think.

Rain angst


	5. Apartment hunting

Title- The choices we make

Warning- OOC'ness

Flashback in _italics_

Dreams in **bold**

Talking ""

Thinking ''

So sorry about taking a long time to update; I have had writers block with this story, but thanks to Fouloldron for giving me ideas. This chapter is dedicated to you, hope you and everyone else enjoys it.

Did anyone else go to Otakon? Kappei Yamaguchi was there! I love him, for those of you who don't know he does L's Japanese voice. I didn't get to get his autograph which still upsets me. Damn line had to be closed three fricken' hours before he even came out.

Anyways enjoy the chapter!

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The sun came shining brightly into Raito's bedroom. He glanced over at his clock to see the numbers flashing six a.m. Sleep had eluded him that night and knowing he wouldn't get anymore sleep Raito stood up and grabbed clothes for the day before making his way into the bathroom. He stripped down to nothing and turned the water all the way over to the hot side. Hot water came spraying on his smooth skin. He titled his head up to let the water fall on his face. It was on rare occasions that Raito would actually turn the water on this hot.

'To find a person one needs an idea as to where the other is. Considering Ryuuzaki is evasive he is more than likely not going to use his real name. Especially if my theory is correct and he is L. Right now L is in the states and if I was L I would constantly be moving around. More than likely being in hotel rooms, since buying a house or apartment would make him have to sign a lease and it would be difficult to come up with credit history in a short amount of time. Hotel's don't require that, as long as a person pays they are content.' Raito deliberated grabbing the strawberry shampoo bottle and pouring some onto his hands. 'I'm going to have to get a new brand' Raito thought making a mental note. His hands starting to massage his head before he put his head back under the water to let the shampoo wash away. 'L would not be staying in cheap hotels. The locks on the doors are a lot easier to break. If I was L I would be staying at those really nice hotels. I'll hack into the computers of the hotels that are around the NPA building and see if there are any names that Ryuuzaki might use for cover.' Raito grabbed the soap off of the rack and began to wash his body, the whole bathroom becoming foggy from the steam emitting from the shower head.

'I'll put that plan into motion today, since dad thinks the case he is working on may be over soon.' Raito decided rubbing the soap on his chest, glad to at least have a contingency plan.

The shower's water became cold, so Raito shut it off hoping Sayu wouldn't take a shower or else he would have to deal with her complaining about all the hot water being taken up.

Raito's hand grabbed the towel that was hanging outside of the stall. He dried off his hair first before moving it over his body. Once he was satisfied with how dry he was Raito stepped out of the shower and changed into his clothes for the day.

Finishing up in the bathroom, he moved back to his room and looked at the clock that now read six forty five. He would let Sayu sleep for a bit longer, there was no need to wake her up. After all she might figure out his true reason for wanting to move. Though Raito highly doubted she would figure it out, but he couldn't risk it. No one could know.

Raito turned his computer on and began looking up hotels that were near the NPA building. 'Let's see where you're hiding Ryuuzaki' Raito thought as he hacked into the first hotel list a light smile crossing his face.

A small knock was heard at Raito's door. Minimizing the pages, Raito pulled up his e-mail page. "It's open" Raito said glancing at his e-mail page and acting like he had been looking through that the whole time.

"Nii-san you used up all the hot water." Sayu accused walking into the room, her hair still wet from the shower she had just taken. Raito looked slightly surprised as he noticed the time on his computer. He didn't think he had been hacking into hotels for that long.

"Are you ready to go, it's already eight o'clock." Sayu said moving further into Raito's room. "Yeah, I'll be down in a minute." Raito said shooting her a smile, Sayu still looked annoyed as she left the room to grab a quick breakfast.

He couldn't leave his computer on, since someone might track it back to him. And it wouldn't exactly be the easiest thing to explain to his family. 'I was just hacking into a hotel's guest list to see if I could get an idea on where Ryuuzaki was. That would work so well.' Raito thought getting the urge to roll his eyes.

He waited a moment to make sure Sayu wouldn't come back in before he bought up the files and glanced through the occupants list one last time. 'Nothing.' Raito thought disappointed before he made sure to leave no tracks and got out of the hotel's computer banks with ease. Shutting off the computer, Raito made his way down stairs.

"So is there anything in particular you are looking for." Sayu asked as she took in a mouthful of cinnamon toast crunch. "Two bedrooms, in a decent neighborhood, and a nice view." Raito said as he moved over to the coffee pot and was relieved that Sayu had brewed some coffee for him.

Raito poured himself a cup and smelled in the aroma of the bitterness. This would have to get him through the day, or else he would not be a pleasant person to be around.

Sayu finished off her bowl of cereal and placed it in the sink.

"Nii-san if you don't hurry up, how are we going to get the apartment of your dreams before someone else gets it?" Sayu asked as she stood at the entrance of the kitchen. Raito sipped his coffee at a leisurely pace before finishing it off and placing it the dish washer.

"Ready to go?" Raito asked as he walked by his sister.

"I've been waiting for you." Sayu said tapping her foot in annoyance.

"My apologies Sayu." Raito said smiling at his sister as he walked by her so he could slip on his shoes.

"Whatever, let's go." Sayu said putting on a pair of black boots and grabbing her winter coat. Raito smiled as he put on a pair of tennis shoes; before he slid on his beige coat and the two left the house. Raito locked the door and waited for Sayu to re-adjust her purse strap.

"Let's head to the metro center, the first apartment I want to look at is only three blocks away from my school." Raito signed as he started to walk toward the metro center. "That would be quite convenient for you, if you are able to live there." Sayu replied walking next to Raito. "It would be, but the price recently changed and I'm not sure if it is in my price range." Raito replied as the two continued in silence toward the metro.

"Did you see Ryuuga Hideki's new movie _The man who fell in love_. It was so amazing and you got to see his bare chest!" Sayu exclaimed letting a dreamy smile cross her face.

"Is that all you noticed in the movie" He teased his younger sister.

"Of course not, but Ryuuga-kun can sweep me of my feet any day, though it might be kind of hard since he is filming in America at the moment." Sayu said keeping the smile planted on her face. "Perhaps you will get a chance later on to meet him." Raito said teasingly.

"One day." Sayu agreed wistfully.

They both walked into the metro center and went straight for the red train, pulling out their metro cards. The lines were long, but moved fast enough to be bearable. The metro had just arrived as Raito and Sayu made their way quickly down the escalator to make sure they made the train.

The doors shut once Raito made his way through them. All the seats were taken and people were standing cramped up against one another. "No where but Japan." Sayu cheered happily and Raito rolled his eyes. "All major cities have metro's that are this full." Raito pointed out. "True, but most other countries don't have adults reading manga." Sayu pointed out and Raito had to nod his head in agreement with that.

A greasy looking teenager who had obviously dyed their head to a blonde color scooted over to Raito. "So is that you girlfriend?" The teen asked letting a creepy smile settle upon his face. Both Raito and Sayu looked mortified. "No it is my sister." Raito replied politely but prayed the acne covered teen would not ask him anything else.

"So how about you and me go out pretty boy?" The teen requested and Sayu turned her head to the side trying to stifle a laugh. "I don't swing that way." Raito said keeping his polite act up. 'I only go that way for Ryuuzaki' Raito mentally added but no one needed to know that.

"Come on I can show you a good time." the teen said while groping Raito's butt.

Raito turned his attention to the male and smiled. "Would you kindly remove your hand before I break it." Raito threatened nicely. "Sure." The guy shuddered, letting go and moving back into the crowed. "Nii-san can be so threatening when he smiles like that." Sayu pointed out with a smile on her face.

"No one gropes my ass and gets away without a threat." Raito said his eyes narrowing in annoyance. Sayu laughed lightly. "Only Ryuuzaki gets to grope it right?" Sayu asked teasingly. "If he ever gets back into my good graces." Raito muttered and Sayu grinned at that. "I'm sure he'll try." Sayu said laughing loudly. Raito looked annoyed at the idea but couldn't help but agree with Sayu. After all Ryuuzaki had tried it before.

The metro finally stopped and the two got off quickly, not wanting to be part of the crowd. Raito was relieved that the two were in the top twenty to get out of the station. The streets were still crowed but not as bad as the station.

Raito led the way to the building that was only two blocks away from the metro.

It was a tall building that had thirty floors. Raito made his up the first set of stairs to go to the landlord's apartment, Sayu moving behind him. The two made it to the first apartment door and Raito knocked on the door. No one answered at first. "Are you sure they know where coming?" Sayu asked looking at the doors cursorily; Raito sent a glare at his sister. "Yes I called them yesterday and scheduled an appointment for today." Raito spat as he knocked on the door again.

A moment passed before the door opened. "I don't want whatever it is you're selling!" A women's voice said as she shut the door. Raito's eye twitched as he knocked on the door again. The door swung open. "Look pal I don't want whatever the hell you are selling!" She said looking annoyed. "I talked to you on the phone yesterday; you said that you would show me the apartment you have up for rent." Raito explained in a patient tone.

Her eyebrows furrowed together in confusion before realization dawned upon her face. "Oh, aww crap, I am so sorry, I'll be right out." She said shutting the door. Sayu and Raito heard a few things crashing and falling over before there was a loud crash and the door swung open again. "Please follow me." She said making her way out of the apartment and locking the door. "I am Yuka Mizuno. Now rent is due on the first day of every month. If you wish to pay for the next month's rent early, you may also give it to me on that day" Yuka said as they moved to the elevators. Now it is five thousand dollars a month and if you pay your rent late then an extra three hundred dollars is needed. Also if you are three months behind with rent I kick you out of the apartment." Yuka said as the three stepped into the elevator.

Yuka pushed the button for the thirteenth floor. "Now the rooms are in excellent condition and each comes with two bedrooms and two bathrooms. There is a small kitchen and a medium sized living room and the balcony looks over the city. Feel free to explore the apartment and tell me what you think." Yuka said as the elevator doors opened. The three moved over to apartment 1313.

"This is a really superstitious apartment number." Sayu said looking at the room forebodingly. "It is the only one we have available." Yuka said as she opened the door and allowed Raito and Sayu to enter before her. The three took of their shoes and put on the slippers that were already prepared.

"This way to the bedrooms." Yuka said as she led the two down a hallway. The first one was off to the right while the second one was at the end of the hall. The bathroom was across from the first bedroom. Raito entered the room first with Sayu going straight for the closet. "Both rooms have a walk in closet through this one is bigger. The second bathroom is in the left corner of the room" Yuka said as she pointed to the other bathroom.

The room was spacious and had two windows. Raito made his way to the other bathroom and opened the door. It was a mediums sized bathroom. The sink was on the left side and went covered that entire side of the wall. The toilet was directly in the center of the bathroom and Raito looked over to see a shower stall on the right side of the bathroom. He went over and opened the door to make sure that there was no fungus or mold. There was a place to sit in the stall and had a small shelf to hold shampoo and soap.

Raito nodded his head approvingly before exiting the bathroom. "Nii-san come and look at the closet." Sayu called. Raito made his way out of the bathroom and walked five feet to the closet door.

Sayu was looking around mystified. Making his way into the closet, Sayu turned to grin at him. "This closet may be able to actually fit all of your clothes in it." Sayu said smiling at Raito brightly. "It may indeed" Raito agreed. "You do have two of every shirt of every color and shoes to match" Sayu said and Raito turned his attention to Sayu. "You own a lot more shoes than me, I only have fifteen pairs" Raito said in an offended tone.

"Let's go look at the rest of the apartment. The walls look really nice for being white. Do you think they did a paint job?" Sayu asked as the two walked out of the closet. "I'm not sure." Raito answered and paused in his walking when he saw Sayu stop after exiting the closet. "Are you ok?" Raito asked looking at his sister concerned.

A huge smile broke across Sayu's face. "Nii-san just came out of the closet!" Sayu said giggling. Raito's shoulders stiffened. "It really isn't that funny." Raito hissed, walking out of the room with a laughing Sayu at his heels.

The two entered the next bedroom. The carpet was beige color and there was no furniture in the place, but that didn't really matter. Raito made his way out of the room and examined the bathroom which had a tub instead of a shower. It looked big enough to fit a full grown human body in it.

"What do you think of the place?" Yuka asked as she saw the two come into the living room. "It does appear to be a good apartment. I am still going to look at a few others though, to see if any of them are closer to my price range." Raito said and Yuka nodded her head in understanding. "I can't promise that no one else will take it but there is a chance that if you decide to come back it will be open to ya'." Yuka said.

"I understand, I'm almost done." Raito said as he made his way over to the balcony that overlooked the city. The cold air was hitting his face and it was a relaxing feeling. "It's a nice view." Sayu said as she stepped onto the balcony. "It is." Raito agreed and the two stood out there in silence for a few more moments before re-entering the apartment.

"Give me a call if you want the apartment." Yuka said as the three put on their shoes and Yuka locked up the apartment. Yuka got off at the first floor, Raito and Sayu got off on the ground level.

"Where is the next apartment?" Sayu questioned as the two walked down the street that was becoming increasingly crowed.

"It is about eight blocks away." Raito said looking down at his clock which read nine forty six. "After we are done with looking at the next apartment do you want to go get branch." Raito asked turning his head slightly too met Sayu's eyes.

"Are you treating?" Sayu asked raising an eyebrow. "Why should I?" Raito asked smiling slightly. "Because you made me get up early just to come apartment hunting with you." Sayu replied like it was the most obvious thing.

"You willingly came with me." Raito pointed out. "That's not fair, Nii-san I got up at an unholy hour to come with you and you would neglect buying me food." Sayu whined. "You were not really that helpfully at the last place. The only thing you did was make a gay joke." Raito said stopping at the cross walk, pulling his jacket closer to himself to try and ward of the biting wind.

"Nii-san you are so cruel to me!" Sayu whined, her cheeks already red from the cold. "And I was about to change my mind." Raito said as the two moved across the walk way. "Really, come on now you have to buy me some food. I'll scold Ryuuzaki, or I can help you buy furniture." Sayu said. "You do realize that furniture is a lot more expensive than buying a meal." Raito said and Sayu went quiet. "The scolding Ryuuzaki is still up in the air." Sayu said. "You have done that already." Raito pointed out again.

"Nii-san stop making me lose the argument!" Sayu whined as the two passed another block. "Alight, I will concede and buy you a meal, but you have to withhold from making any more gay jokes today." Raito said sternly. "Fine, but I hope you know you're a kill joy." Sayu said pouting.

"It is dually noted." Raito said and he two continued to walk toward the other building. "You know the last building wasn't all that bad and Mizuno-san was funny." Sayu smiled brightly at her brother. "She was interesting." Raito said vaguely.

"She was." Sayu agreed not prolonging the pointless comments.

The next building came into the view as the two made their way over to it. A young man wearing a rainbow shirt with tight leather jeans was standing just outside the entrance of the apartment complex.

"You're right on time Yagami-san." The man said in a high pitched tone. "It is nice to see you as well Shiro-san." Raito said smiling politely. The man's eyes slid up and down Raito's body while licking his lips. "This way…" He said turning around and walking up a few flights of stairs with Raito and Sayu right behind him.

"Now the rent is due at the end of every month and if it is late than a fifty dollar fee is due. Though there are other ways you can pay me back." Shiro said running his eyes up and down Raito's body. Sayu stifled a giggle and Raito's smile became tight. "I would rather pay the straight way." Raito said keeping his tone light. Sayu burst into giggles. "You're straight?" Shiro said looking surprised. "Yes I am." Raito said half truthfully.

"Man I thought for sure you were gay. I've never seen a straight man wear clothes that are so neat looking along with having every strand of hair in perfect place" Shiro said amused. "You should see how many facial products he has." Sayu said happily. Raito narrowed his eyes. "Not helping Sayu." Raito said annoyed, but not denying the fact about how many facial products he had. "Perhaps you don't know about your own gayness yet?" Shiro said happily. "We are here to discuss the apartment not my sexuality." Raito said with a slight tinge of annoyance still in his voice.

"Of course, this is a one bedroom apartment, but it does have a bathroom, a kitchen, and a living room. Not to mention the view is fabulous" Shiro said excitedly. "Feel free to look around if you have any questions, or want a favor of some kind..." Shiro said staring at Raito's crouch before meeting his eyes, "…feel free to ask." He finished in a sensual tone.

"Let's go look around Sayu." Raito said ignoring the other man in the room who only looked about twenty, a year older than Raito.

The two made their way into the bedroom first. It was larger than the other bedroom but it did not have a walk in closet. "Let's see how the rest of the apartment looks." Sayu said after Raito observed the room thoroughly. "The paint is chipping" Raito said blandly. "Perhaps it is only in that one corner" Sayu said starting toward the door. The two moved out of the room and into the kitchen. A small stove was in the corner with a fridge next to it. Raito leaned down to make sure there wasn't anything crawling around on the floor. A small movement caught Raito's attention as he kneeled closer to the ground to see what it was. "It's a cockroach!" Raito screeched in a high pitched voice that Sayu had never heard her brother use.

"Where leaving!" Raito said grabbing Sayu's wrist and dragging her toward the door. "Where are you two going? Don't you want to stay longer? I can offer you two a good time." Shiro said sounding hurt that they were already leaving. "You should call an exterminator." Raito said and with that left the apartment complex.

As soon as the two were off of the apartment grounds, Raito released his sister hand. "We are never going back there." Raito said sternly. "Why not? Because Shiro-san kept hitting on you?" Sayu asked hiding her smile. "That apartment is unclean" Raito said shuddering. "From what I saw of the outside it was defiantly a better view than the last one." Sayu said.

"That may be so, but I am not in the mood to deal with a perverted landlord." Raito said as he and Sayu made their way to the cross walk. "But you handled Ryuuzaki-kun so well, I'm sure Shiro-san would be much easier to avoid." Sayu said grabbing Raito's hand and pulling him into the direction of WacDonalds. "At the same time he could kick me out because I won't do any sexual favors for him. In the long run it is much easier this way." Raito said allowing his sister to drag him.

"You like ruining my points." Sayu said sounding offended.

"It's my job as your big brother." Raito pointed out. "Don't look now Raito but your ego is inflating again." Sayu said rolling her eyes.

"It's likes to run at maximum capacity." Raito said as Sayu slowed her pace and Raito reclaimed his arm. "I'm shocked that more people don't know about your smartass side." Sayu said causing Raito to smile at her.

"You're just lucky." Raito responded as the two walked into the death trap fast food restaurant. "Are we going to be looking at more apartments after eating?" Sayu asked as the two made their way to the line. "Of course there are still five other apartments I want to look at before making up my mind." Raito said and Sayu let out a small sigh realizing how long the day was truly going to be.

OoOoOoO

"I'm exhausted!" Sayu cried, falling onto the couch. "I don't ever want to go near another gay man again." Raito retorted, placing himself on the chair across from Sayu. "How many gropes did you get?" Sayu asked raising her head slightly to look at Raito.

"Ten."' Raito said flatly. "You do have quite the butt." Sayu said smiling.

"I would prefer it if people keep their hands to themselves." Raito said closing his eyes.

"No one can resist such a butt; I know Ryuuzaki-kun had control issues." Sayu said smiling lightly.

"Sayu, Ryuuzaki did grope me." Raito said with a little sigh. "Really?!" Sayu said sitting up on the couch. "Yeah when we were thirteen, Ryuuzaki and I were sharing a bed when I felt a hand grope my butt. He had a habit of doing that whenever he got the chance." Raito said letting a small smile creep onto his face. Sayu smiled lightly at Raito not wanting to say anything to ruin Raito's reminiscing.

"Do you know which apartment you want to get?" Sayu asked putting her feet on the ground. "The first one." Raito answered, opening his eyes and sitting straighter.

"That was my favorite one as well. Though I think the seventh one would be nice as well." Sayu said innocently.

"No it would not. The landlord's approach was coming on way to strongly and did you see what he was wearing?" Raito said sounding offended by the very idea. "Just because he wasn't wearing a designer brand?" Sayu said looking slightly confused. "That is part of the reason and the other one is he started stripping when you had left to go use the bathroom." Raito said shuddering.

"Nii-san, you need to tell me these things while I am still in the same area of those guys!" Sayu said sounding upset. "Why? You want them to strip for you?" Raito asked folding his hands neatly in his lap. "Nothing like that, I want to be there so I can tease you." Sayu responded truthfully. Raito rolled his eyes at his sister.

"I see that you two are finally back." Sachiko said walking into the room. "I should have dinner ready soon." Sachiko told them, smiling over at the two. "Have you decided on an apartment yet?" Sachiko inquired as she started setting the table. 'Is she implying that I took too much time?' Raito thought but decided that the thought wasn't worth thinking about.

"Yes, I will go with the first one we went to." Raito said standing up and walking over to the table. "I can finish setting the table, the fish looks ready." Raito glanced over at the stove. "Thank you." Sachiko said as she made her way over to the stove.

"Nii-san, can I ask you a question?" Sayu asked sounding hesitant. 'Why is she being so hesitant now? It must be about Ryuuzaki.' Raito thought, his hands never stopping as he placed the last fork down in its proper place.

"You may." Raito said not wanting Sayu to lecture him again about friendship and love. "Do you want to see Ryuuzaki again?" Sayu asked meeting Raito's eyes in a steady gaze. Raito's eyes moved down to the plates to make sure all the plates were facing upwards with the cherry blossoms designs. He didn't know how to answer. At first he had wanted nothing more than to see Ryuuzaki again, but now he wasn't so sure.

At the time he hadn't thought about feelings being a weakness. The only thing that had been running through his mind was that Ryuuzaki was gone and all he wanted was his best friend back. But know things were different. With the absences of Ryuuzaki he realized that the depression he had gone through was so stupid. He was not a weak person, he didn't need to rely on someone else to keep his sanity. Ryuuzaki had been a release from boredom and even though it was back he would rather have the boredom than having to see Ryuuzaki again.

What he felt for Ryuuzaki is a weakness. In the long run it would hurt him more than it would help him. His father had told him stories of criminals using officer's family members to get the officer to comply with their demands. All of them listened to the criminal, not one of them would stand up for justice. In those instances family was more important than justice and Raito did not need to have more people to worry about. He did not want to choose family, or love, over justice. It would go against everything he believed in.

People were not supposed to fall away from the right path just because of an emotional attachment to another person. It only hurt people and he refused to be one of those people who would have to go through such a thing. L was an admirable person. He had no attachments to others. Criminals could not use family against L because no one knew who he was. The detective kept people at a distance and that was how people should conduct their work. Business and pleasure were not two things that should be mixed together.

Raito raised his eyes to meet with Sayu a small genuine smile gracing his thin lips as his answer left his mouth. "Yes, I do" Raito said simply and took a seat at the table.

He was a hypocrite. Even though he knew that personal attachments would hurt him, he needed to see Ryuuzaki again. If he wanted to fully be free of Ryuuzaki's grasp he needed to see the man once again and officially end it.

Yes, once he had that closure he could completely shut of his feelings and pretend he cared while secretly being free of emotional attachments.

He would continue his search for Ryuuzaki and track him down, so he could end it. The dreams would stop and after feeling like he was drowning, Raito would rise to the top of the ocean and finally take in that deep breath of air he longed for. Because the feeling of drowning had not yet left and once he was able to breathe again, he would sever all emotional ties and at long last he would be free. Sayu asked no other questions and Raito politely told his mother he would be moving out of the house within the week.

Once he was out of the house the dreams would stop and he would start his journey back to the surface of the water and after his confrontation with Ryuuzaki, he would leave the attachments and finally be free. The rest of the night passing in relative silence, Raito moved upstairs to his room to go to bed. He was exhausted and after a good night's rest he would begin his search again for the man who refused to let him breathe.

OoOoOoO

**He was underwater, still in the icy depths of the ocean unable to see any light. "After the last dream you had of me I thought you wouldn't come back." A bored voice said behind Raito. **

**Raito spun around to see Ryuuzaki not wearing any shirt. All the cracks were still over the younger's man's body. He turned his eyes away when he saw the large hole where Ryuuzaki's heart should be. **

"**I didn't want to come back." Raito said through his mind. A slow smile graced Ryuuzaki's mouth. "Yet here you are." L said looking amused, his left thumb hanging loosely by his mouth. "I get the feeling you're the one who brings me here." Raito said not liking the way Ryuuzaki made it sound like Raito was here by his own choice. **

"**I have no such power; I am simply a creation of your mind Raito-kun. You dream of me because you want me." L said stretching his arms ahead of him and pushing himself closer to Raito. "Or I want my closure a lot faster than what it is going to take me to find you." Raito said un-amused by Ryuuzaki. **

"**That may be, but you are not even close to reaching closure." L said bringing his bony finger to run along the hole he had created along Raito's bare chest. **

**A shiver ran through Raito's body at the contact. "Why do you say that Ryuuzaki? After all in my last dream you destroyed my heart. Why wouldn't I seek closure from this relationship?" Raito asked letting his arms stay loosely by his side. **

**A cat like smile graced L's face as he pushed his hand into Raito's chest. A small gasp elicited from Raito's thought as L pulled out a heart. His heart was beating slowly in L's hand the blood mingling with the water tinting the area Ryuuzaki was in to turn a light shade of red. Raito didn't understand his heart was supposed to be gone; Ryuuzaki had plunged his hand into Raito's chest and broke it.**

"**Does Raito-kun know the reason why his heart is still beating?" L asked bringing the heart up to his own chest and letting it linger by his own hole. **

"**No." Raito said never letting the heart leave his sight. "Oh, Raito truly does not remember our last encounter, I'm hurt." L said bringing the heart up to his mouth and licking it slowly. A shudder ran through Raito and even through Ryuuzaki was licking his heart he found it to be disgusting and yet erotic. **

**It was such an intimate lick as through Ryuuzaki was making sure no damage would be done to the heart. 'Wait, Ryuuzaki, he put something into my chest.' Raito thought as his eyes finally left his heart and moved down to his own bare chest. **

"**I see Raito-kun remembers now." L said bringing the heart away from him and grasping the heart tighter. Raito's eyes winded as a searing pain ripped in the area where his heart should be. "It would be so easy to break it again" L said glaring down at the heart in his hand. Gripping his chest, Raito lifted his eyes to meet with L's. "You would break it again so soon?" Raito asked his voice wheezing from the pain. **

**L smiled as he replaced Raito's heart in the older man's chest. "You are a bastard!" Raito said angrily, but L just smiled as he leant over and kissed above the hole in apology. **

"**What was it Ryuuzaki? What did you put into my chest?" Raito asked deciding to ignore Ryuuzaki's silent apology. **

**A smile crept upon Ryuuzaki's face as he wrapped his lanky arms around Raito waist pulling the older man closer to himself. **

"**I cannot tell you yet, but Raito-kun should know?" L began as he moved to kiss Raito's lips softly before he moved back up to place his lips against Raito's ears. **

"**I have no intention of letting Raito ever get rid of me permanently." L said nipping at Raito's ear and with that L's image began to slowly fade again.**

"**Why won't you let me go?" Raito asked feeling anger course through his body.**

"**Simple, Raito is mine and no one else can have him." Ryuuzaki said, his blank eyes staring into Raito's own as his image faded completely away. **

**Raito shut his eyes and screamed.**

OoOoOoO

Raito shot up from the bed, his shirt damp from a cold sweat. 'He still has the nerve to appear in my dreams and tell me that I'm his, the bastard.' Raito thought as he turned around and began to hit his pillow never uttering a sound from anger. It was four in the morning and if he didn't want his family to learn of his distress he would just have to remain in silence and let the anger fester inside. 'We'll see who owns who Ryuuzaki.' Raito thought with one last punch to his pillow.

Taking in a deep breath of air Raito tried to calm his mind down. 'It is only a dream; Ryuuzaki is not really in the dream. It is only my head creating an image of him.' Raito chanted to himself to calm himself down.

'That makes it worse through. My subconscious is telling me that I don't want to be over Ryuuzaki and belong to him. No it will end. This has to end.' Raito thought determinedly as he got up to change his shirt, he couldn't take a shower yet or he'd wake up his family. He wasn't ready to explain to them why he was up so early. Folding the shirt neatly and putting it in the hamper Raito put on a fresh shirt and lay back down on his bed.

His eyes reminded on the ceiling for the rest of the night falling in and out of a restless sleep.

The clock read six a.m. and Raito decided to get up. Sleep had eluded him for the rest of the night except for patches of exhaustion that would take over for a few minutes. He made his way over to the computer and turned it on before stepping away to go to the bathroom and take his daily shower.

The water came out cold. At the moment Raito couldn't bring himself to care as he turned the water all the way over to hot. A moment passed before the burning water came pouring onto Raito. 'I don't want to belong to anyone. People who claim to be in love are weak. They rely on that one person to make them feel alive. It's all so pointless. Love is weakness and I will never make myself that weak again.' Raito thought titling his head up to let the water spray across his face.

"No, never again." Raito said to himself quietly.

He showered in silence for the rest of the time, not letting his mind wander back to Ryuuzaki because that would be giving Ryuuzaki power over him and Raito had done that enough times already. He was going to break the habit and not let the other control his life as much.

Drying off and putting on new clothes for the day, Raito moved back to his own room after fixing his hair to perfection.

His computer had a black screen and Raito grabbed the mouse and moved it around to see his ocean screen saver that Sayu had placed it on. 'Maybe that is why I dream about the sea so much' Raito thought to himself as he pulled up the Hyatt Regency Tokyo hotel list.

Hours went by and Raito was growing frustrated there was no name that had struck him and it was already ten o'clock a.m. He was going to have to get off soon or else his family would be suspicious of him not coming down sooner for breakfast.

'I'll check one last hotel list before going down' Raito decided bringing up the Hilton Tokyo guest list. Raito's eyes scanned the list about to exit out when a name caught his interest. 'Ryuuga Hideki. Sayu said that he was in America and even through the singer isn't the only one who had that name it is still an uncommon name to have. It is even spelled the same way. Ryuuzaki you make it so easy at times.' Raito thought, memorizing the room number before getting out of the system and making his way downstairs to eat breakfast.

"Morning sleepy head." Sayu said smiling at Raito. "Good morning, Sayu, Okaa-san." Raito said smiling at the two women in his life.

He ate a bowl of cheerios while drinking a cup of coffee without adding anything to it. "Where are you going today since it is Sunday?" Sachiko asked her two children. "I have a few errands to run and father said he would meet me at three to sign the apartment's forms." Raito said finishing of his coffee.

"How about you Sayu?" Sachiko asked turning her attention to her daughter. "I'm going to the mall with Kikyo." Sayu replied excitedly.

Sachiko smiled at the two of them before moving into the kitchen to clean the dirty dishes. Raito moved into the kitchen and put his bowl and cup in the sink. "I'll see you later mom." Raito said moving out of the kitchen. "Goodbye." Sachiko called over her shoulder.

OoOoOoO

Raito moved to the metro to get onto a train that was heading to Shinjuku.

The metro came to a stop and he made his way through the crowd. Making a left from the station, he started walking down three blocks. The Hilton came into view and a small smile crossed Raito's face.

Walking in through the front doors Raito made his way to the elevator. The elevator rang as the doors opened. Raito stepped in and hit the button for the 31 floor. People got on and off but by the time Raito reached the floor he was the only one remaining in the elevator.

The doors slid open slowly. Raito moved out of the elevator and walked over to door 3122. There was a small peep hole allowing the person to look out and see who stood on the other side. Raito decided to ignore the thought of stepping away from it. L probably has the security cameras hooked to his laptop. With that thought in mind Raito raised his hand and knocked on the door.

OoOoOoO

"That is why Toshio Niwa is the murderer. You have all the evidence you need and it is up to all of you to catch him." L said through the computer screen in the NPA room. "Thank you for all your help." Soichiro said bowing to L.

L cut of the connection without another word. He would wait for Watari to come back to the hotel and the two would leave. They had to delay their meeting by a day because the police had been gathering the final evidence to prove Niwa's guilt.

There was a loud knock on the door. L looked over at the door cautiously. He hadn't ordered anything and it wasn't like anyone knew he was here. 'Only one solution to this.' L thought hacking into the hotels camera.

His breath caught in his throat. Raito was standing outside of his hotel room; his childhood friend who he hadn't seen for over a year was here. Looking neatly pressed in his denim blue jeans and maroon shirt wearing his beige jacket. 'Raito is here.' L kept chanting in his head still unable to breathe. He lifted his hand up to the screen and let it run along the image of Raito tracing the younger man's face with his bony index finger.

'I'm going to have to get rid of him without him fully knowing I am here.' L thought bringing his thumb up to his mouth to nibble on it.

Raito knocked on the door again. "Ryuuzaki I know you are in there, open the door already!" Raito said though the door loudly. L stood up from his computer and made his way to the door. He placed his hand on the door and looked through the peep hole to see Raito having a big head and small body. A small grin formed on L's face. 'At least the peep hole shows Raito's true self.' Ryuuzaki thought amused.

"Ryuuzaki I want to see you." Raito said quietly hoping that Ryuuzaki did not hear him. It was an honest thought. His desire of seeing Ryuuzaki outweighed the hurt feeling of being left behind. L stepped away from the door in slight shock. 'He still wants to see me after I left him without a word. It would be so easy. I would no longer have to feel regret about leaving him.' L thought his hand hovering over the door knob. 'My decision of leaving Raito has to be the right one. This job entitles solitude. It was a choice I made a long time ago and I will not change my decision, not even for you Raito' L thought withdrawing his hand away from the door.

L looked at Raito one more time, enjoying how close the two were. Only a door was separating them and if he opened that door he could wrap his arms around Raito and kiss those plush lips again. 'No I can't think like that!' L scolded himself as he moved back to his computer. 'Raito I'm sorry.' L mentally thought as he triggered a fire alarm to go off. The two other doors on his floors had their occupants rush out with a man grabbing Raito's arm. "There's a fire, young man, come on!" The man yelled yanking Raito along.

L saw Raito look up at the camera with a look of disappointment etched onto his face. He turned away.

The building evacuated with L the only remaining occupant. Twenty minutes passed and L heard the door click open and close. "The hotel staff says that a person must have triggered the fire alarm since there was no fire at all." Watari said hanging his hat up. "How un-expected." L said shutting of his laptop and packing it up.

"You didn't leave the room." Watari said and L understood what Watari was getting at. "Raito-kun was here." L finally said not moving from his position. L felt more than saw Watari's eyes widened. "He found you." Watari said shock seeping into his voice. "I don't know how but we should raise our security from now on." L said standing up.

"Of course L. Is there anything you would like before we leave?" Watari asked kindly.

"No." L said looking over at Watari. "We should leave within the hour." L said walking away. "Of course." Watari said not bringing up the subject of Raito. If L wanted to talk about it, he would have said more. Watari wished that there was something he could do for his grandson, but L had been distancing himself for years and all he could do was offer his grandson silent support.

OoOoOoO

Raito stared up at the Hilton building, wishing he could bring himself to go in again. He knew that Ryuuzaki was in there. In that room he had been standing in front of. He had felt Ryuuzaki's presence just behind the door.

'I'm going to have to come up with another method to see him again.' Raito thought digging his hands further into his pockets, the cold air nipping at his skin. Glancing up at the building one last time, Raito turned and walked away.

The streets were crowded but Raito didn't care. He made his way to the metro center and rode to his college. It was only ten thirty when he arrived and Raito headed into a café to kill time. It was relatively a quiet shop that had Mozart playing on the speakers. "What can I get for you?" The girl asked looking up at Raito. "A medium black coffee" Raito said pulling his wallet out of his beige coat pocket. "That will be 2.50." The girl said ringing it up.

"Do you know if this café is hiring?" Raito asked as he handed over his money. "You want to work here?" The girl said looking surprised. Raito wanted to roll his eyes; why else would he be asking. "Yes, it is close to my apartment and I need to find a job to help pay for the rent." Raito said smiling charmingly. "We do have a position open and I can give you an application to fill out." The girl said handing one over to Raito. "Thank you." Raito told her politely as he accepted his coffee as well and made his way to the back of the café not wanting to deal with any people.

He found a pen lying on the table and began to fill out the application. It took him only ten minutes since he had no previous work experience.

'Maybe I shouldn't have left the hotel. Ryuuzaki will probably raise his security, but then again there is a chance I could met him again. When I become a police cop there is a chance I will have to work with L on a case and at that time I will find him again. Then this dance we are doing can finally end.' Raito thought taking a sip of his coffee.

He re-looked over his application to make sure all his information was right. It was done more out of boredom than to actually make sure the information was right. Raito looked out of the window and watched the world go by. Hoping if he stared out of the window long enough Ryuuzaki would appear. 'What a stupid idea.' Raito thought bringing his cup up to lips and taking in a few gulps.

An hour passed and Raito had long since finished his coffee. He stood up from his spot and dropped of the application before heading out the door to go to the library.

A buzzing sound coming from Raito's pocket, alerted him to a new text message.

Raito I am going to be late, go ahead and get the apartment. –Soichiro

'For the best' Raito thought flipping his phone shut and heading to the building which was only two blocks away.

His cold hand knocked on the metal door. The door opened up to show Mizuno wearing a pair of brown pants a red long sleeved shirt. "Here to buy the apartment?" Mizuno stated. "Yes." Raito replied as Mizuno let him in. "My father will not be able to sign the papers until tomorrow as the co-singer. Is that all right with you?" Raito asked slipping his shoes off.

"Of course, I've been trying to get someone to rent it for months." Mizuno said sitting at a low table with her legs spread to the side. Raito sat across from her in a proper kneeling position. "Shall we get started?" she said lighting up a cigarette and taking a drag from it.

"Of course." Raito said as she slid him some papers.

Reading through each paper carefully, Raito made sure he knew what he was signing up for. The room was encased in silence only being broken once Mizuno had started chewing her gum and popping the bubbles loudly.

Signing his name in perfect Japanese at the bottom Raito handed the papers back to Mizuno. "You can start moving in today if you like, but you should probably do it tomorrow when your dad can come to and finish signing these papers." Mizuno said in a bored tone as she blew a particularly large pink bubble before popping it.

"Thank you for your time." Raito said letting a small smile grace his features. "Yeah, yeah, just leave already. I do have errands to run." Mizuno said making a hand gesture for Raito to leave already.

He rose like a geisha and put on his shoes before exiting the room, thankful to finally be out of there.

'What do I do now?' Raito thought staring up at the grey sky seeing snow start to fall slowly.

"_I don't like snow" An eight year old Raito said stiffly as Ryuuzaki stood next to him His dark gray eyes staring up at the sky blankly. It was mid-December and the two were bundled up in winter clothes._

"_Just because it is cold?" Ryuuzaki asked, his head remaining facing upwards, but Raito noticed that Ryuuzaki's eyes were watching him now. _

"_It is cold and makes people get runny noses." Raito said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I like the snow." Ryuuzaki finally said as his head fully turned to face a red faced Raito. "Why is that?" Raito asked, but didn't sound interested in the answer. "It helps give the world an image of purity." Ryuuzaki said shifting from his left foot to his right. _

"_It's an illusion Ryuuzaki, and illusions aren't worth being interested in." Raito replied breaking the eye contact and staring up at the grey sky. "Does Raito-kun think I'm pure?" L asked taking a step closer to Raito._

_Raito turned his head to face Ryuuzaki. "You are not a pure person and I prefer you that way. I like your shades of grey Ryuuzaki-kun because it makes you more human to me." Raito said releasing a small smile to Ryuuzaki. "I'm glad Raito-kun thinks I'm not pure." L said digging his hands further into his lose jeans. _

"_I thought you would have preferred to be known as a person who is pure." Raito retorted, gripping onto his backpack strap a little tighter once a cold gust of wind past blew the two. "If I was a pure person than I would be blind." Ryuuzaki answered. Raito turned his attention to the snow beneath his feet. "I bet the world looks more beautiful that way." Raito said quietly._

_Ryuuzaki did not respond and as Raito was turning his attention to see what was wrong he felt snow go down his back slowly, making his body shiver. "Ryuuzaki, that is not funny!" Raito said stiffly as he attempted to get the snow out of his shirt without looking undignified. _

"_Raito-kun needs to cheer up." Ryuuzaki said in a mono tone that it caused Raito to laugh. "I think you are the one who needs to." Raito said as he lifted up some snow which caused Ryuuzaki to dodge him. _

_Raito fell on the ground from leaning forward to far, the snow cushioning his landing. "Is Raito-kun ok?" L asked hovering above Raito._

_His eyes widened in surprise as he stared up at Ryuuzaki. "The snow makes you look pure." Raito said noticing that Ryuuzaki was as pale looking as the snow. "That is a cheesy line." Ryuuzaki said bringing his thumb up to his mouth to bit on it; a small smile of amusement forming around Ryuuzaki's thumb. A grin formed on Raito's own mouth as he sat up quickly and shoved snow down Ryuuzaki's shirt. _

_Jumping backwards Ryuuzaki pulled his shirt away from him and let the snow fall out. "That was a dirty trick Raito-kun." L said un-amused. "We are not fair players." Raito said standing up while fixing his hair. "Raito-kun is the one who starts it!" L accused causing a larger smile to form on Raito's innocent looking face. "Come on let's go back to my house. Mom said she'd make hot chocolate." Raito said and felt Ryuuzaki pace pick up with the promise of a hot chocolate drink. _

Raito snapped out his memory daze and started making his way home.

OoOoOoO

Takada stood in the stair wall of the Sakura T.V. station. Her cell phone pushed closely up to her ear. "Are you sure this is the only T.V. station left?" She asked withholding the annoyance from her voice.

"I am sorry, but if you wish to intern at a T.V. station it is going to have be Sakura. If any of the others have an opening you will be the first person we notify." A male voice said from the other line. "I understand, thank you for help." Takada said before saying her goodbyes and hanging up her phone.

'Demegawa is a pig.' Takada thought to herself as she made her way up the rest of the stairs. The internship was to help those people who wanted to become news anchors, but this was the only station that still degraded women. She had been there for three months already and all she did was take everyone's lunch orders and buy them. Not once had she been asked to help with a field assignment or even get to interview the other anchors and ask them questions about how they performed while on national television.

"Oh Takada-chan, you're late" A noise said from behind her that sounded like a cross between a pig and human. "My apologies Demegawa-san." Takada said noticing the clock read twelve twenty. She had been on the phone longer than she had originally thought.

"Everyone has agreed on WacDonalds. I'll have a Big-Mac with a large diet coke." Demegawa said staring at Kiyomi intensely. "Write it down and hurry up!" Demegawa said trying to get Takada to move faster. "Of course." Kiyomi said holding back the irritation in her voice. Digging into her large white purse, Takada pulled a pad of paper and a pen and wrote down the order. "Good." Demegawa said letting a fat smile cross his plump cheeks as he walked by Takada and pinched her butt.

Her shoulders automatically stiffened as she felt the hand on her butt. 'If that man wasn't in charge of the program, I would slap him.' she thought walking forward to go ask everyone else what they wanted.

If she had the power, she would get rid of all the people who treated others with disrespect. She wanted someone to fix the world. The people who were cruel to others were outweighing those who are kind and good. If a divine power falls into her hands, she would use it and make sure the world at least evened out. But for now she would have to live with following the disgusting humans and one day she would show all of them that she was more than just a pretty face.

OoOoOoO

She was on her way home. 'Finally escaping the place of fools.' Takada thought with a small amount of relief.

The sun was beginning to set with the February air gusting past her. Takada pulled her jacket more closely around her and headed to the Tokyo station. The streets were not as busy, since most people decided to take the bus or cab, not wanting to battle the cold air.

She decided to cut through the park, knowing it would save her ten minutes to take that way instead of her normal route. A few children were playing on the slides while others were trying to hit them with ice snowballs. Not sure she wanted to truly know why they were doing that Takada continued on her journey nearing the middle of the park. There were less people in the area.

There was a rustling in the trees that didn't sound like a bird. Moving her eyes upwards Takada stared at the tree branches that were swaying in the breeze. He eyes narrowed as she saw a black object falling from the tree. It smacked her on the face and landed on the ground with the pages opening up.

Takada looked down at the notebook before looking back up at the tree in annoyance. 'It is not my day.' She determined with an annoyed sigh. She leaned over and picked up the notebook. 'If a person's name is written in this notebook they will die' Takada read her eyes widening slightly. 'This can't be for real. Someone must have put a lot of effort into this, creating so many rules for a silly prank' Takada thought flipping through the notebook.

She put it back on the ground and was still bent over when a thought struck her. 'Why would someone go through so much effort for a prank? Not to mention they dropped it on my head. I will keep it for a bit before giving it to the proper authorities and letting the person find it for themselves.' Takada thought, re-gripping the notebook and standing up. She slipped it into her white purse and continued on her way home.

Arriving home Takada flipped on the lights and moved to the couch. She placed her purse neatly on the couch before going to her room to slip into a long white night gown.

Making her way back into the main room, Takada looked over at the purse that was calling to her.

'This is stupid.' Takada thought, moving over to her purse and picking it up. Walking over to the table, Takada placed her purse down. The black notebook was sticking out of her purse and Takada ran her hand along it before pulling it out.

"Let's see if it really works." She said to herself quietly, pulling a pen out of the white purse as well. 'What name should I write.' she thought tapping the pen lightly against her chin.

'Might as well see if it works.' Kiyomi thought as she opened to the first blank page.

'Hitoshi Demegawa is hit by a car on his way home from work, body not reported until morning' Takada wrote then shut the notebook. After all she did not want to lose sleep over a pig, if the notebook was real.

Moving to the bedroom, she eased herself onto the bed. She placed her cell phone neatly on the wooden nightstand in case she ever got a call from a station that needed her assistances, she slipped off into sleep.

The clock was flashing six thirty a.m. as Takada woke up the sound of her phone ringing loudly in her delicate ears. "Moshi Moshi?" she said with a slight tiredness in her voice. "It's horrible Demegawa is dead, dead with a capital D!" A women's voice screeched. Takada felt her throat close up as she rushed out of the room to look at the death note that still lay upon the table. "When did he die?" Kiyomi asked her voice started to shake.

"It was a hit and run. No one reported it until six a.m. when a business man drove by an alley way and saw the body by the entrance" The voice said sounding a bit more clam. "We need you to come into work now" The women said and hung up.

'The notebook can't be what killed him, surely it is a coincidence. I'll have to re-test it later.' Kiyomi thought as she hurried into her room.

'He's dead, no longer living, what did I do? Was it the right thing to do? I mean sure he is a pig but really did I really have any right to kill that man?' Takada thought stripping out of her night gown and putting on a long black skirt with a short sleeved white shirt. Quickly running a comb though her bed hair, Kiyomi made her way out of the room grabbing her purse off of the table.

She paused looking down at the notebook. 'If it's real and the people at my work see me carrying it they might think that I killed Demegawa-san. It's like walking into a trap. No, I'll just leave now and leave that notebook behind.' Takada thought as she walked away from the table in a rush. Make-up would be applied on the trip there, her hand defiantly not steady enough to do it now knowing she just killed someone.

OoOoOoO

Arriving at the TV station in record time, Takada hid a smile at the thought of Demegawa truly being gone. "I'm so glad you're here. With Demegawa gone we have a new station manger that will be coming the help us out. There is a rumor floating around that you will be able to become a news anchor here!" The same women's voice from earlier said excitedly, but her voice sounded shaky.

"The other two anchors we have are really shaken up about the death of Demegawa and we need you to give a report on his death. It would be really embarrassing for our station to not be the first ones to report the death of Demegawa-san. Go put some make-up on and be out here in ten minutes." The women said showing her anxiousness by tugging on the hem of her shirt.

Takada made her way to the bathroom to apply some make-up on her face. She knew that the women, Satsuki, did not want her to be the anchor for this story, but the station knew of her ability and was there best shot. The whole time in the bathroom was spent acting like she was shaken up about the death of Demegawa. But really it was from excitement. She had the power to kill all those who made the world disgusting. She is the one to fix the world, but she would make no grand acts of killing. Her stomach was still feeling nausea over Demegawa death. She would kill criminals over the course of the years and make sure each one got what they deserved.

Taking one last glance in the mirror to make sure her make-up was on evenly Takada made her out of the bathroom to see Satsuki standing by the door. "Here's your microphone, now this piece hooks to the top of your skirt and then this other piece gets attached to the top of your shirt. The wire goes underneath your clothing so that no one else can see it. Remember to look at the prompter at all times and don't sound mono tone or else we will change our mind about letting you anchor. Now you know the cues for when speaking and when to end, so I won't bore you with that." Satsuki said as she helped Takada with the microphone.

"Look appropriate for what you are saying and do not cry while on camera, we are professionals, not emotional people who let the harshness of reality affect us. With all that said good luck!" Satsuki said as she stopped walking.

Takada made her way to sit behind the news table. For now she would not be allowed to show the joy she felt for finally sitting behind this table. She had spent countless hours working here and being degrade because of how big her rack was and for being a woman in general. People would learn to respect her like they had at the college she attended To-Oh.

The lights shone brightly down upon her illuminating her pale figure. The world would finally know that she had arrived. Her stories would be news breaking, she make sure of that. After all, the god's had given her a death note. They had seen her struggle and they realized that she needed help in order to become the best, because nothing was worth doing if one was not the best at it.

"Okay we are on in three, two" The camera man showed one finger.

"Good morning, this is the news at seven thirty and I am Takada Kiyomi. I have some devastating news for all of you today." Takada said as her mouth formed a thin line and her eyes looking downcast without leaving the prompt script. "Sakura Station Director Hitoshi Demegawa has died." Takada said looking crest fallen the whole time. One thought ringing through her head the whole time.

'The world will finally recognize me.'

OoOoOoO

I would like to thank my beta Sistine the angel of Hell for looking over this chapter for me. Or else you all would have suffered through some grammar mistakes. Give praise to Sistine the angel of Hell.

First I would like to be apologize on how long it has taken me to update. Also I know that Raito and L do not directly meet in this chapter when I said they would. I deeply apologize for that. The reason is because this chapter was getting way to long and I decided to spilt it in half. I'm not sure when the second half will be up because while looking over the second half I found myself cringing at some of the things I wrote. So have to re-do it and with school and work I'm not sure when I will get the time to do that.

Do I get some lovin' since I have the death note in this story? Adding the Death Note is another reason this chapter was getting so long.

I have a favor to ask of all of you. If you don't mind would you all go vote on the poll I have up on my page. It would be a great help to me to have all of your opinions.

Please review this chapter and tell me what you all think about it. So review!

-rain angst


	6. Cold fury

Title- The choices we make

Warning- OOC'ness

Talking ""

Thinking ''

Thank you to all those who reviewed, altered, and added to favorites. I am happy to know that you are all bearing the wait of Raito and L meeting again. I guess this story is losing its touch, since the reviews seem to be dropping. I am hoping it is because Raito and L haven't met yet.

Here is the next installment so enjoy!

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The apartment had everything moved into it. Raito's old bedroom no longer had anything left in it. The café had called him back saying that of course he could work there. He really didn't want to work there and it would be a waste of time, but it was close and he had not seen any other job openings.

The bedroom was the only room that had furniture in it. His three large wooden bookcases were next to the window and the bed was pressed against the back wall of the bedroom with the night stand next to it. The desk was against the right corner wall that had another window in front of it.

Sayu had stayed to help him with putting all his books on the shelf. Once the exhausting task had been done Raito had ordered Chinese's and the two had eaten on the floor. Raito told Sayu that if she dropped any food on the carpet she would be the one getting it out, or hiring a carpet cleaner.

Glancing down at his cell phone, Raito read that it was ten at night. He wanted to go to sleep but not wanting to leave the mass of boxes on the floor that still had his clothes in it, since they could all become wrinkled. Raito reluctantly decided to put the clothes away.

Each box was sorted by color and then style of the shirt. Pants were sorted by designer's jeans and the varying shade. Sayu had teased Raito that his gayness was showing again, but Raito had told Sayu her style was missing. She had playfully hit him before she had said that she had to head back home. That had been around eight thirty.

By the time Raito had finished putting all his clothes away in was one in the morning. He pulled of his shirt and pants and let them lay on the floor. Flipping of the lights, Raito moved to his bed and got under the covers and promptly fell asleep.

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A loud ringing sound woke Raito up from his slumber. He tiredly got up wanting to sleep in a little longer. Moving over to the corner of his room Raito lifted up his cell phone to turn off the alarm. Six a.m., he was going to have stay up since his first class was at seven thirty. Moving to the shower where he had a bag for all his shampoo, conditioner, and body wash.

Pulling out the essentials Raito turned on the shower after putting all the necessities in the stall. Stripping out of his clothes Raito stood under the running water turning it all the way over to cold letting it help him wake up. After being fully woken up from the cold spray Raito turned the water to a more bearable temperature and began to wash himself.

Once he was satisfied with washing he shut the water of and dried himself of quickly. Putting on the clothes for the day Raito dug around for a brush and began to comb his hair refusing to leave the bathroom until every strand of hair was in perfect place.

Moving back to the bedroom with his neatly folded clothes, Raito put them down in the hamper and moved into the kitchen. Sachiko had given him the brand of cereal he usually ate with a bowl worth of apples. 'After class I should go to the grocery store and work starts tomorrow.' Raito thought washing of an apple and finishing it of quickly. He had no coffee, a problem he was going to have to solve on the way to school.

His life was all about routine now, 'it has been ever since Ryuuzaki left.' Raito thought as he grabbed his pack back and locked his apartment door behind him. The other man affected his life to much; he was going to stop comparing his life to when Ryuuzaki was there and the after effect.

He could throw his life into school and work and if he was lucky the thoughts would gradually stop and in time he would not even remember the other's man name. Raito hoped it could become his reality and he could go back to just being bored.

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Raito entered the campus ground within twenty minutes after leaving his apartment; after all he now had a hot coffee in his hand and secretly praised the person who had invented coffee.

A bump from behind him jolted him forwards. His precious coffee spilled all over the ground. A frown etched upon Raito's thin lips as he turned around to see a young women looking annoyed at a skater who had just shoved to the ground on his way by.

"Are you okay?" Raito asked politely sticking his hand out for the women to take. "Yes I am fine. I apologize for bumping into you and making you drop your coffee" the women said taking 

Raito's offered hand. "Would you like me to buy you some more coffee?" she asked while straightening out her white purse to lay more comfortable on her shoulder.

"That won't be necessary, after all it wasn't your fault that man pushed you" Raito said before realization dawned upon him. "How rude of me, I haven't introduced myself. My name is Yagami Raito" he said bowing slightly. "I am Takada Kiyomi it is a pleasure to meet you" she replied bowing a little bit.

"I wasn't paying attention since I am coming from the Sakura TV station. Are you sure you don't want me to buy you another cup of coffee?" she asked as the two of them began to walk closer to the school building. "You seem like a prescient person and it would be quite rude of me to turn down Miss To-oh" Raito said turning a charming smile to Takada. "I see you have heard about that" Takada said, a small smile crossing her lips. 'She likes the attention she gains from that name' Raito thought slightly amused.

"You were the one who got a perfect score on the entrance exam" Takada pointed out letting a small smile grace her face.

"I was, but it was after I studied for days" Raito said sounding modest.

"I heard it was because you're a genius" Kiyomi said as Raito held the door open for her. "Thank you" she said politely. "Of course" Raito said as he walked in behind Takada.

"What time does your class end?" Takada asked as the two moved off to the side to avoid the oncoming traffic of students who had early morning classes. "Eight thirty. My next class doesn't start until eleven" Raito said smiling. "My class ends at the same time, how about we met up here once our classes finish and go get a cup of coffee then" Takada said with her head held up a little higher. "That works for me" Raito said as the two started to walk again. "I'll see you later" Raito said as he went down a different hallway. "Until then" Takada said making her way down the right hallway.

Raito just hoped that he would be able to make it through his first class without falling asleep.

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The coffee date had gone well. Raito had enjoyed Takada's company more than he thought he would. She was interesting and even though she wasn't nearly as smart as Ryuuzaki, though she was a lot smarter than Misa. The conversations were not boring, but Raito could tell she was more book smart than being a genius. Still the company wasn't that bad and so Raito asked her out again and Takada accepted.

Raito did enjoy the date and he hated how he felt like he was betraying Ryuuzaki somehow. 'He would deserve it anyways' Raito thought pushing the thought of Ryuuzaki out of his mind.

There were more important things to do, than mope about someone who left him twice already.

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Takada finished off the rest of her classes for the day and was thankful that she didn't have to go back to the TV station. It was time she began putting her plan in motion.

The notebook still lay on her kitchen table unmoved from when she had left it to go to school. She wouldn't use it to help her with her career yet, but she could help the world by getting rid of some of the most dangerous criminals. At the moment she didn't want to draw attention to herself.

'It would be nice to get recognition for all the hard work I am going to do, but the world isn't ready for that yet' Takada thought as she grabbed the notebook and moved to sit on the couch. She turned the TV onto the news station and pulled out a pen.

The notebook lay out neatly on her lap as she began to write down the criminal names that were being said on the news.

The criminals ranged from all over the world. If anyone came looking for her she was sure she would get caught. At the moment she was really only book smart. Her grades were one of the best in the whole school, but if she could get someone who was already a genius 'like Raito' she automatically thought.

Perhaps she could recruit him once people realized that there was someone who was looking out for the good people, but for now it was best to keep him in the dark.

Settling down in front of her TV Takada wrote down the names of criminals being shown throughout the program. Twenty names were written down by the time the news program ended.

Glancing down at the notebook she didn't like the idea that so few names were written down. Moving over to the computer Takada turned it on and moved to the internet. Looking up the most dangerous criminals that were still alive she wrote down another thirty names before logging off. It was time to eat dinner and then sleep. She looked forward to seeing the news reports on the deaths, 'if there are any' Kiyomi thought as popped in a microwaveable dinner. Three minutes went by and she pulled the tray of food out of the microwave.

"I see you have found my notebook" a voice said from behind Takada. "How the hell did you get in here" Takada asked before she turned around her arms throwing her food against the ceiling. "Humans are such interesting creatures" Ryuuk said hyuuking to himself. "What are you?" Takada asked as she was backed up against the counter. "You don't know? I guess I will have to tell you then" Ryuuk said floating a few inches above the ground. "I'm a shinigami" he said while his eyes glowed red.

"Have you come to kill me?" Takada asked, her voice shaking in pure fear. She felt tears spring to her she was helping rid the world of evil. She was chosen to take on such a task and she do it with a smile, because the notebook had literally smacked her in the face demanding to be used. She didn't deserve to die. The criminals did. They had lost their privilege of living once they had committed the crimes they did. "Hyuk hyuk hyuk. I have not come to kill you human. I am merely here because I am connected with that notebook you own and will follow you around until you die" Ryuuk said sounding amused.

"So I am not going to die" Takada said sounding more clam. "No I am not going to kill you. Well unless you are about to die anyways then your life is mine" Ryuuk said letting his joker grin becoming larger. "I see, so as long as I am not about to die you won't kill me" Takada asked feeling her body relaxing slightly. "Yes, but hopeful you won't be boring either, or my hand just might slip in my death note" Ryuuk said hyuuking. Takada felt her body re-stiffen. "So you will kill me if I get to boring, I guess I will have to keep you entertained" Takada said her voice cracking.

"As long as I have apples, and you kill people with the death note, we should get along quite nicely" Ryuuk said his eyes looking around the kitchen taking in the surrounding's. "Got any apples?" Ryuuk asked looking around the kitchen. "No" Takada said letting a small smile grace her lips. She walked out of the kitchen feeling a little bit better about having a small power over a god of death.

The sound of her dinner hitting the floor with a small thud was the last sound she heard before going to bed deciding her stomach wasn't ready for eating.

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Raito made his way back from work tiredly. A lot of people from his campus came in to get coffee and other sweets. The café was a hot spot for everyone to met, though Raito was able to sway all his customers into leaving very generous tips.

With most of the girls all he had to do was smile and the girls would leave fifty dollars and a phone number, which Raito always throw out. He wasn't interested in girls who only went for looks. Not to mention looks didn't attract him, the person had to have brains or else Raito 

would turn them down. In Misa's case it was because he wanted to get his name further out in the world. He supposed he should call Misa eventually; she refused to leave his life and somehow became one of Raito's good friends.

Raito saw his apartment building come into view and he quickened his steps to get inside.

Hitting the up button for the elevator, Raito waited in the cold for the elevator to come down. The doors opened slowly and Raito moved into the elevator and rode up in silence. Getting off he made his way inside his apartment that that was now furnished. Dropping his house keys by the stand by the door, Raito removed his shoes. He made his way to his bedroom and prepared himself for bed, since he had eaten while at work. His bedside clock flashed nine p.m. and Raito found it to be a reasonable time to go to bed. He shut his eyes and let his mind drift.

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**Raito's eyes re-opened in the cold water; Ryuuzaki was staring at him blankly. "Why are we here again? I thought I would get out of seeing you after moving" Raito said looking annoyed. "Did you really think I would leave if you moved out of your house?" L asked brining his thumb up to his mouth and smiling around it. Raito's eyes narrowed as he looked at L. "So you did, you are so naive Raito-kun" Ryuuzaki said his smile widening slightly. **

"**Why are you here?" Raito asked ignoring Ryuuzaki's last statement. "That is for me to know and for you to figure with the clue I left you" Ryuuzaki said running his hand along the hole he had created on Raito's chest. "You won't tell me what the clue is" Raito pointed out lifting up his right hand to trace along Ryuuzaki's hole. **

"**Raito-kun likes a challenge" L said with a slight smirk on his face. "In times like these, I do not" Raito said not pleased with Ryuuzaki being cryptic. "It's like a life lesson" Ryuuzaki said raising his hand to push away some of Raito's hair out of his face. "I really don't like you right now" Raito said swatting L's hand away from his face. **

"**I wouldn't expect anything less from you" Ryuuzaki placing his hand in Raito's chest. "What are doing?" Raito asked feeling his body stiffing up. "Your heartbeat feels a little stronger" Ryuuzaki said running his finger along the heart before pulling his hand out. "No thanks to you" Raito said feeling his body relax. Ryuuzaki just smirked and titled his head up. **

"**There is no sign of daylight breaking across the surface, only darkness" Raito said quietly his eyes looking above him as well. "You will not be seeing the daylight until you come to realize what my message means" Ryuuzaki said his eyes locking with Raito's. "You want me to drown?" Raito said sounding annoyed. **

"**I never wanted you to drown, but circumstances lead to that" L said nonchalant. "Perhaps circumstances wouldn't have lead to that if you hadn't told me that you loved me" Raito said narrowing his eyes. "This is something we should talk about in real life, not person to dream image" L pointed out. **

"**Fine" Raito agreed not at all pleased. **

"**How often will you be here?" Raito asked dropping his hand to his side. "Today will be my last night" Ryuuzaki said raising his hand slightly and using it to bring Raito closer. Pressing his lips against Raito's own before Ryuuzaki began to talk again. "This is goodbye again Raito" Ryuuzaki said with one last ghost kiss to Raito's lips before his image stated to fade. **

**Raito's arms shot out for Ryuuzaki's image and gripped onto the shoulders tightly; his face looking down further into the icy depths of the water. Ryuuzaki was here with him, he didn't want to lose him again. Granted it was a dream one, but the two were so alike and Raito didn't want to lose him again. **

"**Is there something you want?" Ryuuzaki asked looking at the top of Raito's head. "No" Raito said not wanting to admit that he would miss the dream Ryuuzaki. Ryuuzaki lifted Raito's head up slowly. "Will meet again in real life" Ryuuzaki said cupping Raito's cheeks and pressing his lips firmly against Raito's own. The image of Ryuuzaki disappeared and Raito couldn't help but feel like he had lost something important as the water yanked him further down into their icy depths. **

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Four years later

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Raito had graduated college a year early. He had achieved all the necessary credits and the NPA had welcomed him with open arms.

He had been working there for six months now. Having finished training early and solving every case he was ever given and yet it was all so boring. There were only a few times when he actually needed to put half his thought process into the case he was working on. It was so much more boring than Raito had originally thought it would be. Each case came and went and because of his efficacy Raito was flying through the ranks with such ease he put the senior members to shame.

Raito was relieved that he was being transferred to his father team. His work desk would be easy enough to clear out and move to another room. Matsuda had offered to help him move 

the few items he had, but Raito reminded him that he still had a case that needed the paper work to be finished by noon.

A crest fallen Matsuda had walked back out of the door to finish up the work he should have finished the day before.

The desk Raito had held no personal possessions, just pencils, pens and notepads. That was all he needed to bring with him.

Raito moved into the new room where Matsuda was waving at him crazily. Ignoring the feeling of wanting to roll his eyes, Raito made his way over to the overexcited Matsuda. "Your desk is right here" Matsuda cheered pulling out a small paper fan and hoping around on one foot.

"That really wasn't necessary" Raito said placing his stuff on top of his desk that was pushed up against Matsuda's. It wasn't exactly an ideal place to be. He did like Matsuda, but really the older detective was much too hyper for his own good.

Raito was going to need a lot of coffee to have enough patience to deal with someone as hyper as Matsuda. "Raito, I'm so glad you got onto my team" Soichiro said as he walked into the room. "I'm glad I did to" Raito said smiling at his father.

"We should have a celebration for Raito-kun joining our team" Matsuda said happily. "If you're buying the drinks then I'm in" Aziawa said as he joined the group. "We should get Mogi and Ide to come to" Matsuda said looking around the room to see if the other two members of the team had walked in yet.

"It sounds like a fun idea, but can we postpone" Raito asked as he sat down at his desk and started to organize the few items he had. "Why?" Matsuda asked confused before a light bulb seemed to make itself know in his head.

"Doing something with Takada-chan tonight huh" Matsuda said letting a large grin form across his mouth. 'Of course Matsuda-san would know I have been dating her on and off again, though we haven't done anything past kissing.' Raito thought with a small inward sigh. He liked to believe that Kiyomi wasn't ready to take the next step, but he knew the real reason. Every time the two tried to go further Raito was the one to stop it, all because the image of Ryuuzaki would show up in his head. He hadn't tried to find the younger man since the time at the hotel and L had not had any other cases in Japan since the subway killer one.

"We do have a date" Raito agreed. "I see, you should bring home Takada some time and let me met her" Soichiro said patting his son on the shoulder. 'It's not that big of a deal' Raito thought, but agreed to do so as long as it was ok with Takada, though Raito didn't plan on telling her anytime soon.

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"It's been four years Kiyomi don't you plan on doing anything drastic to finally get your name out there as Kira?" Ryuuk asked bored. There were times were Takada did things that was for her personal gain. Like her finding a criminal that had disappeared and being the one to report as the police closed in on the criminal. Of course each time the criminal would die and the ratings would go through the roof at the station.

"I do plan on doing something soon. I think it is about time that Kira gets more recognition from the world" Takada said as she opened up the death note that lay in front of her next to her computer.

Takada searched the web for a list of dangerous criminals who she hadn't killed already. 'It is time for the world to know of my other existence' Takada thought letting a slow smile cross her face.

She didn't stop after she had reached a hundred. The criminals did not stop themselves from hurting the innocent and Takada would not stop judging those who were hurting humanity.

The name Kira had been appearing on the internet, but still not enough were truly noticing the name for Takada to feel like she was truly helping the world. People still weren't sure if there truly was someone who was helping the innocent or if it was really all one big coincidence. She was going to have to do something big, killing a lot of criminals would only get her so far. People needed to know that her way was truly the best.

Tapping the pen lightly against her desk, Takada furrowed her eyes in concentration. A way to truly get her name out in the open, to let the people know she was on their side. A small smile graced Kiyomi's face. Shutting of her computer and closing the notebook Takada decided to get ready for her date with Raito. She would just have to put her plan in action tomorrow.

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"L there has been an unusual amount of deaths happening all over the world recently. The NPA wishes to know if you will join their case and help catch Kira" Watari asked, as he carried a tray of tea with sugar cubes and a list of deaths that had been happening all over the world.

Placing the tray down on a metal table in front of L Watari straightened up and handed the papers over to L. Ryuuzaki took the papers and began glancing at them. "Some of these deaths date back to three years ago" L said never looking up. "All of the criminals have died of heart attacks and each criminal was reported on the news. It would be easy access for anyone in the world to get" Watari said as he moved to stand next to L in the hotel suite.

"There have been more deaths in Japan than any other county in the world" L said bringing his thumb up to his mouth and nibbling on it. "Watari, we are going to Japan" L said in a slightly hesitant voice. "Are you sure you wish to take this case Ryuuzaki?" Watari asked looking at his grandson concerned. After all L had almost met Raito once before and with this case the two may actually meeting could become a very real possibility.

"This case intrigues me. It would appear that Kira can kill without having to be in the same room as the criminals. Someone has to put a stop to Kira. They go around killing criminals and acting like they have the right to judge who lives and who dies. I will bring Kira to justice" L said putting seven sugar cubes into his tea.

"I will inform the NPA you accept the case." Watari said bowing slightly before walking out of the room.

Ryuuzaki continued to look over the list, he would start in the Kanto region and if he had to look all over Japan he would, because he knew that Kira was in Japan. His intuition was screaming at him to start in Kanto. He just hoped it wasn't because that was where Raito is.

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Soichiro walked back into his office where all the other investigators were. He had just come from the head of police and was told to assembly a team for people who are willing to work on the Kira case. A case of supernatural killing's where all the criminals were dying of heart attacks. It was the first of its kind and Soichiro prayed that it would be the last.

"Alright everyone anyone who is interested on working on the Kira case please sign your name on a clipboard that I will hang outside my office in a few minutes" Soichiro said walking to his office. He grabbed a few sheets of paper and put that on the clipboard that was already outside his office door. A line of people shot up all signing their names on the sheet.

Raito made his way up there as well being the tenth person to sign the piece of paper with his pen. Matsuda had forgotten his and had made a beeline back for his desk before running up and pushing his way through the crowd to make sure his name was up there as well.

It was the case of the century and Raito planned on making sure he got on the team. Especially with the rumor floating around that L was taking the case.

At the end of the day everyone began to gather up there things and leave the room all glancing at Soichrio's closed door wondering when they would know if they were on the team or not.

Raito stood up from his desk and made his way over to his father's work door and knocked loudly. A resigned 'come in' echoed throughout the room. Opening the door slowly Raito made 

his way into the room and shut the door behind him quietly. "Do you want to go soon?" Raito asked as he took a seat across from his father.

"I don't want you on the case" Soichiro said sounding exhausted. His hands crossed on his desk with his forehead resting against them. Raito's eyes widened in surprise before he schooled his features again. "Why?" Raito asked keeping the irritation out of his voice. "If you're on the case I don't think I will be able to concentrate" Soichiro said not looking up at him. "Dad, I need to be on this case. I want to help you catch Kira. That person is killing criminals of at a alarming speed now. That person needs to be stopped as soon as possible" Raito said his voice rising slightly as he stood up looking offended. "Raito, L will be working on this case" Soichiro said raising his head to stare up at his son. "So the rumors are true" Raito said more to himself than Soichiro.

"If Ryuuzaki-kun really is L how will you react?" Soichiro said giving Raito a no nonsense look. He hadn't really thought about that. If Ryuuzaki really was L he would still conduct himself in a professional way, but after work there was no promises on how he would act.

"During work hours I will act professionally and not even bring up the topic of Ryuuzaki to L" Raito answered truthfully. After all it was after work hours his father should worry about the safety of Ryuuzaki.

"I need to be on the team. If Ryuuzaki really is L and all of you met with him, I need to be there" Raito said to his father and he realized it was the most honest thing he had ever said to his father. "We could ask you to join the team later on" Soichiro said almost sounding pleadingly that Raito would just drop it.

"I understand that Ryuuzaki was your best friend" Soichiro began and missed the slight winch Raito made at the word was. "But why do you need to see him so much. After all Ryuuzaki-kun did leave you without a word. Why do you want to meet him again" Soichiro asked his son gently.

"I need closure" Raito said looking like the subject they were talking about was not bothering him at all. "Closure for what?" Soichiro asked looking at his son confused. "Our relationship" Raito said vaguely not saying if it was friendship or something else. "You are also inexperienced" Soichiro said trying to come up with another reason on why Raito could not join the task force.

"Dad I know you are trying to protect me and I do appreciate it, but I am no longer a little kid and I can handle myself. Please let me on the task force. I know that I will be very helpful and if L really is Ryuuzaki I will know how to handle him" Raito said folding his hands in his lap.

A small defeated sigh escaped through Soichrio's mouth. "Alright Raito you can be on the task force, but if you do start acting unprofessional I may have to kick you of" Soichiro warned. "I understand thank you for letting me on" Raito said smiling at his dad. Soichiro stood up and gathered his things. "I know your mom will be quite happy to see you again." Soichiro said as the two left the office and Soichiro turned and locked his office door before they made their way back to the Yagami household.

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A list of members was posted outside of Soichrio's door the next day. Everyone gathered around the door to see who was on it. Raito had just entered the room when a bouncing Matsuda came over and grabbed Raito by the shoulders. "We both made it" he cheered happily as he shook Raito around happily. "Matsuda-san let go before I use force" Raito said with a tight smile on his lips.

"Oh right, my bad Raito-kun" Matsuda said laughing nervously.

"I heard that we are having our first meeting with L today" Matsuda said happily. "You have already worked a case with L" Raito pointed out as he hanged up his coat since it was March second. "I know, but it is your first case with the greatest detective in the world, aren't you excited" Matsuda asked looking confused.

"I am, but I will surpass L one day" Raito said as the two moved to seat at their desks. "You really think that you will surpass the L" Matsuda said surprised. "I will" Raito said determinedly.

"Quite a goal to aim for" Matsuda said as he hit the button to start up his computer. "Not really" Raito replied as he started up his own computer. The two began working on the cases they were going to be transferring to others. Raito had already finished his and was sitting bored at his computer while cleaning out his e-mail to kill time.

The clock struck one o'clock in the afternoon when Soichiro exited his office. "Alright everyone, all those who are on the Kira investigation we are moving to room 315 for the meeting" Soichiro said. Everyone put on their security blockers before getting up to follow Soichiro out of the room.

Raito felt his stomach twist with excitement and he liked to believe it was because he is working on one of the most difficult cases of the century. Not because of the possibility of meeting Ryuuzaki again.

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L was nervous.

He had never been nervous before, excluding the time he told Raito how he felt, but that was different he didn't have to face rejection or acceptance during that time. But now, if Raito found him and the two did work together, which he was 95 sure they would, then he might have to face Raito and he was not ready to do that yet. Years of turning down cases from Japan all to avoid that one intelligent man had not given him enough time to fully throw himself into work and to bury the memories deep within himself and become more robotic.

He needed more time; he had never been good at relationships. Raito knew that, but it wasn't enough to let him off for ditching the one person he had wanted to take along with him. If he saw Raito then he would act professional and pretend he did not know the person. L secretly prayed, to whatever god or goddess that would listen, that Raito would not learn of Watari's true appearance.

It would truly lead to his downfall. Even though there was a good chance that he would have to meet the team, he would put it off for as long as he possible could, especially if Raito was on it. He would have had Watari gather up all the information on the people working on the team, but they had just assembled and that did not give either one enough time to do some digging around.

The elder gentleman had already left and L knew that in only ten minutes he would see the task force members.

To pass the time L ate his chocolate cheesecake slowly savoring the test and withholding his nervousness. He was sitting on the hotel's room floor in his usual crouch position. The symbol of L appeared on his computer before it showed him the inside of the task force headquarters room. Glancing through the crowd of people a small sigh of relief was released by Ryuuzaki. He hadn't seen Raito's aruban hair sticking out of the crowed of black hair.

The sigh of relief caught in his throat as Raito walked into the room with an annoyed expression on his face. Matsuda following closely behind with a guiltily look on his face. "Now that we are all here we can start the meeting" Soichiro said after he saw his son and Matsuda took a seat.

"I am L. I thank all of you for agreeing to work on this case, for I know I will not be able to do this case by myself. I'm sure all of you have been told this already, but for all those who do not wish to lose their lives in a supernatural way please leave now. This case will be endangering your life more than most cases will. If you are not prepared to lose your life please leave now" L said though his computer.

A few man stood up looking guilty as they left the room with their heads hanged in shame.

"Good, now that the people who are not willingly to lose their life are gone, let me thank you all for agreeing. We should get to business now. Kira kills with a name and a face. The person does not need to be in the same place as the victim in order to kill. I believe that Kira is in Japan and in the Kanto region" L said through his computer sync voice.

"Why do you think Kira is in Japan?" Matsuda asked looking confused. 'I see Matsuda hasn't changed from the last time I worked with him' L thought slightly annoyed. "Even though Kira has been killing criminals all over the world, the majority of the criminals have been from Japan. There is also the fact that it is within the Tokyo area where most criminals have been dying. We can only assume that Kira is in Japan and in the capital somewhere" Raito explained in a clear crisp tone.

L could tell by the slight twitch of the eyebrow that Raito was annoyed with Matsuda for not knowing such a basic fact.

"Exactly as Yagami-kun said. We need a way to draw out Kira and get them to kill openly in order to prove our theory that Kira is indeed in the capitol" L said glad he wasn't in the room when all the protests started. "We shouldn't use an innocent person to see if Kira will kill them" Soichiro said withholding the anger.

"I never said we would use an innocent person Yagami-san. I have easy access to jails and can get someone who is on death row to participate. We will simply fool Kira into using their power in front of specific regions in order to track that person down" L said annoyed that the police would automatically think they would use an innocent.

"My apologies L-san I jumped to conclusions" Soichiro said embarrassed at his actions. "It is alright Yagami-san for I have done that before" L said bringing his thumb up to his mouth to nibble on it.

"Why do you think that Kira is a single person?" Aizawa asked as he looked over at the L screen. "Because Kira has been killing a large amount of criminals without stop; most people would do a have to have a debate in order to figure out who they should kill. Kira on the other hand has killed of more than a thousand criminals and a group of people would not be able to decide who should live or die without conflict which leads me to believe that Kira is indeed working alone" L said as he looked around the room to see people nodding their head in agreement.

"What is your plan to draw out Kira?" Soichiro asked as he looked over at L's computer screen. The rest of the team stopped their murmuring to themselves. "At the moment I was thinking about using a live broadcast, but it will not work" L said, a slight disappointed voice coming through the computers voice.

"I see your point" Raito said as he looked down at the papers in front of him.

"What do you mean? the broadcast could work if we could find someone to play the part" Soichiro began. "Yagami-san it would not be that easy. Kira is not hacking into the police files, and obtaining his information that way. All the criminals that Kira has killed have been broadcasted on the news or easy access to the internet because the criminals whose names that have been misspelled on the news have not died. There is a good chance that Kira is connected with the news. Isn't that right L" Raito said a smug smile crossing his face.

"Yagami-kun is correct, that is why I was thinking of something else" L said and started devising his new plan to the rest of the team.

"That will be all for today, Watari you may come back now" L said about to cut off the connection before a voice stopped him. "If you don't mind L-san I would like to ask you something in private" Raito said looking over at the computer screen with an unreadable look on his face. "Does it relate to this investigation?" L asked in a flat voice. "Yes and no" Raito replied as the rest of the team paused to look in-between the laptop and Raito. Wondering what it was the young detective wanted to tell L.

"I will permit it then" L said mentally scolding himself for having to keep up appearances. Though cutting the connection would also work, but he wasn't in the mood to do that after agreeing to talk to Raito.

Raito reminded in his seat and waited for the whole team to leave. His father throwing him a confused look, but said nothing as he left the room and shut the door.

Standing up with a deliberate slowness Raito made his way over to where Watari was seated. The gothic L staring at Raito and he couldn't help but think that the color matched Ryuuzaki's eyes nicely.

"What is it that Yagami-kun wishes to say?" L asked thankfully for the computer for alternating his voice.

"I know it is you Ryuuzaki" Raito said staring intently at the screen. A slow smile eased onto his face. "I don't have the proof of course, but I know it is you. Really you shouldn't have used Ryuuga Hideki as a cover when we all know how obsessed Sayu is with him" Raito said shaking his head lightly.

"Is there a point to Yagami-kun's speech" L asked neither denying nor confirming Raito's statement. "Not really I just wanted to let you know that I know who you are" Raito said as he turned around to leave the room. "See you tomorrow _L_" Raito said putting more emphasis on 

the L to make his point. He opened and shut the door behind him calmly giving away nothing on how he felt about the meeting.

"L are you" Watari began but was cut off by L's command. "Just come back Watari and make sure we have strawberry cheesecake" L said and with that the connection was terminated. With a small sigh Watari shut of his computer and made his way out of the NPA building.

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'It's time to start my plan' Takada thought as she pulled out her cell phone.

"Moshi moshi" a male voice said from the other side of the phone. "Ukita-san it's been awhile" Takada said in a pleasant voice as she made her over to sit on the couch. "Ah yes what can I do for you Kiyomi-san" Ukita said from the other line of the phone. "I have been wanting to do a story about the corruptions in the police and I heard that you were the person to go to" Takada said in a charming voice.

"I see, how about we met up later on today" Ukita asked not wanting to go into details over the phone. "That would be fine. Does seven o'clock work for you" Takada asked politely. "Seven will be fine" Ukita said as he hanged up the phone.

Flipping her cell phone shut Takada made her way over to her computer that was placed in her room. Pulling out the death note Takada opened it up and began writing down names she found on recent criminals.

She didn't have to go in today and it gave her plenty of time to full proof her plan. '

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There was a loud knock on the door alerting Takada that Ukita had arrived to her apartment. She opened the door widely placing a small smile on her mouth. "It is nice to see you again Kiyomi-san" Ukita said showing a small smile at her. "Have you been in contact with my father lately" Kiyomi asked as she moved to the kitchen table and sat down. Ukita pulled out a chair and sat across from Takada.

"What information do you want" Ukita asked in his professional voice. "I heard an interesting rumor while at work the other day" Takada said smiling lightly.

"Before we continue with this conversation would you like a drink" She asked standing up and moving over to the fridge. "A glass of water is fine" Ukita responded as he removed his jacket and hanged it on the back of the kitchen chair. Takada moved to the cabinet and opened the one on the far left. Pulling out two glasses, Takada moved back to the fridge and opened it up. She pulled the water out of the fridge and filled the glasses to the brim.

Putting the water back and shutting the fridge all the way Takada placed the drink in front of Ukita before taking a seat again. Both of them took a small sip before Ukita made a comment. "What kind of rumors have you heard?" he asked sitting up straighter in his chair. "That the CIA director has been accepting bribes from prisoners and shortening their prison terms" Takada said running her finger along the rim of her glass.

Ukita stiffened slightly before meeting Takada's eyes. "That is quite the rumor you heard" Ukita said taking a small gulp of water from his cup. "I thought so as well and I am interested in knowing if my source was lying to me" Takada said a slow smile gracing her face. "Who is this source?" Ukita asked placing the glass back on the table. "I'm not at liberty to say" Kiyomi said standing up again. "Would you excuse me for a moment, I have to powder my nose" Takada said pushing her chair in. "Of course take as long as you need" Ukita replied.

Takada moved into her bedroom and locked the door. She moved quickly over to her desk and pulled out the death note. Grabbing a pen Takada opened up the death note to a new page and began to write quickly. Finishing writing in the death note Takada put it back and went to the bathroom to flush the toilet.

"I'm sorry that took so long" Takada said smiling lightly. "It is fine" Ukita said taking another sip of his water. His hand froze midway before his eyes glazed over. "Are you alright Ukita-san" Takada asked concerned but a small smile was placed on her lips. "The rumor you heard about the CIA is true" Ukita said in a hollow voice as he pulled out a notepad and began writing down all the CIA people who had been accepting the bribes along with how to find photographs of them. "Here I have to go now" Ukita said as he put his handed Takada the sheet of paper and placed his notepad back in his pocket.

Kiyomi stood up as Ukita did and walked him to the door. "I'll see you later won't I Ukita-san?" Kiyomi asked a small smile remaining on her lips. "I doubt it" Ukita said as he walked out of the door without ever looking back. "Goodbye Ukita-san" Takada said in a friendly voice in case any of her neighbors heard their conversation.

Closing the door silently she shut the door and locked it. Moving back to her room Takada pulled out the death note and opened it to the page she had just written on. 'Ukita, Hirokazu tells the person he is knows the CIA's secrets and writes down ways to find those members pictures. After he is done he leaves the apartment building and dies in a car crash' Takada read slowly proud of her handiwork. Either way she was going to have to kill him, this way just made her job a lot more simple. 'Hope dad isn't to upset' Takada thought but didn't really care she had only seen the man a few times throughout her life and had never felt any attachment to the detective.

She still felt guilty through, Ukita had been one of her father's best friends but this is another job she had to take on. The gods may have not chosen her, according to Ryuk he just dropped the notebook and it happened to hit her in the face, but it all happened to be one big coincidence. But it didn't matter because she had still received the death note and crime rate had already dropped 20. She would have to ignore the few tears that slid down her face.

She wiped away the few tears and made sure her makeup wasn't running. At the moment she wouldn't be able to access the files from home. Doing so could be dangerous. Grabbing her purse from the bed Takada placed the death note in it. Making her way out the door she headed toward the library. It would be open for another two hours and the quicker she wrote the names the more content she would be.

Making her way into the public library Takada made a beeline to the computers making sure to choose one that was not around other people. She began her search on the web for New York high school photos. Using her access of the press she was able to break into the system and pull up the pictures of the men she was looking for.

Looking around the room to make sure no one was around Takada pulled out her notebook and quickly wrote down the names a small smile crossing her face as she finished. Quickly putting the notebook back Takada got out of the program she was in.

Going back to her apartment she felt a sense of accomplishment because she had finished writing down the names of people who would defiantly get L's attention.

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A beeping sound came from the computer alerting L to a new message from one of the higher people in the government. Moving quickly back to his computer L pulled up the connection. "This is L" he said making sure the computer altered his voice. "I'm so glad you answered instead of your associate" a deep baritone voice said from the other side of the line. "What has happened Mr. Steele?" L asked wanting to get straight to the point.

"Our top five members of the CIA have died of heart attacks" the man responded. L's eyes widened in shock. "How far apart were their deaths?" L asked. "A second" the man said sounding stressed. "I see I had heard that five members of the CIA were accepting bribes from criminals, Mr. Steele do you know anyone who would talk?" L asked. "No I do not. Please find Kira soon before he has a chance to kill again" Mr. Steele said in a pleading tone.

"I will find Kira and bring her to justice" L said and with that cut the connection. "Her?" Watari asked carrying a tray of coffee and strawberry shortcake. "I do believe that Kira is female. Even though there have been over a thousand criminals deaths she hasn't gone completely 

overboard because at the moment she had killed 1,386 people in a three year time span. My guess is Kira was building her reputations and focusing more on her career than criminals. I am not sure how she got those men from the CIA. Kira has never once hacked into police files to obtain information. Watari I want you to do background checks on everyone who is one the task force" L said adding seven crèmes to his coffee.

"Even the Yagami family?" Watari asked standing next to L. "Yes" L said simply as he picked up his fork with his index finger and thumb. "I doubt Sayu-chan is Kira" Watari said, a small smile on his lips. "I do to, but I will need all records for every family member in the task force. Kira has gone much further than I thought she would" L said taking a bit from his cake.

"I will gather the files and have a list bought to you in a few hours. There is another thing you should know, Ukita-san is dead" Watari said as L turned back to face him. "How did he die?" L asked not showing any surprise. "He died in a car accident twenty minutes ago" Watari said calmly.

"I had heard that Ukita-san was one of the best drivers in Kanto, I want you to gather files on all of Ukita's family and friends and their intimidate family" L said starting to type in his computer. "Do you believe that it was the work of Kira?" Watari asked looking at the back of his grandson's head. "Ukita-san had connections in the CIA, I don't think that it is a coincidence that he happened to die not long before the other CIA members" L said as his hands moved rapidly over the keyboard.

"I see I will bring the files to you as soon as possible" Watari said as he left the room quietly.

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Watari had come back into the room to drop off the files to L along with more tea and chocolate chip cookies. Ryuuzaki had thanked him and allowed Watari to retire for the night. His grandfather was not that young anymore and L made sure he never asked for anything during the late hours of the night. After all he wasn't a completely spoiled adult.

L looked through all the files on the remaining task force first. Ten of them had dropped out not wanting to risk their lives. L knew that once the task force learned about the CIA members deaths many of them would start to leave and with the death of Ukita as well this would cause the numbers to dwindle down more. But it was a good opportunity to see who was truly loyal to catching Kira and to see who wasn't. L knew that after this he would have to show himself to the remaining task force members.

It was the only way to gain their trust back once they learned that he had done background checks on them. 'There goes prolonging meeting Raito as long as possible' Ryuuzaki thought un-

happily. As much as he loathed working with others he would still need the police help to catch Kira. He couldn't have the NPA not trusting him, it always made working with people so much more difficult.

At the moment he had basic info on everyone he requested. He decided to make three piles. One would be for people who were differently innocent, another would be for those who could possibly be Kira, and the last one would be for people who had the highest chance of being Kira.

He finished going through the task force members at three a.m. only one person had been put into the pile of a person who could possibly be Kira and that was Raito. The main reason being how smart Raito was and L knew that the older man could gain any information he wanted just by asking others with a smile on his face.

It was five a.m. once L had finished looking through the list of Ukita friends. Only one other person had joined the pile that Raito was in and that was Kiyomi Takada.

That women screamed give me attention. Her news stories were always the highlight of the news. She somehow always seemed to be in the right place at the right time with a news crew. They would find the most recent criminals who would die as she was reporting live. L wasn't sure how she did it, but he didn't believe that Takada had that much luck.

At the moment L only had the basic information about her and bought up a search page to see what he could find on Takada. L read through every bit of information he could get on her, which wasn't that difficult he knew everything down to Kiyomi's favorite color.

Ryuuzaki heard a set of footsteps approach from behind him before the image of Watari caught the corner of his eye. "Good morning L, I presume you did not sleep again" Watari said as a statement. "You would be correct" L said as Watari placed a tray on the small table besides L who was still squatting on the floor and leaning over slightly to get a better look at his computer.

"Did you find anyone who you may suspect of being Kira?" Watari asked looking down at L once he had re-straightened himself. "Takada Kiyomi seems to be doing really well especially after the death of Demegawa who was a pig to began with. At the moment I believe that Takada-san is the most likely person to being Kira" L said not happy with his deduction as well, but it was the best that he got at the moment. The task force was not going to be happy with that. "Is there anything else you need of me?" Watari asked.

"No, that will be all Watari" L said dismissively. Watari footsteps faded away as L re-pulled up some documents of Takada trying to find more solid evidence against her.

Deciding to start with her old school files Ryuuzaki pulled up the college files. 'Went to To-Oh, majored in anchoring, dates Raito Yagami of and on, may be transferring to NHN station. Wait dated Raito-kun' L re-read looking surprised.

'Raito-kun cannot choose woman. First he dates Misa, who is a moron and now Kiyomi who could be a mass murderer. And if we had dated I would be the odd one' L thought amusedly while bringing up another page of how Takada got along with her co-workers.

A vibration sound in L's pants alerted him to a call. "Moshi moshi" L said, his eyes never leaving the screen. "I have reached the NPA and am going to hook up the computer soon" Watari said knowing his grandson did not know about the meeting. "I see, I will be ready by then" L said starting to print of some of the information before exiting out of the programs.

His laptop made a beeping sound alerting him to the connection. Hitting a key the task force appeared.

"Let's get right into business; do any of you believe we have any suspects for Kira?" L asked flatly. "No, we haven't found anyone who could possibly be Kira, have you had any luck?" Soichiro asked staring at the laptop. Everyone else in the room turned to face the laptop as well. "I believe that Kiyomi Takada can be Kira" L said waiting for the protests.

"I have heard many things about Takada-san and she does not sound like she could kill thousands of people much less a single person" Soichiro said stiffly. "You have all heard that Ukita-san is dead correct" L said ignoring Soichrio's outburst. L saw the nod of heads before he began talking again. "Then you all should know that Takada-san father was good friends with Ukita-san. Ukita-san received a phone call of someone close enough to him that he was willingly to meet them in private. We were unable to trace the number back to the person and Kiyomi-san was the only person with a number I had difficulty getting. This raises her chances of being Kira, because of that" L said looking at Raito the whole time, even though the younger man couldn't see him.

"That may be so Ryuuzaki, but you have to have more reasons than just that" Raito said his face blank of any emotion. "I have done a background checks on everyone in the task force, and none of you are suspected. But Kiyomi-san is different. She is able to gain access of criminals who are being broadcasted on the news. It wouldn't even be suspicious because of her anchoring job. " L said blandly.

"You believe that Kiyomi-san met with Ukita-san because of her connection with him" Raito asked sounding skeptical about this. "Ukita knew information about the CIA and know the top five members of the CIA are dead. I do not believe that that is a coincidence" L said as he saw the other members look surprise at the news. "Why wouldn't she use a heart attack to kill him 

then?" Matsuda asked looking lost. "She seems like she would be smart enough to know that if she left her signature move with the heart attacks it would be more obvious that it was Kira who killed Ukita" L said hoping Raito would join his side, though chances of that happening was only at a forty percent chance.

"That's insane L. And you did background checks on us after you said that none of us were suspects" Aizawa said outraged. "I would not have done the checks if five members of the CIA hadn't died" L said simply. "That still doesn't mean you should have invaded all our privacy!" Aizawa said outraged. "No, L had a good point on doing that. After all it is not common knowledge to know what top officials are corrupted" Soichiro said calmly.

"Your members are already dwindling. The more intelligent members have stayed. I will admit I do need the help of the police for this case, but if you do not like the way I operate then either leave or deal with the way I work" L said a slight annoyance coming from the computer.

Raito turned his attention to the computer amusement in his eyes. "For someone who needs help with this investigation you are very disrespectful to your co-workers" Raito said staring at the L intently. "I guess my way is just more blunt than Yagami-kuns" L said. Raito amusement didn't leave his face. "My social skills are more polite it's not my fault that you have social issues" Raito said. "Perhaps not, but at this moment all of those who wish to drop this case please leave the room. I want people who are completely dedicated to this case. If you plan on maybe backing out of this case in the future then leave now" L said in a stern tone.

At first no one moved not wanting to be the first people to admit that they rather live than risk their lives and put a mass murderer behind bars. Then slowly a man stood up and walked over to the door his head down the whole time. Slowly more members left as well and more than half of the room cleared out. Only six people reminded in the room.

"I'm glad that we now know who is dedicated and who isn't" L said pausing for a moment not wanting to say the next thing, but knowing that it was futile. "In order to show all of you that I do trust you I think it is time we met face to face, Watari" L said and right away Watari turned the computer around and began to type something up and once he was finished he flipped it back over to let the others read. "Do not read this aloud" L warned before going back to be quiet again. The six remaining members all gathered around the computer and began to read through the message, each one gaining a look of surprise on their face. "Follow those instructions exactly, I hope to see you all there" L voice sad and with that Watari re-spun the laptop around and shut it down before rising from his chair and walking out of the room.

"Do you think we should go?" Ide asked not trusting L completely. "No one has ever met L before; I can't believe he actually wants to meet us!" Matsuda said excitedly. "Matsuda that is 

not something that should be bought up at the moment" Soichiro said in a scolding voice. "I'm sorry chief" Matsuda said sounding dejected.

"I think that Matsuda has a point" Raito said in a thoughtful voice. Matsuda turned to face Raito, a large grin sweeping across his face. "L had never once met with anyone before and if he is willing to meet with us I don't think we should turn down his offer. We need L's resources to catch Kira. With the ones we have know we will all be going around in circles unable to catch Kira." Raito said looking around the group to see what their reactions were.

"I still don't like him or the way he works" Aizawa said frowning. "Nor do I, but he is L and with his record of never failing to solve a case his help would be welcomed" Raito said with a matching frown on his face. "Is there anyone who does not wish to join with L?" Soichiro asked looking around the group. "I don't want to work with that man" Ide said. "Come on Ide, how many other people can say they met L in person?" Matsuda said confused about why anyone would turn down such an offer.

"Look you guys can go to him later on tonight but I will not work with a man with such a reckless attitude" Ide said as he gathered his things and walked to the door. "I wish you all the best of luck" Ide said as he opened the door and shut it behind himself. "Anyone else wish to leave the group?" Soichiro asked again as he looked at the others faces. "I will see this case through for Ukita's sake" Aizawa said determinedly. "Good, let's all go and take a break for awhile. We are not meeting L until midnight, for now the rest of you are dismissed" Soichiro said as he gathered up his papers and left the room, the rest following behind him quickly.

Only Raito remained in the room as he sat and stared at where L's laptop would be. He was finally going to see Ryuuzaki again. The same man who had left him after admitting his supposed love. A cold fury run though Raito's veins at the thought of Ryuuzaki truly being L. He knew there was a chance that Ryuuzaki was not L, but he highly doubted it, too many coincidences for Ryuuzaki not to be. He was looking forward to seeing Ryuuzaki again and gaining the closure he longed to obtain.

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The five of them met outside of the Hilton hotel at eleven fifty. "There is no turning back now" Soichiro said to the remaining team members. "We should head up and not keep him waiting" Soichiro said walking into the building with Mogi and Aizawa. L had asked that the two break up into two groups. Raito wanted to see Ryuuzaki, he had been preparing himself for years, but the cold fury had not left him and he wanted to see Ryuuzaki in a neutral state not in an angered one.

"I can't wait to go up there and meet the L" Matsuda cheered happily. Raito seriously considered hitting Matsuda right there. They were lucky that there was next to no one in the lobby. "Matsuda-san you should not say that name out loud" Raito said pulling out his cell phone to see the time. Eleven fifty five. "Let's go up Matsuda-san" Raito said walking toward the elevator, Matsuda following quickly behind him. The two rode up in silence and the doors opened to reveal the other members waiting for the two.

Soichiro knocked on the door and a mono tone voice said to come in. Opening the door everyone moved into the room before looking at the figure who was looking bored at everyone.

L lifted his left foot up and scratched his right leg. Burying his hands deep into his pockets L spoke. "I am L" he said after the door had been firmly shut. Everyone eyes widened in surprise. Raito wanted to move closer to him, to let his fist fly and smash into Ryuuzaki's blank face. But he didn't, his body was frozen. After all this time of not seeing Ryuuzaki Raito hadn't really thought he would see the younger man again. Now here they were standing only twenty feet away and Raito couldn't bring himself to move closer.

It was pulsing through him, running through every inch of his body screaming at him to be released. The cold fury was building in him wanting to be released, but Raito squashed the feeling. His body broke out of his shock as he moved in front of the rest of the team. A slow smile graced his face. "It's nice to finally meet the infamous L" Raito said coyly. "As it is to meet the youngest member of the NPA, who flew through his training" L said his eyes locking with Raito's for a brief second.

Raito took a step closer to L and lowered his voice, "Once we are done with talking about the important points of this case you will talk to me" Raito said in a no nonsense tone. L gave a barely noticeable nod of his head and Raito blended himself back into the group.

"I can't believe you are L!" Matsuda said breaking the silence that had settled upon the room. "And I can't believe that your still on the case" L said blankly. "Place your cell phones and other electronic devices on that table over there" L said pointing to a waist high table that was pressed up against the wall. "Why should we, do you think we will be getting a call at this time of night?" Aizawa asked sounding offended. "This meeting is going to be awhile and yes I do believe that someone will call you. I do not like being interpreted while I am talking" L said walking away from the task force members.

Everyone placed their phones down and followed L into the main setting room. Raito found the meeting to be pointless, they were just re-talking about things that had already been discussed. It wasn't until seven a.m. until the group were no longer discussing the case.

"Someone should go back to task force headquarters. We will always need at least one person there" L said stirring his tea around. "Aizawa-san will you head back to task force headquarters?" Soichiro asked as he looked over at Aizawa who was sitting next to him. "Of course chief" Aizawa said as he stood up and left.

The rest of the team began to busy themselves with work as Raito stood up. "I need to talk to you" Raito said looking at Ryuuzaki. "Alright" Ryuuzaki agreed knowing that pushing it back even more would anger Raito even more. He rose from the chair and led the way into the bedroom knowing that Raito would want as much privacy as possible.

Ryuuzaki heard the door shut with a soft click. He turned around to get a fist smashing into his face. His body jerked backwards and he hit the red carpet with a small thump.

"I guess I deserved that" L said as he got up from the floor. His cheek throbbing from where Raito had hit him, but he ignored it. "You deserve much more than that" Raito said angrily, his eyes staring directly into L's. "At the time I thought it would be for the best" Ryuuzaki said offhandedly. "That is a lie and we both know it" Raito said stepping closer to L.

Involuntarily Ryuuzaki took a step back at the hatred coming off of Raito in waves. "Raito-kun was about to start college, I did not wish to damage his education" Ryuuzaki said standing his ground. Not letting Raito see how nervous he was.

"Oh how kind of you Ryuuzaki" Raito said clenching his fist into a tight ball. "And here I thought my best friend would invite me to come along instead of leaving me behind, especially after he admits to loving me" Raito said letting the hurt flash through his eyes for an instant before he removed it.

"It was a lot to take in and I figured Raito-kun would want some time to think about it" Ryuuzaki said blankly. "I didn't need four years!" Raito exclaimed. "If you would have asked me I would have come with you" Raito said his voice losing some of his anger. "But the reason you did not ask was because you feared I would reject you. You ran away Ryuuzaki and hid behind a gothic L letter. It did take me awhile to know what my exact feelings were for you, but all there is now is a cold rage that you created. I don't forgive you Ryuuzaki and even if you want it or not I don't care because it will never come" Raito said with a un-describe look in his eyes.

"It's a good thing I don't want it then" Ryuuzaki said making sure to stare directly into Raito's eyes.

Something in Raito's eyes closed off and Ryuuzaki was tempted to take back what he said, but he wouldn't. This job entitled much more danger than Raito's and in order to protect his friend he would not take it back, no matter how much he wanted to.

"I see" Raito said as he turned around and headed toward the door; his hand hovering over the doorknob. "And here I thought you may have changed your mind about leaving me behind" Raito said his hand gripping the doorknob tightly. "What a silly thing for Raito-kun to think" L agreed walking over to Raito and placing his hand on top of the others. Twisting the knob the door opened with a small click. Raito didn't move, allowing the feeling of touching Ryuuzaki again to settle over him, for he knew it wouldn't last long.

"Is Raito-kun not going to exit?" L asked with his hand still on top of the others. Raito pushed to door all the way open and shoved L's hand off of his own, breaking the connect with the person he still wanted.

Raito moved back over to the others looking un-affected. Soichiro gave his son a worried glance, but Raito just smiled letting his father think he was ok. He still hadn't obtained his closure and Raito didn't think it would be as easy as he hoped it would be.

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End of chapter 6

My beta, Sistine the angel of Hell, was not fully able to give me back the edited version of this chapter. Let us all hope her sprained wrist will get better soon.

I apologize for grammar mistakes and once I get the edited version up I will post it. It seems only fair to let you guys see the meeting since it was supposed to be in the last chapter.

If you haven't already please go vote on poll and I would really appreciate it and also if someone would tell me what they think of my poem 'she knew.'

So do you like the meeting between the two or did I screw it up? Please review and tell me puppy dog eyes, pretty please.

I don't know the next one will be up could be over a month again, maybe longer or shorter.

Again please review!

-rain angst


	7. Close calls

Title- The Choices we make

Talking ""

Thinking ''

I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

I have a question I am thinking about doing a what if Raito went with L on the night L admitted his love and left. Would you all like to see that or not?

_**Chapter 7**_

 Ratio took a seat near his father after exiting the room with Ryuuzaki.

"L-san what should we call you?" Matsuda asked as he looked up at Ryuuzaki, who had taken a seat on the green chair that was close to Soichiro. "While we are here you all may call me Ryuuzaki" L said grabbing the tea cup off of the table in front of him.

Raito felt his body go rigid. His eyes briefly flashed over to meet with Ryuuzaki's. "Is there something wrong with my name Raito-kun?" L asked taking a sip of his English green tea. "No" Raito said as he leaned over and took a document off of the table. Wondering how long it was going to take from someone else to recognize Ryuuzaki. After all, every member in the room had at least caught a glimpse of Ryuuzaki once; Matsuda being the last person to see him, when Ryuuzaki and he were ten.

"You look like someone I met once" Matsuda said, as he looked at Ryuuzaki more closely, trying to pin point how he knew the other man. "I advise you not to think about it" L said in a crisp monotone voice. "Of course" Matsuda replied meekly before getting back to work.

One by the one the other members began to leave to head home. Until only Soichiro, Raito, and Ryuuzaki were left.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?" Raito asked as he turned his attention to L. "Whatever does Raito-kun mean?" L asked tilting his head to the side. "You told the team your real name!" Raito said infuriated. "I would rather be called by my real name, after all I met all the members on the team at least once," L said as he leaned over and grabbed more sugar cubes.

"Doesn't mean you should remind them of what it is" Raito pointed out flatly. "Perhaps, but I have my reasons" Ryuuzaki said as he finished of his tea. "What reason could that possible be" Raito asked as he placed the document in his hand back on the table. "One that Raito-kun does not need to know" L responded, as he placed his tea cup on the table.

"I see" Raito said as he grabbed a new document off of the table. "You two may go home and get some rest," L said as he stood up and headed toward the kitchen. "I'm going to go. You should come with me. Sachiko wants you to come home and visit, and so does Sayu." Soichiro said as he stood up while stretching slightly. "I'll come home then" Raito said knowing he couldn't avoid going home forever.

Neither one said goodbye to Ryuuzaki, knowing that was the real reason the younger man had left the room.

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The investigation headquarters moved from hotel to hotel every few days, and really, Raito was tired of it, for it had been happening for a month now. Ryuuzaki was rarely talking to him, and only did so when it suited him. But Raito was fine with that, because he wasn't ready for another confrontation with Ryuuzaki, not yet.  

Raito made his way into the hotel room, where the rest of the team were already, and took a seat on the couch, opposite of L's end. A few good mornings' were exchanged and no spoke for the rest of the morning.

"It's lunch time!" Matsuda cheered happily, as he stood up from his spot at the far corner of the hotel room. "Let's go out to this new pizza joint, I heard they have the best pizza there," Matsuda cheered happily "Sounds like a good idea," Aizawa said, as he stood up as well. Mogi was the next to get up with Soichiro following suit. "Do you want to come to Raito, Ryuuzaki-san?" Soichiro asked, looking over at the two youngest detectives.

"I don't go out" L said simply, not even bothering to look back at the older detective. Soichiro turned his questioning gaze to Raito. "No thanks, I'm not hungry," Raito said, smiling at his father reassuringly. "Alright, we will be back before the hour is up," Soichiro said walking out of the door. "You're not hungry often," L remarked, after taking a bit of chocolate cake. "Seems that way," Raito agreed as he stood up from his seat and made his way over to the door. "I'll be back soon," Raito said, over his shoulder, not even bothering to turn around.

The door opened and shut in a silent gesture, as Raito made his way over to elevator, and pressed the up button. With a soft ding the elevator doors opened, and shut, once Raito had entered.

The ride was short, since he was only going up a few floors. Getting out slowly, Raito was glad once he felt the cool air hitting his face. That room was suffocating him again, but it no longer mattered. He was already growing accustomed to the feeling.

Flipping his cell phone open, Raito noticed a text message from Kiyomi. The subject just said meet up; with a slight sigh of annoyance Raito opened it up to look over the message.

Meet me for lunch at one o'clock usual spot - Kiyomi.

Glancing down at his silver watch that his father had bought him for his fifteenth birthday, it read 12:45. The task force break started at twelve thirty. Raito made his way back over to the elevator, and decided against telling L, since he wouldn't notice if Raito was absent.

The cafe was only three blocks away from the hotel, and Raito got there five minutes early, settling for a table that was near the back and ensured more privacy. Not that he needed it with Kiyomi, but he didn't like standing out. Kiyomi arrived exactly on time, and smiled slightly, as she moved over to Raito. "I see you beat me here again," Kiyomi said with amusement in her voice. "I'm already in my lunch break," Raito said. "I see, lucky me you didn't decide to go eat with the other members of your team," Kiyomi said, as she opened up the menu.

The waitress came over, and took the orders, before leaving. "What investigation are you working on at the moment?" Kiyomi asked, as the waitress came back over, and dropped off their drinks. "I'm working on a serial killer case," Raito said. "Oh really, is it the Kira case?" Kiyomi asked, taking a small sip of her tea. "No," Raito said, not trusting Kiyomi completely for her to know that.

"How do you feel about Kira?" Kiyomi asked, as she looked at Raito, anticipating his response. "I agree with the methods for the most part. After all the crime rate has dropped, and it is mainly criminals that Kira is killing. Though I think it is a little early for Kira to be killing corrupted officials." Raito said, adding a single sugar cube to his coffee.

"If Kira ever asked you to join their side would you?" Kiyomi asked, running her index finger along the rim of her cup. Raito's eyes only widened slightly at the comment.  If he joined Kira that would be going against what his job stood for, what L stood for. And even though he would love to piss off Ryuuzaki, he could not do a betrayal like that.  Realizing he hadn't answered Kiyomi yet, Raito turned his attention to her. "I would not join their side, but at the same time I wouldn't turn Kira in," Raito said, lying through his teeth.

"I see," Kiyomi said, looking disappointed. "Have you re-met your friend yet?" Takada asked, deciding to change the topic for now. "No, he seems to have dropped off of the planet," Raito replied. After all, Ryuuzaki had never truly come back to him. At that moment, the waitress came out to drop off their food. The two continued with small talk about their jobs, before Raito paid for the bill, and the two left the well lit cafe.

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Raising his hand to knock on the door, it opened before Raito's knuckle even met wood. "Welcome back Yagami-san," Watari said, smiling gently at Raito. "Whammy-san," Raito said politely back, since no one else was in the room. Watari's smile grew a little bit bigger at that, as the elderly gentleman turned to leave and Raito couldn't help but wonder where Watari went.

"Raito-kun did not come straight back," L pointed out nonchalantly. "I'm not late, so it doesn't really matter, or does it matter to you Ryuuzaki"' Raito asked, while pulling of his jacket and hanging it on the back of the couch, before taking his seat next to L. "No, it doesn't," L agreed, as he took a bite of his chocolate pudding that had been placed in front of him by Watari before Raito had re-entered the room.

"I think, you may be right about Kiyomi-san," Raito said, as he faced L. Ryuuzaki's hand paused over his keyboard, as he turned to face Raito. "What did she say?" L asked intrigued. "She asked me what I would do if Kira asked me to join her," Raito said, leaning back on the couch he was sharing with L. "What was your response?" L asked, feeling nervous.

 He knew what Raito's idea of justice was and it fit rather closely to Kira's. Raito looked at L before turning his attention back to the laptop that was placed on the round table in front of him. "I told her that I could not accept the offer, but I would not turn Kira in," Raito replied, pulling the lock off of his computer, since L still preferred to have everyone put a security lock on their computer if they were gone for too long.

"Good, she does not know you are on the Kira case then?" L asked, as his voice relaxed slightly. "She doesn't," Raito agreed. Ryuuzaki turned back to face his own computer. "Never agree to work with her. We don't need someone going undercover to discover this secret," L said, as his hands flew over his keyboard.

Raito didn't say anything, as he got back to work as well, a small beeping sound altered L to a new message. "Yes," L said, bringing up the connection. "The building that the old L requested will be ready for use next week," Watari said, through the monitor. "I see, thank you Watari," L said, as he cut the connection.

"The old L?" Raito inquired, as he lifted up an eyebrow. "Of course Raito-kun, there is no way I could have been L for fifty years now," Ryuuzaki pointed out. "When you became the new L that was four years ago was it not?" Raito asked, not sounding surprised. "You would be correct," L said. "I see," Raito responded blandly.

"Raito-kun," L said, getting the attention of the older man. "Yes?" Raito asked, turning to face L.

"I…," L began, but was cut off by the entrance of Matsuda. "Hey, you guys!" Matsuda cheered happily, as he walked into the room. "What is it, Ryuuzaki?" Raito asked, ignoring the cheerful Matsuda. "Nothing, Raito-kun," L said, waiting for the other three members to enter the room. "That was some good pizza," Aizawa said, as he walked in the room with Soichiro and Mogi following behind him.

"I would like you all to gather around the computer, so that I can tell you where our headquarters will be within the next week," L said, as he began to type furiously on his laptop. Raito scooted over on the couch to sit directly next to L, while the other team members leaned over the couch to get a better look at the computer screen.

"It has twenty three floors above ground and two sub basements. You can't see from the street, but we have two helicopters on the roof," L said, as the task force members leaned closer to look at the building. "You are free to move into the building if you wish, but you would not be allowed to bring your families for obvious reasons," L said.

"I'll move in," Matsuda gushed happily. L turned his head to Mogi to see him nod his head in agreement. "I have a family with young children, I can't stay," Aizawa said, sounding slightly disappointed. "I should stay with my family for the time as well, but when the case picks up I would like to move in," Soichiro said, as he glanced down at Raito. "I'm going to have to move in, my apartment is too far away to commute," Raito said, hiding his disappointment.

"I'll tell Watari to make accommodations for you," L said, as he typed something up on his laptop and sent a message. "I'll start looking at other possible suspects for the Kira case," Aizawa said, as he made his way over to the small area he deemed to be his work area. Soichiro and Mogi followed suit. "Do you want me to get you anything Ryuuzaki-san?" Matsuda asked.

"If you wish to make yourself useful get me some coffee?" L said, as he began to look at some of Takada's recent movements. "Right away," Matsuda said, scurrying off to go get the coffee. "He is not that bad of a cop," Raito said. Matsuda may be air headed, but he was sharp when he needed to be. "When he proves himself, then I might start thinking differently about him," Ryuuzaki said, but highly doubted it. "It's a start," Raito said, as he slid back over to his side of the couch.

A few moments later, Matsuda came back with two cups of coffee in his hands. "I thought you would like one to Raito-kun," Matsuda said, grinning, as he placed down the mugs in front of their rightful owners. "Thank you, Matsuda-san," Raito said, glancing briefly up at the older man. "No problem," Matsuda said happily, before making his way over to another couch on the other side of the room. Raito placed the laptop on the table, and grabbed the coffee cup. Taking a small sip, Raito pulled the cup quickly away from his lips. 'So much sugar,' Raito thought, annoyed.

Out of the corner of his eye, Raito saw L take the cup into his hands. He could warn Ryuuzaki that it was pure black coffee, but that would kill his joy of seeing L's reaction.

Tilting the cup back, L let the hot coffee run down his throat, only to spit it out at the first taste. Sticking out his tongue, L began to use his sleeve to wipe away the awful taste off of his tongue. "Something wrong, Ryuuzaki?" Raito asked, as he turned his head to face the younger man with an amused smile on his face. "You knew this coffee was tainted," L said accusingly.

"I did," Raito agreed, not losing his amused smile. "You wanted to see my tongue suffer," L said, slightly annoyed. "If I said no, it would be a lie," Raito agreed. "This coffee is yours," L said, dangling the cup as far away from himself as possible. "This one is yours," Raito said, as his arms outstretched to his side. L used his right hand to grab the cup, and switched cups with Raito.

"Raito-kun is cruel," L said, taking a large gulp of his now overly sugar coffee. "Not as cruel as you," Raito said, placing the coffee on the table, grabbing his laptop off of the table, and starting to look at the newest list of criminals who had died.

Ryuuzaki pulled out his cell phone from his back pocket, and dialed Watari's number. "Watari, I need you to bring me a new laptop," L said, and went quiet for a moment. "_Yes, I got coffee on it….alright," L said, as he hung up the phone. Watari came in a few moments later with a new laptop already hooked up. "Were you expecting this to happen?" Raito asked, surprised that the computer was already up and running. "One can never be too careful in this line of work," Watari said.

Raito just nodded his head in understanding.

The rest of the day went by uneventful.

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Being in the same room as Ryuuzaki was one thing, but having the feeling of living with Ryuuzaki, again, was too much. As kids, and even teenagers, one of them had always been at the other's house. They had been connected at the hip, like Sayu would often say. Now Raito would be living in the same house as Ryuuzaki again, and all for the sake of the Kira case. At the moment he wasn't sure if he wanted to thank Kira for making the two meet again and even live near one another again. But at the same time, the anger he felt toward Ryuuzaki was still there, though it died down at times to a low roar in his ears.

He didn't want to be able to handle it. After the last private encounter, he hadn't even bothered to try and gain closure. All it did was fade away into background noise at the possible of having Ryuuzaki back. It didn't mean he still wanted love from Ryuuzaki, no it was not that. But at the same time, he wanted things to go back to the way it used to be. Though he would never tell Ryuuzaki that. What was left of his pride would not allow him to do so.

'I guess I am at a standstill,' Raito thought, glancing outside of his apartment window.

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The rest of the week passed by un-eventful, and the day Raito was dreading arrived faster than he would have liked.

Moving day.

Once again he was relocating himself, and all for the sake of not having to commute for an hour.

Raito went through the eye scan and hand scan with ease before arriving at the elevator. His clothes were packed in two big suitcases and three duffle bags. The silver doors slid open to reveal Ryuuzaki. "Why are you in the elevator?" Raito asked, looking annoyed. "I am here to help Raito-kun," L said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Are you going to help Mogi-san and Matsuda-san as well?" Raito asked emphatically. "Of course not," L said flatly. The two of them leaned on opposite sides of the elevator, neither one saying a thing. The doors didn't open until they reached the twentieth floor. They individually stepped out of the elevator with L in the lead. "You're not going to take any of my bags?" Raito asked, raising an eyebrow at Ryuuzaki's back. "We're almost to your bedroom," L said, as he opened up a door on his right.

"This will be your bedroom for the remainder of the case," L said, as he allowed Raito to enter first. Raito glanced around, not really interested in the room. "I will leave you to unpack," L said, as he made his way out of the room and shut the door quietly behind him.

With a small sigh Raito walked through the large living room and found the bedroom, which in turn was connected to the bathroom. Placing the few bags he carried down, Raito exited the room to view his new living quarters. 'A building where Ryuuzaki would probably pass out from exhaustion every so often, just because he couldn't learn to sleep at night like normal people. What if he sneaks in while I am asleep?' Raito thought, but quickly pushed the thought back. After all, it's not like L would, since the younger man didn't care anymore.

Making his way to the bathroom, Raito flicked on the lights and paused in front of the mirror.

Mirrors. He had once enjoyed looking into them, as it reflected his perfection back to him, but now they mocked him. For surely, no one as bright as him should have been shaken from their pedestal by one person. But here he was an imitation of what he used to be, and all because of a selfish man who had left him behind.

Attachments were for the weak and he kept falling back into them like an ordinary human, and Yagami Raito was no ordinary person. Yet here he was having problems like a normal person when he should not be. The bright light reflected off of the mirror, mocking him from where he stood. His hands were itching to tear down that symbol of normality that had appeared in the mirror whenever he looked at it. Raito's hands shot out to grab the mirror on both sides tightly. His body leaning over the sink lightly with his head bowed.

'I can't do it, or normality will truly win. Not to mention L probably has this room bugged,' Raito thought, releasing the mirror slowly, and allowing his hands to slide down to the sink.

Turning on the tap, Raito moved to splash water on his face. Once he was finished, he straightened himself out and turned around abruptly, not wanting to see his reflection again.

Turning the light off, Raito made his way out of the bathroom while shutting the door firmly.

Unpacking everything didn't take that long for Raito, and within the next two hours he was done.

"I see you have finished," L said from behind Raito. Spinning around, Raito saw L standing in the doorway. "What are you doing in here?" Raito asked baldly as he moved over to lay on the bed and shut his eyes. "I do own this building," L pointed out, as he walked over to stand next to Raito's legs. "Which doesn't mean that you should enter bedrooms that other people are staying in," Raito pointed out. "I have come to a decision on what to do with regard to progression with this case. The rest of the team is here and I need you to come downstairs so that I can explain it to everyone at once," L said, not moving. "Fine," Raito replied, as he reopened his eyes to meet with L's blank ones.

Still the same, Raito thought idly, as he sat up. The other reason he hated mirrors so much, was because of Ryuuzaki's eyes. It was like looking into a mirror whenever you got to close. "Are you going to back up so I can stand?" Raito asked, as he raised an eyebrow. L said nothing, as he moved a few feet backwards.

"Let's go," Raito said, as he turned around to see L staring at his back. "Raito-kun is not going to get his closure?" L asked, titling his head to the side slightly. "It can wait," Raito responded, as he turned back around. "Let's go downstairs then," L said, as he lead the way out of Raito's room. "You don't have to lead the way," Raito pointed out dryly. "Do you know which floor to get on?" L asked, looking at Raito with a knowing smile.

"No," Raito admitted unhappily. "Then I get to lead," L said, smirking in victory.

Once again, they rode in silence.

The doors opened to reveal the rest of the task force working. The two made their way over to the rest of the team. "I have a matter to discuss with all of you," L said, as he made his way over to a large table that was placed off to the side of the room. It had six chairs around it. Each member took a seat around the table, waiting for L to speak.

"In order to catch Kira I believe we should install cameras inside Takada Kiyomi's apartment," L said, waiting for the protests that were bound to come. "That's insane Ryuuzaki. We can't just put cameras in her house and watch her, it's unethical and against the law," Soichiro said disapprovingly.

"At the same time, it will help prove whether Takada is Kira or not. We need a more effective way to pin her down as Kira, and she is not smart enough to know she is being watched," L said, as he placed his hands on top of his bent knees. "But why watch her like that?" Soichiro asked.

"Someone tailing her would only work for when she is outside, and the FBI has turned me down for sending someone to stalk her since they don't want any of their top members dying." L said. "Even the FBI is corrupted?" Matsuda said looking surprised. "Matsuda-san, all corporations are tainted in some way, just like people," L pointed out.

"Takada-san is our only lead, and if we watch her it will tell us whether she truly is Kira," L said, in a monotone voice. "I see your point, but I am going to have to tell the head of police," Soichiro conceded. "He should know, now does everyone else agree?" L asked, looking around the table. Everyone nodded head once.

"Good, I will have Watari put in the cameras and microphones tomorrow afternoon. We will take turns watching Takada's movements, and even when she is not home I still want her apartment to be watched."

"Who will take what shifts?" Matsuda asked, looking slightly confused. "The five of you will take turns with the day shift and up to the late evening, while I will take the ten o'clock to eight o'clock shift," Ryuuzaki said, unconcerned.

"Ryuuzaki, you still need to get a few hours of sleep a night. I will help you with the night shift," Raito said determinedly.

"That is not necessary."

"Yes it is, you have to sleep eventually or else you will pass out from exhaustion, which you shouldn't be doing in the first place," Raito chided L, for what felt like the millionth time.

"Are you going to nag me until I agree?" L asked raising a slim eyebrow. "Yes," Raito replied easily. "Fine, you can take a few hours of the night shift then," L said in defeat, Raito smirked in victory.

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Raito made his way up to his bedroom after everyone else had gone home. Usually, he would stay in the investigation room a little longer, but if Takada was Kira she would easily be found out once they put the cameras in her apartment. Raito knew that he should not be doing what he was about to do, but he wasn't ready to say good bye to Ryuuzaki again, and this move would buy him some time.  

Once Raito had entered the room, he grabbed his cell phone off of the small table by the door. Flipping it open, Raito typed a message to Takada, asking her to meet him at eleven a.m. at Uneo park.

His finger lingered over the send button. He wanted Ryuuzaki to stay longer, and if Takada was found out, then there was no way Ryuuzaki would stay longer. But if he went through with this, and Ryuuzaki found out, he might not forgive Raito.

'Is it really worth it?' Raito thought, tapping his finger against the phone lightly.

'It is,' Raito decided, as he pressed the send button.

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Getting out of the building had been easier than Raito had thought. It was a Saturday, and even though people were still coming into the building that day to work, Raito had been able to get out easily.

L had asked where he was going, and Raito had told him that he wanted to go get a book he had left at his apartment, which wasn't a complete lie.

It was a sunny day without a cloud in sight. Raito made his way over to the metro, since Uneo park was half an hour away from the building, a half way point from Raito's apartment building to L's building.

He got off of the metro, and made his way over to the entrance of Uneo. Takada was there already, and smiled lightly at Raito. "Sorry for the short notice," Raito said, once he had reached Takada. "It's fine, what is it that you needed to tell me?" Takada asked, getting straight to the point, something that Raito liked about her.

The park was bursting with life, with mothers bringing out their children to play on the playgrounds. "Let's walk to somewhere a little bit more private," Raito said, as the two walked further into the park.

They made their way down a path where only an occasional runner passed them by.

Takada made her way over to a wooden park bench. Raito followed her, and the two sat down.

"Kiyomi-san, there is something you should know," Raito began, as he turned his head to face Takada. "What is that?" Kiyomi asked, as she turned to face Raito. "L will be putting cameras in your apartment to monitor your movements today. If you truly are Kira, I suggest you don't use your killing method while inside your apartment," Raito said quietly.

"I must ask, why are you warning me, and how do you even know, since you are not working on the Kira case?" Takada asked, looking at Raito curiously. "I have my connections, and I just wanted to forewarn you," Raito replied, as he stood up.

"Remember to act naturally at home, or else L will know that someone leaked information to you," Raito said, digging his hands into his tan coat pockets. "If I was Kira I would say thank you for telling me," Kiyomi said as she stood up as well. "Why are you telling me this?" Kiyomi asked, since Raito had not fully answered the first time.

"There is a reason, but I can't tell you," Raito said, smiling apologetically at Takada. "It's ok, I'll see you later Raito-san," Takada said, as the two parted ways.

And Raito couldn't help but hope again that Ryuuzaki would not find out.

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"Are you gonna stop writing in the death note?" Ryuuk asked, as he followed Kiyomi down the park path.

"No, but I will stop writing at home, and you know what that means," Takada said, in a quiet, knowing voice. Just in case someone overheard her. "What?" Ryuuk asked, looking down at Kiyomi.

"No more apples at my apartment," Takada said, glad she had a good reason to not buy as many apples. "But I get symptoms from apple withdrawal," Ryuuk said, looking at Kiyomi in disbelief. "If the camera sees a floating apple in my apartment that magically disappears they will suspect me even more of being Kira, and you don't want me to get caught do you?" Takada asked, raising a slender eyebrow.

"No," Ryuuk admitted, unhappy with the situation. "I will try to sneak you some every now and again, but the apples will not be coming that often," Kiyomi said, quite happy that her grocery bill would no longer be so high.

"What a lucky break for you to be forewarned of this," Ryuuk said, as Takada turned onto the main path of the park. "It is," she agreed, while thinking that perhaps she could get Raito to come over to her side after all.

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Raito had made his way back to the main building after retrieving _Paradise lost_. Heading back into the main investigation room, no one looked up.

Ignoring the rest of the team, Raito made his way to the computer which had been deemed his. "What book did you get?" L asked, as he turned his attention to Raito. "Here," Raito said, as he handed the book to L.

"It is an interesting book," L agreed, as he opened the book up to flip through some of the passages.

"What took you so long?" L asked, as he raised an eyebrow at Raito. "Traffic," Raito said simply, after all it was Tokyo. L just nodded his head, still not looking completely convinced.

A beeping sound made L look away from Raito, and bring up the connection. A large gothic W appeared on the screen in front of L. "What is it Watari?" L asked, turning his attention to the computer.

"I have finished installing all of the cameras into Takada-san's apartment," Watari said. "I see, thank you Watari," L said, as he cut of the connection. "I will show you all which rooms we will be using to monitor Takada-san," L said, as he stood up and hunched his body over to the elevator with the rest of the team following behind him. Everyone gathered into the large elevator, and rode up to floor eighteen.

Once the doors slid open, the rest of the team eyes widen slightly. There were over twenty television piled in rows of four. Each one showing a different angle of Takada's apartment. Over in the left corner of the room was a large kitchen. A bedroom was beyond the TV sets, in case anyone desperately needed sleep. A small bathroom was in the far right corner. "There will be two people per shift in case someone has to go the bathroom. This way nothing vital is missed," L said, as he made his way over to the television sets, and started to inspect the screens to double check everything was fine.

"The first shift starts now, decide among you who will be working from now until five p.m.," Ryuuzaki said, as he made his way to the door. "I'll stay," Soichiro said, as he made his way over to the chairs placed in front of the television sets. "I'll stay with you chief," Matsuda said happily. "Now that it has been decided, the rest of us will return to the investigation room. At five Mogi-san and Aizawa-san will watch the apartment until ten o'clock, and then you all may leave," Ryuuzaki said, as he opened the door, and exited it with the other three members following closely.

"Do you think we will see her killing method?" Raito asked, as he turned his attention to L. "There is a seventy two percent chance that Takada will not know about the cameras and will screw up," L said, as he stepped off of the elevator. "And what is the other percentage then" Raito asked, as he walked next to Ryuuzaki. "Another six percent goes to the chance that she may actually figure out that we have cameras in her apartment, while the rest goes to the fact that someone may have or will leak information to her about the camera's," Ryuuzaki said, and Raito was glad he didn't falter in his steps.

"That is a high percentage for Takada being told she is being watched," Raito said, his voice remaining normal. "Perhaps, but she found about the CIA members, and I wouldn't be surprised if someone told her that she is being watched," L said, as he stepped onto his chair, and went back to sitting in his usual crouch.

"Shouldn't we warn the other's to be watch out for unusual behavior from Takada?" Raito asked, furrowing his eye brow. "I will tell them tomorrow, since it is only the first day of this watch, and if she does exhibit any unusual behavior Yagami-san will know and tell us," Ryuuzaki said, purposefully leaving Matsuda out of the conversation.

"I guess Matsuda-san wouldn't notice then?" Raito asked, quirking an eyebrow up. "That would be correct," Ryuuzaki said, dropping some sugar cubes into the coffee which had been placed on the desk.

"Ryuuzaki, do you plan on us sharing a shift with Mogi or Matsuda?" Raito asked as he watched L drop one more sugar cube into his coffee. "You and Mogi might rotate every so often, since I don't want you complaining about losing your beauty sleep," L said, lifting the coffee up to his lips. "Matsuda-san is not in that mix," Raito noted. "So he isn't," L agreed, unaffected.

Raito inwardly sighed, he was tired. Ryuuzaki was still the same, and even though he had decided not to love the younger man, nevertheless he felt himself being drawn back to him anyway. The best thing he had was hope and even that was pushing it when it came to Ryuuzaki Raito grudging admitted that it might be worth it; though it did not mean he was about to forgive the younger man.

"Ryuuzaki, which floor is your room located on?" Raito asked, the younger man "On the twentieth floor," L replied bluntly. "Why exactly are we on the same floor?" Raito asked, feeling slightly annoyed. "Raito-kun should know that there is a small percentage of me, which suspects you of being Kira," L said, looking at Raito evenly.

The room went silent for a moment, before Raito responded angrily, "I am not Kira!"

"You are smart enough to get around the police, but because Kira has not hacked into the police files the probability of you being Kira is small." L said, ignoring the guilty feeling he had at admitting his childhood could be a mass murderer.

Raito stood up abruptly, and began to leave. "Where does Yagami-kun believe he is going?" Ryuuzaki asked aloud, but didn't turn around to face the retreating back of his friend. "I have a laptop in my room, I will be working in there for the remainder of the day," Raito said coldly. "Yagami-kun should stay down here, in case we find any clues," L pointed out.

"We haven't found any leads yet, perhaps the cycle will continue for the day," Raito replied, as the elevator dinged loudly, alerting the room to its arrival. "I will see you later on today L," Raito said, stepping into the elevator, and hitting the button for the twentieth floor.

L said nothing, as he started to stack sugar cubes, ignoring the work in front of him. He didn't want Raito to be a suspect, and the very idea of his love interest being a mass murderer was an unthinkable idea. But as L, he had to think of all of the possibilities and sadly it was not an unthinkable idea.

If Ryuuzaki believed in a God he knew that he would pray to the apparent all might being that Raito was not Kira.

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Raito stormed out of the elevator before the doors had fully opened. His hands fumbled with the key card before ripping it out of his back pocket and shoving it into the door. Yanking the door knob down, the door opened with a loud click. 'It is official L is a fucking bastard,' Raito thought pulling the card out of the door and placing it on the stand next to the door.

The door shut silently, not reflecting Raito's turmoil. He began walking back and forth, hoping he repetitive motion would soothe some of his anger, but all it seemed to do was add more fuel to his anger.

Taking a deep breath, Raito moved to the couch and sat down on the plush leather. He needed calm himself down, think through the accusation rationally.

The percentage was at least low, low enough to be only a passing thought, but he knew the way L worked. Any amount of percentage meant it was pretty damn high. 'Freaking asshole,' Raito thought as he curled his hands into fists. His fingernails digging painful into the palms of his hands, but none of that mattered because L suspected him, Ryuuzaki suspected him.

He was suspected of being a mass murderer from his friend, really he had ever right to be annoyed with Ryuuzaki. And no matter how mad he got at the younger man it would not matter because Ryuuzaki had grounds to suspect him and no one could really protest. Being L came with a lot of perks.

Perhaps he wasn't supposed to ever be with Ryuuzaki; though it didn't matter because Ryuuzaki was doing a fine job by himself. Raito thought as he got up to get his laptop and began to work. He really did need to do something productive before he lost his mind thinking about the what ifs.

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When Soichiro had first gotten back to the main room he had looked around for Raito. Aizawa, noticing the stare, went up and explained that Raito and L had an argument which made Raito decide to work in his room for the rest of the day.

Soichiro decided to leave his son alone, since Raito was still working on the case, and was at least avoiding confrontation, though Soichiro got the feeling it would not last for much longer. He had expected Raito to come back down once his son had calmed down, but as the hours went by and ten o'clock rolled around, he did not see his son.

Soichiro cast one last glance at Raito's empty chair before he exited headquarters with the rest of the team.

L personally thought that Raito was acting like a child, who had not gotten the candy bar he wanted in the grocery store.

L had told Watari to watch the monitors for him till midnight, and time had passed much too quickly, for eleven fifty five was glaring at L from his computer screen.

Reluctantly L stood up from his chair, and shut off the computer before going to the eighteenth floor.

As soon as the elevator doors slid open, L walked over to see only Watari sitting in front of the television sets. "Yagami-kun is in the bathroom at the moment. Do you want me to stay any longer?" Watari asked, as he stood up to face Ryuuzaki.

'Yes', L thought, not wanting to deal with Raito just yet, even though he had ignored the older man for the whole day. "No, that will not be necessary," L said, as he made his way to the chair Watari was inhabiting to sit in his usual position, while bringing his thumb up to his mouth to nibble on it.

Watari disappeared into the kitchen, before re-appearing with a plate of chocolate cake and a bowl filled with a variety of candy. "Will that be all?" Watari asked, standing to the side of L. "Yes. You may go to bed Watari," L said dismissively. Watari nodded his head to L before exiting the room.

Raito walked out a few moments later with a slight look of shock on his face for seeing Ryuuzaki in the room already. Neither one said a thing, as Raito took a seat next to L.

The television screen showed Takada, sleeping soundly on her bed. An hour passed then another with complete silence still encompassing the room.

L couldn't take this much longer; there was no way he could concentrate on a sleeping Takada, with a pouting Raito sitting next to him.

"Raito-kun, it is only a three percent chance that you are Kira," L said finally, breaking the interminable silence. Raito continued to look forward, maintaining his stoic resolve. "I didn't think you be this childish. It's not like I have your room bugged," L said, even though he may have placed a camera in the bathroom, but Raito didn't need to know that it was there, or where it was.

"How long have you known me?" Raito asked, turning to face Ryuuzaki. "Fourteen years," Ryuuzaki said, whilst mentally adding eight months and fifteen hours, but Raito didn't need to know that either.

"Do you think, I could become a mass murderer?" Raito demanded, and L could feel the trap in that question. "If you could kill with whatever method Kira is using then yes, I think you could," Ryuuzaki said honestly, thinking that even after spending years with Raito, he was still socially handicapped.

"I see," Raito answered, and turned his gaze to the sleeping reporter.

Shit, L thought. Whenever Raito didn't react right away it meant the anger was going to be tenfold later.

"You asked," L pointed out, hoping to get a reaction from Raito. "Indeed, and it is nice to know that my best friend thinks, I could become a mass murderer, who wants him dead!" Raito spat angrily.

"It was just an assumption that you would get some pleasure out of my demise," Ryuuzaki said, as he leaned over to grab a Kit-Kat bar out of the bowl. "Ryuuzaki, you may anger me a lot, but I would not wish death upon you" Raito said in a quiet voice. "I do not want you to be Kira, but I have to take it into consideration," Ryuuzaki replied. "How high is my actual percentage?" Raito asked feeling his hand start to clench. "It is roughly a thirty eight percent" Ryuuzaki said as his eyes moved to the ceiling in concentration. Raito stood up slowly and moved to stand in front of the younger man. "What is it Raito-kun?" Ryuuzaki asked with the Kit-Kat bar dangling from his mouth.

Raito drew back his fist, and smashed it against Ryuuzaki's check. The chocolate bar went flying out of the sweet addict's mouth, as the chair fell backwards from the force. Raito quickly followed, and grabbed Ryuuzaki's shirt. "Do you really think that I would become a mass murderer when I have been waiting to see you again!?" Raito demanded, as he shook Ryuuzaki by the collar angrily.

"Do you really want me to answer that?" L asked as he tilted his head to the side. Raito let his left hand drop Ryuuzaki's sleeve as he pulled back his fist, but the opening allowed L to free himself from the iron grip, and sink his lower body close to the ground, while shooting his right leg up and kicking Raito square in the jaw, emphatic hard.

Raito's whole body was lifted an inch off of the ground, and was thrown backwards, to land on the floor with a hard thud. "An eye for an eye," Ryuuzaki taunted, as he stood up, and made his way over to Raito, who hadn't bothered to get off of the ground yet.

"How long are you going to lie there?" L inquired, as he walked around the fallen chair. "Raito-kun?" L asked, feeling like something was wrong.

Raito was lying on the ground, un-moving, L knelt on the ground hoping that Raito was just being an ass, and pretending to be knocked out. Placing his hands under Raito's head, a warm sticky feeling attached itself to L's fingers.

 Ryuuzaki quickly drew back his hand, and bought it up to his face to see blood."Raito-kun, wake up! Raito-kun!" L cried, as he put his index finger on Raito's neck and felt the pulse beating steadily. That was a good sign at least, but L nerves were screaming at him to do something. Opening Raito's mouth, L felt relief that Raito's tongue was not blocking the young man's passage way. 'At least his breathing is fine,' Ryuuzaki reassured himself as he let Raito's mouth shut. 'What if Raito is dead?' L thought as his hand hesitated over Raito's eye.

 'He's not dead, simply unconscious' Ryuuzaki chanted, as he let his hand yank Raito's right eyelid open.

Raito's un-seeing eyes were looking back at him at their normal size. 'Not dilated, but he could still have a concussion' Ryuuzaki thought, as he released Raito's eyelid. Slowly L took in a sharp breath of air that he realized, he hadn't been holding. 'Not dead,' L repeated in his head like a prayer of thanks to an almighty being, whom did not exist.

Raito's eye twitched lightly, before opening slowly.

"Ryuuzaki, what happened?" Raito asked, his speech slightly slurred.

Ryuuzaki pulled Raito up closer to him, and hugged the older man to himself, his shoulder shaking slightly. "What's wrong?" Raito asked, confused. "I'm glad, you're ok," L whispered gripping Raito's shirt more tightly.

Raito looked bemusedly at his friend, but wrapped his arms around Ryuuzaki's neck nevertheless, pulling the younger man closer. "I'm fine," Raito said in a reassuring tone.

Neither one said a word, until Ryuuzaki finally raised his head. His hand went into his jeans' pockets, as L hit the speed dial number. After a few rings a sleepy voice answered the phone. "What's wrong?" Watari asked, concerned. "Raito-kun hit his head on the edge of the coffee table, I need you to meet me in the medical room, and make sure he is ok," L said, running his hand through Raito's hair to make sure the wound wasn't too bad. "I will be there in five minutes," Watari swiftly responded, and with that L cut the connection, glad Watari wasn't asking him any questions yet.

Raito kept his arms around L's neck, not sure why the younger man was upset. "Let's go," L said, as he shut his cell phone and stood up. Raito stood up gingerly, while placing his hand against the back of his head. "My head hurts," Raito said, wincing in pain. "I would think so," L said looking nonplussed.

"Where are we?" Raito asked, looking around the room, confused. "First, I need to know what the last thing you remember is?" L asked, taking Raito's free hand, and leading him to the elevator. "You told me you loved me, and then left the room," Raito said, wincing slightly. "That's it?" L asked, as the elevator door opened. "How much am I forgetting?" Raito asked, looking nervous. "About four years worth," L replied, releasing Raito's hand, and hitting the button for the seventeenth floor. Glancing down, L saw some of Raito's blood sill on his hand. He quickly wiped it off on his pants, while waiting for Raito's shock to kick in.  

Raito looked at L, surprised. "Why am I forgetting four years worth of my life?" Raito asked, feeling that it had something to do with Ryuuzaki.

"Later, Raito-kun, we really need to get your head looked at," L said, as the doors opened, and the two exited the elevator into the medical room. "Why aren't you answering my questions? What the hell did you do that makes you not want to tell me what is wrong?" Raito accused. "Why is it that if you forget four years worth of your life it is my fault?" L asked, even though it was. "Because I am bleeding from my head, and it is probably because you kicked me again," Raito replied angrily.

"What makes you think I kicked you?" L asked, as he sat Raito down on one of the medical beds. "Because one of the chairs in the room was knocked over, which probably means I started the fight, and you responded with your signature move, which is kicking me," Raito pointed out, starting to feel tired. "Raito stay awake, you could have a concussion," Ryuuzaki said, seeing Raito's eyes began to close.

"Tell me something that will make me stay awake," Raito retorted, leaning forward slightly. "You are in my building working on the Kira investigation," L said. Raito winced in pain at the name Kira, it sounded familiar, but at the moment it hurt too much to think about it.

 Wait Ryuuzaki's building? Since when did Ryuuzaki start owning buildings? Another sharp pain erupted throughout Raito's head, 'best not to think about such matters now.'

"Tell me something that is not going to hurt my head from trying to remember," Raito said, while applying more pressure to his head wound. L went quiet, not sure what he could say. 'Where is Watari,' L thought, wanting the older gentleman to show up already so he could get out of answering. "If you are not going to tell me anything than I really am going to fall asleep," Raito continued tiredly.

"I still love you," L blurted out. Raito's head shot up to look at L, before he winced in pain, and looked back down at the ground. At that moment, Watari came into the room already equipped with a medical bag. "Ryuuzaki, go stand on the other side of the room,'" Watari ordered, shooing his grandson away. The room was white with five medical beds in it, just in case someone from the task force got sick, and it wasn't serious enough to warrant a hospital.

L moved away from Raito's bed, and sat two beds away. Resting his head on his knees, L mentally scolded himself. Out of all the things to say he had to say he had to tell Raito, he still loved him. That just threw away months of hiding his emotions. Lifting his head up slightly, L glanced at Raito, praying the younger man would forget, or perhaps, if he was lucky, he could convince Raito he said 'I love you' to make the younger man stay awake. Ryuuzaki highly doubted that Raito would buy it, but his luck may have not run out yet.

Moving his eyes to Watari, L was sincerely happy that the elder man had a degree in medicine and knew what he is doing. L trusted him much more than some random doctor at the hospital.

After half an hour had passed, Watari finished bandaging up Raito's head. "Raito-kun you have a mild concussion, and retrograde amnesia, which has made you lose your memories. I am sure they will come back in the next few days, or a trigger word will activate your memories. You do not have a brain lesion, so there is no need to bring you to a hospital. I recommend you get plenty of rest," Watari said, smiling at Raito kindly. "Thank you, Whammy-san," Raito said, as he smiled at Watari.

"It is my pleasure to help you feel better," Watari said politely.

 "What do you wish to do about watching Takada-san?" Watari asked, glancing over at L. "It's only the first night, and I am recording her actions on film. I'll just get someone else to watch them tomorrow," L said, standing up.

"Would you like me to wake Raito up every hour, or would you prefer to?" Watari asked, as he turned his head to face his grandson. "I'll do it. I will just bring my laptop in here to work," L said. "Alright then, goodnight Ryuuzaki, Raito-kun," Watari bid them, while smiling at the two before leaving the room.

L walked over to Raito's bed, and stood near the older man. "You can go to sleep now, but I will be waking you up every hour to make sure you don't fall into a coma," L said, with concern lacing his voice. "Did you mean it Ryuuzaki?" Raio asked as he stood up carefully, and moved to the sink that was in the far corner of the room. His left hand was still covered in blood.

L did not say anything as he watched Raito make his way over to sink. His hope of Raito forgetting went down the drain. "I want to hear the truth, and not another lie," Raito responded, annoyed that he had blood on his white shirt.

Raito turned to face Ryuuzaki, not sure if he wanted to hear the response to his question. "I wanted to say something that would make you stay awake," L responded vaguely. 'It feels like a lie' Raito thought, as he made his way back to his bed unsteadily.

"Let's talk about this when you are willingly to tell me the truth" Raito responded tiredly, as he pulled the sheets out and slipped under the covers. Raito lay on his right side, knowing that he couldn't sleep on his back.

"Goodnight, Raito-kun," L murmured, as he left the room to retrieve his laptop.    

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**"Back again," Ryuuzaki stated from behind Raito. "It would appear so," Raito agreed, not sure why he was in a cold ocean. "Usually you turn around by now, is there something that happened between you and my real self?" Ryuuzaki asked curiously. "How often do I have these dreams?" Raito asked, still not turning around. "You haven't had any for four years," the dream image responded.  **                       

**"Is there a reason that I have not had this dream, for as long as I have not been in contact with the real Ryuuzaki?" Raito asked, finally turning around to face the phantom. "You have been suppressing your memories since you fully realized Ryuuzaki was not coming back for you," Ryuuzaki responded.**

**"What do you mean? Ryuuzaki is here with me now," Raito asked, confused.**

**"Oh, but he hasn't been, for those long four years," Ryuuzaki said, with a small smirk spreading across his lips. "What do you mean? He obviously came back for me," Raito queried. "He came back because the Kira case interested him, not because of you," the dream image said, mockery lacing his baritone voice.**

**"What do you mean by that?" Raito asked, feeling as though he truly did not wish to hear the answer. "It means that you don't recall him being L," Ryuuzaki said, looking amused.**

**'L, the world's greatest detective. He is the one I have been striving to beat, and Ryuuzaki left me, so he could fulfill his career goal without having to tell me. He left me for four years without a single word, and we only met again because he needed help with the Kira case,' Raito thought, as his eyes widened slightly. His body bent forwards, and his knees hit an invisible platform beneath him.**

**Ryuuzaki walked over to Raito, and pulled the elder man's head back tightly. "Do you recall it now Raito-kun? The betrayal you felt at having your equal walk out of your life without so much as a goodbye? What must it have felt like, waiting for the phone call that never came?" The dream figure taunted, while chuckling to himself.**

**"Why even consider forgiving a man who left you behind not once, but twice?" Ryuuzaki asked, gripping the hair tighter, and forcing Raito to look at the facsimile once more. "I don't know if I want to or not," Raito admitted, looking away from Ryuuzaki. "Oh? And why is it that you don't know? Is it because you can't admit aloud that you still love Ryuuzaki, even though he left you?" the apparition baited, his breath now mingling with Raito's.**

**Raito's eyes moved back to look at the image of Ryuuzaki angrily. "Tell me once you figure it out," Ryuuzaki mockingly said, as he released Raito's hair, and walked away, leaving Raito alone in the icy depth.**

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Someone was shaking him. Raito groaned in annoyance as his eyes fluttered open to reveal L's mirror eyes looking back at him, and Raito was suddenly tempted to punch him again.

"Now that you are awake, you can go back to sleep," L said, as he released Raito's shoulder. "I hate this whole waking me up every hour, on the hour, thing," Raito said weakly, as he turned his head away from L's penetrating gaze. He couldn't stand to look at L's kind eyes, not when he was still supposed to be angry with the younger detective.

"Do you remember the last four years of your life yet?" L asked, getting the feeling that Raito was distant again. "There was never really anything to remember," Raito said, as his eyes closed and sleep claimed him again.

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End of chapter 7

Many thanks go to Fouloldron, for editing this chapter. All of you would of screamed 'no, not again,' with the horrible grammar mistakes. I really do appreciate it Fouloldron, especially with you being busy with school to. Give much praise to Fouloldron, for she is kickass!! Any leftover grammar mistake is my fault, especially at the beginning since I can't find the revisions. I am deeply sorry about that.

What did you all think of this chapter? Where the interactions good?

Please leave a review and tell me what you all think of this chapter. For reviews brighten my day!

P.s. - I am shamelessly attempting to get more people to read my newest story I posted up called, _Having to buy Freedom, _check it out please.

-rain angst


	8. Bedside conversations and future plans

Title- The choices we make

I am so sorry that it took me so long to update, damn you writers block and _Having to Buy Freedom _story, keeps stealing all my time from other stories. But I love that story, so I can't stay mad at it. I wonder how many people will still acknowledge this story. Guess I will find out soon enough.

Enjoy!

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Ryuuzaki watches as Raito shuts his eyes again and falls back into a steady sleep. He raises his pale hand up to Raito's face and strokes it a few times. Raito unconsciously moves closer to the touch with a content smile on his lips.

"Raito-kun is right. I do love him, but you wouldn't be happy with this life style. Constantly moving from country to country, ignoring family members while knowing that if your identity is ever discovered those people, you have close ties to, will die," Ryuuzaki mutters quietly, allowing his finger to stroke Raito's face one more time before pulling his hand back to himself.

"Ever since we were children you have always shined in the sunlight letting people migrate to you while I hid in the shadows. This job requires becoming one with the shadows. You would never truly be happy hiding away in the dark because you are a mystery that blends into the sunlight. I don't think you will ever be truly happy being with me. That is why I never told you the truth," Ryuuzaki murmurs quietly as he caresses Raito's face one more time before he turns to leave.

A hand grabs Ryuuzaki's wrist as he begins to walk away. L freezes and turns his attention to the older man. "Is Raito-kun awake?" Ryuuzaki asks hesitantly as he kneels besides the bed to look at Raito's face.

Raito's eyes are shut; he doesn't appear to be awake. "Move over," Ryuuzaki orders quietly, testing to see if Raito will or not. Raito rolls onto his side, allowing L to squeeze into the open space he has created. The pressure on his wrist does not lessen even though his and Raito's hands are resting on the older man's side.

He missed this, being so close to Raito was like being whole again.

Ryuuzaki sighs to himself; he knows the consequences of doing this. But it is not a feeling he wants to give up again; especially when the younger man is offering it to him unconsciously freely.

Closing his eyes slowly, Ryuuzaki falls into a light doze. Concentrating on the feeling of Raito's hand wrapped securely around his wrist.

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The first thing Raito feels is hot breath ghosting across his face. He opens his eyes slowly and blinks a few times in surprise. His head is pounding, but the surprise of seeing Ryuuzaki laying beside him dulls it. "You haven't been in the same bed as me for over four years," Light idly comments. Not showing his shock of seeing Ryuuzaki only a few feet away from his face.

"You grabbed my wrist rather tightly," L remarks and watches Light's eyes move to their hands.

"So I have," Light agrees.

"Will Raito-kun release my wrist now?" Ryuuzaki asks calmly, his owl like eyes staring at Raito's face.

"What will you do if I say no?" Raito responds as he raises an eyebrow.

"Then I shall have to live with the fact that Raito-kun refuses to give me back my wrist," L sighs sadly.

"Ryuuzaki I want to know the truth. You may lie a lot, but you do have your moments of telling the truth, as rare as they may be." Raito murmurs as his hand tightens on the younger man's wrist. L is quiet for a few minutes.

"Raito-kun, has to understand a few things before I answer him," L finally says, and Raito inwardly sighs in relief. It's a start.

"What are those reasons?" Raito inquiries as his face goes neutral.

"I'm sure you know that this job entitles life and death situations," L begins and hears Raito make a sound of agreement. "The reason I did not tell you about this job is for two reasons. I know that you want recognition for the work you do and hiding behind a letter is the closest thing you will get to appreciation. The second reason is you will never be able to see your family again, because there is a chance that if your identity is ever discovered you will die along with your family members. Can you really do that? You have always been on good terms with your family." L stoically says.

"You were also close to your relatives before you left," Raito points out wearily.

"True, but distancing myself from them was a lot easier than you," Ryuuzaki mutters.

"You say really cheesy lines," Raito remarks amused.

"Raito-kun does not seem to mind," L replies with a small grin on his face.

"I know that it is dangerous, but you should have let me decide that on my own. If you're risking your life it is only natural that I would risk mine, Police work isn't exactly a safe job." Raito responds curtly.

"You won't have a social life. You will have to linger in the shadows and forsake the people you once knew. Do you really want to do that?" L inquiries with a blank expression on his face.

"I'm not sure if I want to, after all you left me behind twice," Raito replies flatly.

"I don't want Raito-kun to die, nor get into situations that would cause it. Which is a main reason I didn't tell you," L responds feeling his arm starting to fall asleep.

"Even if you don't take me along this time, my life would still be in danger. If any of the criminals I put away ever got free they would come after me." Raito states as his eyes start to droop.

"You could always go into the witness protection program," L replies as he shifts his weight.

"We both know that is not going to happen" Raito responds with a tried smile.

"True, you are too stubborn to go," L agrees.

"You would be to," Raito retorts as he sits up slowly. "Ryuuzaki, you did not answer my question from last night yet," Raito murmurs as he stares down at the younger man.

"I don't know what you are talking about," L lies as he sits up as well.

"You know exactly what I am talking about," Raito hisses angrily, relieved that sitting up is making him more alert.

"Enlighten me," Ryuuzaki flatly responds as he moves into a sitting position.

"For the record this is payback," Raito mutters as he grabs Ryuuzaki's neck and pulls him forward until their lips are pressing against each other.

Ryuuzaki eyes widen in shock as he gawks at Raito. Raito gazes at him defiantly as he moves his lips against L's in a slow kiss and raises his hand to cup L's jaw. Leaning forward Raito presses his lips more firmly against L's and smiles as he feels Ryuuzaki wrap his fingers around Raito's neck. L gently nips at Raito's bottom lip, but Raito pulls away before allowing the kiss to go any further. "Does Raito-kun have something to add to that?" L pouts as he raises a thin eyebrow.

"I want you to answer this truthfully, consequences be damned," Raito murmurs as he stares into L's eyes intently.

"Ask away," L mutters, already knowing the question.

"Do you still love me or not?" Raito questions tightly as he searches L's coal eyes for an answer. L buries his toes into the bed while he goes over the pros and cons in his head. "If I say no can I still get away with kissing you?" Ryuuzaki asks hopefully.

"No," Raito flatly responds as he waits for L's final answer.

"I don't want you out of my life," Ryuuzaki final murmurs.

"You need to say the actual words," Raito asserts, but a slight tinge of hope enters his voice.

"Only if you say it first," Ryuuzaki alleges.

"Why should I, I asked you first," Raito retorts childishly.

"But I have told you before, so it is only fair that you go first this time." Ryuuzaki replies, like it is the logical thing to do.

"You really know how to annoy me," Raito grumbles under his breath.

"It's a gift," Ryuuzaki responds and Raito feels a smile tug at his lips.

"I am still angry at you, but I love you for some unknown reason," Raito mutters as he sinks back into the bed.

"You should get some rest," Ryuuzaki replies as he gets of the bed. Raito grabs L's wrist and meets his eyes calmly.

"I want you to say it," Raito murmurs tiredly, his grip loosening on Ryuuzaki's slim wrist.

"Will Raito-kun stay with me?" L asks ignoring the amusement behind Raito's eyes.

"I thought it be more of a demand," Raito replies with a smile ghosting across his lips as he rests his head against the soft pillow.

"I think we should seal the deal," Ryuuzaki responds seriously.

"You just want to kiss me again," Raito mutters as his almond eyes began to close.

"Is it really that obvious?" L queries as he tilts his head to the side.

"Yes," Raito pause as he yawns before talking again. "Maybe when I wake up," Raito murmurs as he shuts his eyes, his breathing evening out a few minutes later.

Ryuuzaki sits on the bed next to Raito's and opens up his laptop, his hands run across the smooth keys with ease. A small ding sound catches his attention and he sees Watari enter the room.

Quillish appears in the entrance, his tie slightly undone from the stress of the two geniuses who dance around each other. Especially Ryuuzaki, if they weren't on good terms yet he is going to scold his nephew, but depriving him of sweets is a more effective method. He pushes a cart into the room and stops once reaching L.

"How is Raito?" Watari asks in a low voice.

"He just went back to sleep," L answers quietly.

"Did you figure anything out?" Watari questions as he hands L a plate of Chocolate Mousse cake.

"I don't understand why Raito wants to stay with me," L admits as he balances the plate on his knees.

Watari takes a few steps closer to L as he puts a cup of tea on the small bedside table along with a glass of water and an aspirin bottle. "It's the same reason you are finally letting Raito back into your life," Watari responds knowingly.

"You caught onto that," L says with a small smile.

"Personally I think it took you long enough," Quillish answers honestly.

"It was for his own good," L dryly remarks.

"It seems to me that he was worse off without you," Watari replies as he turns his attention to the sleeping Raito.

"It does," L agrees and gets a small sense of satisfaction that Raito had not been happy without him.

"Yagami-san has been asking about his son, what do you wish for me to tell him?" Watari inquiries softly, effectively changing the topic.

"Don't tell him anything. When Raito wakes up again I will see if he wishes to talk to his father," L instructs.

"I will wait. Is there anything else I can get you?" Watari queries gently.

"I'm fine for now," L offhandedly remarks as he takes a bite of his cake. Watari nods his head and pushes the cart away. L goes back to his typing and waits for Raito to wake up.

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Raito wakes up a few hours later and moans in pain as a migraine forms in his forehead. He opens his eyes slowly and uses his hand to shield the sun that is illumining the room. "Ryuuzaki, what time is it?" Raito whimpers.

"It is three forty five," L states and sees Raito's eyes widen in shock.

"Why didn't you wake me up sooner?" Raito demands as he attempts to sit up in bed, but collapses back onto the mattress in pain.

"You're not working today," L strictly responds.

"I can still work," Raito argues.

"You have a concussion it is best that you take the day of. Now do you wish to have your father come up here or not?" L inquires flatly.

"I don't want to worry him," Raito replies in a low voice as he fully sits up and opens up the aspirin bottle.

"He will be even more worried if you don't tell him anything," L offhandedly remarks, watching Raito swallow two pills, with the water, before laying back down.

"This coming from you?" Raito retorts. It still hurts that Ryuuzaki left without telling him anything. But he rather have Ryuuzaki in his life than out of it.

"We both know that I am not proud of that decision," L replies flatly.

Raito releases a small sigh, "I know."

"Call your father yes or no?" L asks again.

"No, it would get you in trouble as well. Just tell him I need a personal day," Raito decides.

L nods his head before pulling out a cell phone from his back pocket. "Quillish tell Yagami-san that his son is fine and he will be taking the rest of the week of," L instructs and hears Raito protest.

"This isn't open for discussion," L firmly says and Raito glares at the detective.

"It will be," Raito hisses quietly.

Watari begins to talk and L turns his attention back to the phone conversation. "I will tell him know immediately and then come up to look at Raito's head."

"We will be expecting you soon," L replies while snapping his phone shut.

"I don't need a week!" Raito snaps, but winces as his head shoots in pain.

"You do," L states as he shuts his laptop down. "Once Quillish looks at your head, I want you to get more rest," L instructs and Raito makes a face of disapproval. "The sooner your head heals the faster you will be back on the investigation," L reminds Raito.

"Fine," Raito agrees unhappily.

The elevator doors ding and Quillish appears in the entrance. Before going to Raito's bed, he grabs a new head bandage and some gauze in case he has to clean Raito's cut again.

"Let's check that head Raito-kun," Watari says kindly. He slowly unwraps the bandage and makes sure the wound hasn't started to bleed again. Seeing nothing he smiles in relief as he starts to wrap a new bandage around Raito's head.

"Your wound is healing nicely," Watari observes.

"I'm glad," Raito says as Watari finishes wrapping his head.

"Ryuuzaki will you be coming downstairs?" Watari asks inquisitively

"I will be," L responds as he stands up.

"Ryuuzaki," Raito mutters and L looks down at the older man.

"What is it Raito?" L queries in a low voice.

"You better come visit me later," Raito grumbles.

"I will," L agrees. "Get plenty of rest," L reminds Raito sternly.

"Hmm," Raito murmurs as he shuts his eyes.

L and Watari enter the elevator and begin their descent to headquarters. "I'm glad you and Raito are on good terms again," Watari mentions.

"Me to," L concurs.

"I'm happy I didn't have to resort to sweet depriving you," Watari responds and watches his nephew turn wide eyes at him.

"You wouldn't," L mutters disbelieving.

"The thought became stronger every day," Watari counters.

"What a sad day that would have been," L mourns.

"Such a day would do you good," Watari gently chides.

"Doubtful," L murmurs as he walks through the open doors. Quillish follows him with an amused smile on his aged face.

"Ryuuzaki where were you?" Soichiro asks once he sees the detective make his way past him.

"Watching over some camera footage," L answers with ease.

"Is Raito really ok?" Soichiro inquires worriedly.

"He is fine, he just needs his body to catch up with his mind," L responds offhandedly.

"Can I see him?" Soichiro requests worriedly.

"You cannot go a day without seeing your son?" L asks amused.

"I can, but it's better than four years," Soichiro curtly whispers, so only L can hear him.

"It was done for his protection," L mutters under his breath.

"Raito doesn't need it," Soichiro responds tightly.

"This is not the place for this conversation," L points out as he signals to the other members of the task force.

"Your right," Soichiro agrees grudgingly.

"Perhaps another time Yagami-san," L dismisses as he walks over to his computer station. The seat next to him is empty and even through Raito is alive and well, L stills feels a sense of regret coursing through his body. He's the reason Raito isn't sitting next to him right now. But a very small part of him is thankful that there fight had escalated to the point of Raito's injury. Raito is going to stay with him; L doesn't think he deserves the forgiveness, but if Raito wants to stay with him, he isn't going to stop it anymore.

Mogi and Aizawa leave together to go take over their shifts of video surveillance. Matsuda enters the room with a small frown on his face.

"Ryuuzaki I'm glad you are down here, I need to talk to you about Kiyomi-chan," Matsuda murmurs quietly.

"What is it?" L asks intrigued.

"You see when I was watching Kiyomi go about her daily habits, of getting ready, her hands kept twitching nervously. I noticed that she does this whenever she gets anxiousness about something, but her face can remain calm," Matsuda explains quietly.

"That is useful information, good work Matsuda-san," L says and sees Matsuda grin.

"There is one other thing," Matsuda begins and watches L turn his head to face him again.

"Go on," L encourages.

"Takada has been mumbling to herself a lot and she has never done that before," Matsuda murmurs as his eyebrows furrow in thought.

"Write down what she is doing, whenever she exhibits either behavior. Go inform Mogi and Aizawa of this development. The chances of someone having forewarned Takada has gone up twenty five percent," L instructs.

"Of course Ryuuzaki," Matsuda answers as he leaves the room to go tell Mogi and Aizawa.

"Who do you think told Takada?" Soichiro questions curiously.

"If someone did tell Takada it would have to be someone who leaves headquarters. That would narrow it down to you and Aizawa, but, at the same time, Raito left this building on the day we installed the cameras in Takada's apartment. There is a short time frame in which Raito could have done it," L mumbles more to himself.

"You seriously think that Raito would go behind our backs like that?" Soichiro demands angrily.

"I think he could have, but like you I hope that Raito has not," L murmurs as he gets out of his padded chair.

"Where are you going Ryuuzaki?" Soichiro calls after him.

"I need cake," L replies over his shoulder as he exits the investigation room and moves into the kitchen. He opens up one the fridge and glances over the many assortments of cakes. For now he is going to ignore what Matsuda said and just think that Kiyomi is nervous at about her upcoming live broadcast.

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Raito awakes to see the room empty. It's slightly disappointing but at the same time he really hadn't expected anyone to be in here. His head is still pounding, but the pain has died down. A shadow catches Raito's attention and he turns his eyes to look at the person who has just entered.

"Does your head feel better?" Ryuuzaki inquires as he sits on the bed next to Raito's.

"Get me a trashcan," Raito commands as his stomach churns violently. L grabs a small trashcan that is on the other side of Raito's bed. He places it on the floor, in front of Raito's head. The older man leans forward and vomits, his hands gripping the side of the bed tightly. L gets up and kneels next to Raito as he awkwardly rubs the older man's back. Raito spits into the trashcan before resting his head against the pillow again.

"I'll be back," Ryuuzaki mumbles as he stands up and exits the room. Not too long after he comes back with a water bottle.

"Thanks," Raito murmurs as he props himself on his elbows. He takes a small gulp, before allowing the cool liquid to rush down his burning throat. Lying back down, L takes the water bottle and places it on the nightstand next to the bed.

"Matsuda has made an interesting observation," L causally states.

"What's that," Raito mumbles.

"Takada is showing peculiar habits," L says offhandedly.

"That is weird," Raito agrees as he stares at L indifferently. 'I thought she could act better, guess I gave her to much credit,' Raito mental sighs. This situation is going to get more difficult.

"The chances of someone having told her has significantly gone up," L mutters and Raito releases a small sigh.

"I'm not in the mood for head games, say what you're thinking," Raito responds evenly. L is silent as he stares down at Raito. 'Perhaps now is not the time,' L thinks as he averts his eyes to the ground. Raito has just forgiven him and this could permanently damage their already unstable relationship. But L knows that if anyone told Takada it would be Raito. The older man had left when they were first installing cameras and calling Takada would be so simple.

'Soichiro and Aizawa have no real connection to her, but Raito dated her,' L thinks annoyed. 'But there is still no real evidence that Raito told her. I can wait for that other person to get back to me and wait for confirmation before making a move,' L mentally nods his head in resolution before looking at Raito.

"It's nothing, how is your stomach?" L questions as he bites his thumb.

Raito looks at L slightly surprised, he was positive L would accuse him of being the one who told Takada. 'He doesn't want to damage our rocky relationship, or is he waiting for solid evidence against me? It's probably the second,' Raito thinks dejectedly, but feels a small smile settle on his lips. "Doesn't hurt anymore," Raito responds with a shrug.

"Good, I should get back. I told your father I was looking for cake," L replies as he stands up.

"What slice did you decide on?" Raito asks as he lays on his side.

"Lemon cake," L grins before leaving.

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End of chapter

I know this is a lot shorter than pervious chapters, but I feel really bad about not updating in awhile and an update is an update right? I know the thing with Takada is kind of lame with Matsuda figuring it out, but I couldn't think of a cool ass way, so this is what I went with.

Did you all enjoy this chapter? It took me forever to decide if I wanted to rekindle L and Raito's relationship or not. Finally I went screw it; it will be fixed for now. Hope this chapter isn't too disappointing.

So is there any way I can get ten reviews, or is that being too optimistic? Please review and tell me what you all thought of this chapter^^.

-rain angst


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